fabio10 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Im 27 I've always been an out going funny and confident guy, I've always done well with the ladies and never really let my guard down I've always stayed single untill 9months ago. Me and my best female friend of 4years began dating. I took it slow at first I knew what made her tick and what other men had done wrong that dated her in the past. She is 23 and has been in relationships really since she was 15 before we got together she had been single 7months. Before I knew it she told me I was the 'one' and that she always had romantic feelings towards me.As our relationship grew I noticed a side of me I had never seen I was caring and romantic and implusive. Our families and friends were delighted that we had hooked up, we never fought, there was never strain just really having a good time. The 4weeks ago she rang me said she wasnt feeling it anymore, and that maybe we needed a break, I said I didnt do breaks so we met had the 'talk' and broke up on good terms. She kept texting me telling me she loved me and perhaps if we stayed as friends for a few years we could hook up and be serious when we are both really ready as we both want to travel etc. I thought I was able to go back to being 'just friends' but after a week or 2 I realised I could not. i asked her not to contact me again and i could not be just a friend, she got really mad; said I was selfish and to stop feeling sorry for myself. This in turn made me mad I said she was cold and not the person i thought she was, funny the first fight we ever had was breaking up!We have not talked now in 2weeks I rang one night when I was drunk so deleted the number. I miss her so much I use all the tips like try focus on something mad about her when you think of her but its hard. I really am love in with her and its the first time I really fell for someone after all the women I've been with, I'd swap them all for her in a instant! I can see it from her point of view that she has never really been single in her adult life and wants 'me time' as women say but I had never really entered a relationship in my adult life and I do so just because it was her and now I feel cheated. The worst is we are both attending the same university in 8weeks time and will have to see each other every day ! Im keeping busy, working out etc. But what I want to know is your opinions on my story and what if anything do you think will happen! THANK YOU FOR READING PLEASE REPLY !
DustySaltus Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 "Me Time" is a common phrase used by people as a nice way of saying "Not with You" time. I know what you mean when you say that you feel cheated. You opened yourself up to her and she hurt you. The shock from that will last a while but understand that her needs are self serving. She wants the breakup without the pain. She wants your availability without commitment. She wants to try to put the focus on you by calling you selfish, when she's the one asking for "me time". I think you were very clear with her about not being able to be friends right now. She either respects that or she doesn't. Stick to NC and if she comes back down the line it will be for the right reasons. She made the decision not you, let her deal with the consenquences for now.
Author fabio10 Posted August 4, 2010 Author Posted August 4, 2010 Thank you dusty Im new to this and your the first to reply and I greatly appreciate it. I agree with you about the 'me time' I had that feeling too that is what she meant and I accepted that, but the very night she broke up with me she texted me at 4am saying I hope you know I love you and that confused me and what made it worse was that she continued texting about ten times a day, then I was asking myself if someone needs 'me time' why is she trying to keep contacting me !? This continued untill I said friends aint enough and it never will be, our mutual friends thought we'd get back together but my own friends woke me up abit and said I was being too nice and she needed time to miss me,so I asked myself could I really just be a friend and the answer was no! I know Im hurting bad I try be myself but at some stage everyday the mind hits rewind. What keeps going over in my head was how she said if we came together in a couple of years. I know she is not ready for marriage or the likes and neither was I but at the same time I know she is the love of my life if you get me and I was trying to take things slow but she talked about us living together and all that I think in a way she scared herself! Alll I wanted was us to enjoy ourselfs and see what happens but she used to talk about the future. Cause we were best friends before the loss is great but I just know I can never go back to the way we were as friends, she like was trying to invite me on nights out and still visit my parents and wanted me to still visit hers but I just said it would be too weird! The whole situation dose not make any sense to me small things she said like I'd never be able to refer to you as a 'ex', I will stick to no contact but it will be hard when we come face to face in university in 8weeks as we study the same course. Am I being selfish or immature or am I just reacting normally!
DustySaltus Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 , then I was asking myself if someone needs 'me time' why is she trying to keep contacting me !? She said "me time" because it's a great excuse to use. If you question her on that she gets to say that your selfish and puts the guilt on YOU, when it should really be on her. She contacts you because she feels guilty and wants to lessen that guilt. Am I being selfish or immature or am I just reacting normally Normal. You're not the one asking for "me time".
Author fabio10 Posted August 4, 2010 Author Posted August 4, 2010 Thank you, I was thinking Im reacting normal I know she'l go round saying Im being selfish etc to people. But when I said no to friends and she got mad that is when I finally blew a fuse, I said she was a liar and all the things she said was lies and she was cold and not the person I thought she was etc. Then she launched 'we are two different people and many people agree' what does that mean ? two different people sudden after being best mates for years and her telling me I was the one etc. Did she say this out of temper do you think cause I stood my ground on the friends and insulting her!? She starting contacting one of my friends last week asking what were we doing the weekend! And she said that no one had ever spoken to her in the way I did and I really hurt her and that she was not happy being with knowing well it would get back to me. Yet when we broke up she told me how great our time was and it was the hardest decision of her life ! The problem I have is does she mean all she is saying cause she is like contradicting herself alot !
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