Do You Feel Compelled to Return a Compliment When Given One?

[USMCHokie]

Today, I was given a compliment by a guy I know at the gym. I replied with a simple, "thanks, I appreciate it." But I see him all the time there and felt slightly compelled to return a compliment to him...but I didn't...I felt like if I did, it might not be seen as genuine and may even seem forced, as if I'm simply doing it out of courtesy...but then again, his physique and hard work are certainly deserving of a compliment...

 

If someone you know (or even someone you don't know) compliments you, do you ever feel the need to give them a compliment back?

[denise_xo]

No. IMO, a compliment should be offered on the basis that it is a gift, not a demand for reciprocity. Obviously, there are situations in which I feel 'obliged' to give a compliment although it might not come from the heart, and I think the need for returning compliments is generally greater with people you know and interact with on a regular basis than with those you don't. In the kind of situation that you are describing I see no need for you to extend a compliment unless you feel like it. What I don't really get from your post is whether you wanted to give him a compliment but didn't do it because it might seem forced, or whether you didn't feel like returning the compliment but felt like you had to for reasons of 'politeness'?

[USMCHokie]

What I don't really get from your post is whether you wanted to give him a compliment but didn't do it because it might seem forced, or whether you didn't feel like returning the compliment but felt like you had to for reasons of 'politeness'?

 

Well, it all happened so fast that I didn't really react in time and just went about my day...I didn't actually have any intention to give him a compliment, but some people seem to instinctually return a compliment simply out of politeness, almost like a reflex...

 

For example, lets say a friend of yours says to you, "wow, I really like your dress." Would you ever react by complimenting whatever she was wearing even if you wouldn't have said anything otherwise...?

[denise_xo]

Well, it all happened so fast that I didn't really react in time and just went about my day...I didn't actually have any intention to give him a compliment, but some people seem to instinctually return a compliment simply out of politeness, almost like a reflex...

 

For example, lets say a friend of yours says to you, "wow, I really like your dress." Would you ever react by complimenting whatever she was wearing even if you wouldn't have said anything otherwise...?

 

Sometimes, maybe. I might go on and talk about my dress instead To be quite honest, I think I put less thought into it than you, I'll give a compliment if it comes naturally or if there seems to be a particular reason to give one (e.g. she just told me about having bought the new dress she is wearing, which kind of invites giving a compliment). Bottom line for me is I try to be honest and not throw around blatantly false compliments (and I don't think I'm on instinctual reflex), but sometimes you are in social situations where one is expected whether you really buy into it or not.

[Ruby Slippers]

I say do what comes naturally.

 

I love giving compliments, and I do it sincerely. People can tell the difference, so an insincere compliment works to your disadvantage. So many people are so full of criticism and negativity -- I like to be one positive voice of inspiration when I can, and I'm good at seeing the good in people that not just anyone can see.

 

In your case, I think a sincere return compliment could open the door to at least a friendly gym acquaintanceship, if not a friendship. And that's always good!

[Sophia8]

Normally I accept the compliment with a thank you and a long lasting smile. Sometimes I will also give a compliment not because I feel forced to but because it's genuine.

[Jilly Bean]

No, but I do tend to prattle off an explanation of the compliment, that the person probably doesn't care to hear. lol

 

Example today of a woman in the gym coming over to watch me do rope crunches, and then tell me what great shape I'm in. Rather than say thanks, I launched into the Bean Fitness History.

 

She probably won't be back for workout tips.

[Feelin Frisky]

No. IMO, a compliment should be offered on the basis that it is a gift, not a demand for reciprocity...

 

Spot on. Thanks is enough if it is to some dude at the gym. If it from a woman it could be an icebeaker if you want it to be.

 

To CHokie: As you reminded us repeatedly: "no homo", I wonder why you would ask.

[USMCHokie]

To CHokie: As you reminded us repeatedly: "no homo", I wonder why you would ask.

 

Hahah, funny you should say that...the guy who complimented me is actually gay...

[D-Lish]

Hahah, funny you should say that...the guy who complimented me is actually gay...

 

Then he wasn't complimenting, he was coming on to you;)

[USMCHokie]

Then he wasn't complimenting, he was coming on to you;)

 

Score!

[laRubiaBonita]

Then he wasn't complimenting, he was coming on to you;)

 

yep yep.... or at least showing his interest.

 

but to answer you question: no i do not feel compelled to return a compliment- but there are times when i do return theur compliment with a thank you and a compliment to the person. for example, i have gotten complimented on shoes and i was already thinking that person had awesome shoes too- so i say thanks and tell them i was about to tell them how i was just admiring their shoes too- not because i feel i should return the compliment, but because i was about to tell them the same thing.

[FitChick]

No. You don't have to reciprocate if there is no reason.

[alphamale]

If someone you know (or even someone you don't know) compliments you, do you ever feel the need to give them a compliment back?

compliments should be given with no strings attached so i usually just say thank you

[Green]

Score!

 

When he gives you a bj you should probably offer to return the favor.