anothersadstory Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 sometimes i feel like i need to talk to him so i write letters either to just erase it all or to never send it to him. and then other times i actually hit that send email knowing he'll never respond. why do i do such crazy things? anyone else here do stuff like this?
Ella whispers Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 A thousand times. It feels good to get it out even if noone but me sees them. I burn them afterwards.
September Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 sometimes i feel like i need to talk to him so i write letters either to just erase it all or to never send it to him. and then other times i actually hit that send email knowing he'll never respond. why do i do such crazy things? anyone else here do stuff like this? Guilty as charged! I did the exact same thing. I had the urge to talk to him all the time also. Going from having constant daily contact to being cut off completely is very hard. I still get the urge now, even after 7 months. So hard to deal with an unexpected disconnection from them. When I emailed him, I knew he was reading them but not responding deliberately. Knowing his ego was being stroked, I ended up catching him out reading them by placing a hidden read receipt in the message that let me know when he read them. I then forwarded these to him to prove I knew he had read them. Busted! He has stopped reading now..
MorningCoffee Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Yup. Just composed a lengthy one tonight. Deleted it, too. Nearly 5 months NC (I was SOM to my fMW/AP). But no sign she's taken any action to change her situation, and so I choose not to give her the satisfaction of knowing I still care.
Silly_Girl Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I have done this so often. I've also 'talked' to him whilst driving to and from work'. I looked completely crazy but it was so useful!!!! Can I make a suggestion about the letters? I was having a particularly bad weekend and had written an extremely long email. And sent it to myself and not him. But it didn't go away this time and I didn't feel I had expelled that bubble of anxiety and emotion. I replied to the email. Twice. The first was how I would want him to reply (found this easiest to write but hardest to read back after). The second was how I guessed he may well reply based on what I knew at the time (he'd gone NC without warning and I was very confused). Took a lot more thought. And I compared the two. And it helped me a lot to identify my loving fuzzy feelings and knee-jerk stuff from the reality of the situation and what was going on versus how I wanted things to be. Maybe not everyone's as nutty as I but I honestly found the exercise a huge benefit and would do it again.
Tsm Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Yep i do write something all the tym but i never send my pride just wont let me. SG lol... i also talk to myself all the time while driving,i have different scenes all the time funny hey but it does help i must say
Hazyhead Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I have done this so often. I've also 'talked' to him whilst driving to and from work'. I looked completely crazy but it was so useful!!!! Can I make a suggestion about the letters? I was having a particularly bad weekend and had written an extremely long email. And sent it to myself and not him. But it didn't go away this time and I didn't feel I had expelled that bubble of anxiety and emotion. I replied to the email. Twice. The first was how I would want him to reply (found this easiest to write but hardest to read back after). The second was how I guessed he may well reply based on what I knew at the time (he'd gone NC without warning and I was very confused). Took a lot more thought. And I compared the two. And it helped me a lot to identify my loving fuzzy feelings and knee-jerk stuff from the reality of the situation and what was going on versus how I wanted things to be. Maybe not everyone's as nutty as I but I honestly found the exercise a huge benefit and would do it again. This is an interesting way of doing it... I can totally see how this would help; kind of like flushing the conversation or issue out - not letting it whirl endlessly around your head anymore. I wrote, a lot, at first: emails, letters, even stories. I didn't do anything with them, it just really helped me to express myself. It's a great outlet [i was going to acronym your name here, then I realised it came to 'ass' ] another, and if it helps, use it. Writing is not crazy at all. Keep going.
joey66 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 It would be easier to ask if anyone here hasn't done those things! I sent dozens of emails that I knew wouldn't get a response, and they didn't. So I sent even more. Insanity, I know. I still fight the urge to send her emails.
BB07 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I've probably wrote a million words over the years, such wasted time, it was.
Hazyhead Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I've probably wrote a million words over the years, such wasted time, it was. Wasted on him... maybe, but the act of you doing it isn't a waste! Not only is it a great way to express yourself, it's therapeutic, and a skill. You know, the stuff that is written in these forums is enough to fill novel after novel (especially your story). You're a good writer, BB; embrace it
carhill Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 sometimes i feel like i need to talk to him so i write letters either to just erase it all or to never send it to him. and then other times i actually hit that send email knowing he'll never respond. why do i do such crazy things? anyone else here do stuff like this? Long before PC's and the internet, I wrote letters and cards, some sent, some not. After I decided the dynamic was unhealthy and said goodbye, I sent a nice manilla envelope with them all to her house, along with the ones she had sent me over the years. Fortunately for her, she got the mail that day instead of her husband. Had things been different, it would've been in interesting cruise for them. The next time around, many years later, it was more e-mails than letters/cards, and finally I was able to break the unhealthy cycle with the help of phychotherapy and, no, I didn't do an e-mail dump when it ended. It just faded away. Peace, at last. For me, writing is good therapy. There's a lot I write here on LS that never makes it to the forums or to my journals; it gets deleted in the post box. Writing it out provides me the clarity I seek, but there's no need to share all of it. Good luck!
BB07 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Wasted on him... maybe, but the act of you doing it isn't a waste! Not only is it a great way to express yourself, it's therapeutic, and a skill. You know, the stuff that is written in these forums is enough to fill novel after novel (especially your story). You're a good writer, BB; embrace it LOL........thanks Hazy! Hugs......
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