MissVegas Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I'm posting here because I'm always on the coping thread looking at topics and feel you guys are very supportive and have extremely good insight..I need help on a topic...I believe I'm about to end things for good with my boyfriend of four years and wanted to know if i'm being completely irrational... My boyfriend told me last night he's going to Vegas with his best friend. I went to Vegas with a good friend earlier this summer because he was not around for my birthday and told me he wanted me to go so he could then then go with his friend. Except I got really mad and hurt so bad when he told me he was going because just last week my boyfriend asked to borrow 810 dollars, he has paid it back but he's always complaining how poor he is. When we talk about our future he says he's too poor to afford a ring and a wedding right now. As well he was not here for my b-day this year did not take me for b-day dinner or get me a gift, did not do anything for valentines day this year, i never get flowers, i never get taken out to dinner or movies or anything like that. I chalked it up to him lacking funds and have been understanding of this and I let these things slide. I always pay for things if I want to do them like dinner out, ice cream or a movie. And I always get him nice gifts because I work hard and have more money than he does, I took him to Vegas last year for his birthday It made me really mad that he can afford Vegas probably (1800 all together) but tells me he can't afford things to make me feel special? As well when I mentioned the ring and our future and how I must be low on his priority list he said "I don't want or need to buy you a ring right now". FYI My boyfriend has partied for the last 11 years of his life and all his friends are single including the one he's going with (he's turning 29). We've been together four years and he's partied hard throughout those years and there's been some trust issues. Not actual physical cheating that I know of but sending pictures, flirting etc. He's always travelling without me with friends and I only travelled once without him. When he travelled one time he took a girls phone number from Denver and continued to flirt with her when he got home so I have some trust issues. We discussed how we were going to work on things and start our future and now he can afford Vegas but put me on the back burner? He says I'm selfish and crazy and it's fine he goes because I went? Am I selfish and crazy? Or is this guy just not that into me or us? Do I run? FYI my friend and i that went are both really nice good girls and didnt even think about flirting or doing anything with other guys. We went because I spent my b-day alone as my bf was out of town and hers was as well.
Beeotch Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I'm posting here because I'm always on the coping thread looking at topics and feel you guys are very supportive and have extremely good insight..I need help on a topic...I believe I'm about to end things for good with my boyfriend of four years and wanted to know if i'm being completely irrational... My boyfriend told me last night he's going to Vegas with his best friend. I went to Vegas with a good friend earlier this summer because he was not around for my birthday and told me he wanted me to go so he could then then go with his friend. Except I got really mad and hurt so bad when he told me he was going because just last week my boyfriend asked to borrow 810 dollars, he has paid it back but he's always complaining how poor he is. When we talk about our future he says he's too poor to afford a ring and a wedding right now. As well he was not here for my b-day this year did not take me for b-day dinner or get me a gift, did not do anything for valentines day this year, i never get flowers, i never get taken out to dinner or movies or anything like that. I chalked it up to him lacking funds and have been understanding of this and I let these things slide. I always pay for things if I want to do them like dinner out, ice cream or a movie. And I always get him nice gifts because I work hard and have more money than he does, I took him to Vegas last year for his birthday It made me really mad that he can afford Vegas probably (1800 all together) but tells me he can't afford things to make me feel special? As well when I mentioned the ring and our future and how I must be low on his priority list he said "I don't want or need to buy you a ring right now". FYI My boyfriend has partied for the last 11 years of his life and all his friends are single including the one he's going with (he's turning 29). We've been together four years and he's partied hard throughout those years and there's been some trust issues. Not actual physical cheating that I know of but sending pictures, flirting etc. He's always travelling without me with friends and I only travelled once without him. When he travelled one time he took a girls phone number from Denver and continued to flirt with her when he got home so I have some trust issues. We discussed how we were going to work on things and start our future and now he can afford Vegas but put me on the back burner? He says I'm selfish and crazy and it's fine he goes because I went? Am I selfish and crazy? Or is this guy just not that into me or us? Do I run? FYI my friend and i that went are both really nice good girls and didnt even think about flirting or doing anything with other guys. We went because I spent my b-day alone as my bf was out of town and hers was as well. Your intuition is already telling you what to do.... One of my favorite quotes is "Things are always simple. They may not be easy, but they are simple'" The other one I like that I think applies is: "Sometimes you walk into things, that, if you were paying attention, vibrationally, you would know right from the beginning that it wasn't what you are wanting. In most cases, your initial knee-jerk response was a pretty good indicator of how it was going to turn out later. The things that give most of you the most grief are those things that initially you had a feeling response about, but then you talked yourself out of it for one reason or another." --- Abraham Sooo...I'll leave you with those
spriggig Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 He's treating you this way, in large part, because you're letting him. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming you, he's 100% responsible for his actions. However, if you stood up for yourself more, he'd probably make different choices--but not necessarily better choices. This guy isn't husband material, in any case, and at your age, that's likely what you're looking for? Here ya go, read this: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/
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