counterman Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 So, I met this girl last week in class last week and sat next to her. Since that class was group work orientated, I didn't see it as an opportunity or anything to date. Well, we spoke and I do like her quirks. I saw her again this week and asked her if she would like to have coffee sometime, she agreed and I got her number. She initiated a hug goodbye which was nice. I got her number yesterday and cannot see her this week. I was thinking about asking her for coffee mid-next week, and I know I would see her this coming Monday. So, should I call her and ask if she's free on Wednesday to get coffee or should I text her or just wait until I see her this coming Monday? Just don't know if I have established enough of a rapport to call. But, she did give me her number.
Sophia8 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I would phone her, she did you her number after all. Some women feel that the guy is not interested if she does not receive a phone call for an entire week, and this may cause an awkward situation on the coming Monday.
Author counterman Posted August 4, 2010 Author Posted August 4, 2010 Maybe I was decided whether to call or wait it out because I have been a little jaded recently and don't really know if I am interested in her. I should give it a go though, just to see how it goes.
BubbleFreak Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I think you should call her. What have you got to lose?
USMCHokie Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Maybe I was decided whether to call or wait it out because I have been a little jaded recently and don't really know if I am interested in her. I should give it a go though, just to see how it goes. You haven't even gone out with her yet, how do you know if you're interested or not...? Call her prior to Monday, even if you can't see her this week. It lets her know you're interested. Schedule something for next week. And here's another thing...even if you see her in person every day, I would still call her...there's something especially personal and intimate about a phone call outside of class... And you know how I feel about texts...
ConflictedGuy27 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I would definitely text her! as a setup for calling. something like: "shame on you if you think I forgot about us grabbin' coffee. ;p I'll give you a call later in the week, cool?" or if you're concerned she won't respond back, leave off ", cool?". that way it's more declarative, then asking if it's okay with her. if she responds to either, you totally know where you stand AND she's expecting your call, without knowing what time it's coming - a total tension builder. texting is way under utilized IMO. there are pros and cons, yes; but clearly you should text in this situation.
USMCHokie Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 texting is way under utilized IMO. There's a reason for this...unless you're in middle school and just got your first cell phone... I save the texting for friends and more established dating...but to each their own...
ConflictedGuy27 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 There's a reason for this...unless you're in middle school and just got your first cell phone... I save the texting for friends and more established dating...but to each their own... yeah, you're the proverbial text Nazi, Hokie. I have to admit your advise is always worth considering. I hope OP follows up with how it went down. since she initiated the hug, my guess is she purposely let's the call roll to vm, to gage how attracted he is and to see what he does. if he'll be seeing her in class again soon, I don't think calling makes sense.
USMCHokie Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 yeah, you're the proverbial text Nazi, Hokie. I have to admit your advise is always worth considering. I hope OP follows up with how it went down. since she initiated the hug, my guess is she purposely let's the call roll to vm, to gage how attracted he is and to see what he does. if he'll be seeing her in class again soon, I don't think calling makes sense. Hahah, thanks. Yea, counterman is usually quite good about letting us know how it all goes down. But another reason I prefer calling is that it's much easier for you to gauge how interested she is...texting is so impersonal and EASY that even an uninterested girl will throw back a few texts without a second thought...but asking them to return a call...that takes a bit more effort and weeds out the ones who aren't interested... Also, I'm sure someone will suggest that that women will often not pick up an unknown number...that's why I'll be "that guy" who calls the number right after I get it so that she knows the number...
Author counterman Posted August 5, 2010 Author Posted August 5, 2010 Well, when I got her number, I did call her right away and so she has my number. I called her just then and I tried to set up something before class, so we would get to class together (we're in different groups in class), so that was probably a good reason to call. It went to voicemail and I left a message, which said that we should get coffee before class, and she should call me back if she's interested or I will call her back later. So, what do I do now?
USMCHokie Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 So, what do I do now? Go on living your life. If she calls back, then good, go from there. If she doesn't, then you have your answer and you can move on...
ConflictedGuy27 Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Well, when I got her number, I did call her right away and so she has my number. I called her just then and I tried to set up something before class, so we would get to class together (we're in different groups in class), so that was probably a good reason to call. It went to voicemail and I left a message, which said that we should get coffee before class, and she should call me back if she's interested or I will call her back later. So, what do I do now? after you get a number, sit on it. minimally 3 days to a week, but since you're in the same class you basically have a venue where you know you'll see her again so you can play things SLOWER. never call immediately. if she's head over heals for you, then sure, that'll work; but most of the time attraction has to be built over time. over eagerness kills attraction at least 10x faster than you can build it. it's always safer to slow play. she's not going anywhere.
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