IfiKnewThen Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 just want to know.... if you had given more to a female than she had given back to you and you always kept it inside you and never told her then let it build up then finally broke it off with her ...(really you didnt even discuss a break up just gradually stopped calling her...making excuses..etc.) (but still told her you were in love with her).. and you found other female friends who made you feel better about yourself, as compared to the job you thought she did...but werent commited to any of these woman.... would there be ANYTHING your ex could possibly do to turn your feelings around and have you consider spending time with her again? sadly this is long distance so that makes the challenge even greater. forget all the details about how your ex failed you in your eyes; we are just talking overall.... is there anything your ex that you broke off with, could possibly do to begin to make things up to you...heal things between you. (no there was no cheating) maybe your ex was just cranky a lot (yikes) and talked about her problems too much, because her life around her was very stressful at the time. i have been very nice to my ex for 3 months since he broke up with me. i dont call. i wait for his calls. he does call me but now its becoming less and less. he will accept a visit from me...says i can come to his state...but he has moved on..but says hes not involved with anyone seriously. he very secretive about his life now. dont want to talk about anyone hes dating. says no one serious. i have been with him since he was in his 20's. hes now in his 30's. he was madly in love with me...i was up to my eyeballs in muck in my life and leaned on him a lot and did overlook his needs. he kept saying he understood was ok with it. i have to explain all of this some other time. the bottom line is.... if there was someone your ex that you left could do to get you back what would it be. what turns men on and turns them off? if you were losing interest in or lost interest in someone..(please think back on this) would there be anything...someone you dumped could have done to make you re-evaluate things if you had truly loved her once? almost afradi to read the answers but any tips from a mans point of view of what could have changed their minds would help:o Link to post Share on other sites
Lost Fish Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 You have to start living your own life. Stop waiting for his calls. Start trying to live in the present. He is not with you anymore. You don't want life to pass you by while you are waiting for something that never may come. And yes, when you find your independence again he may notice this new you. You have to let him go in order to reconnect to your true self. Only then will you possibly have a shot. But the distance will still be a real challenge. Stop trying to figure out what could have been and start learning to accept things as they are. I wish you strength and solace IfiKnewThen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IfiKnewThen Posted August 4, 2010 Author Share Posted August 4, 2010 thank you so much for responding lost fish. i reread my post and anyone who could understand it... well thank you for taking the time to read it. its amazing you understood it with all its twists and turns in my writing it. i was very spent when i wrote it, but you understood, plus you took it one step further and gave me great solid advise. i will use it as a stepping stone for strength. i certainly need it at this time. basically in a nut shell i was wondering if any of you men out there would (or have) consider taking back someone you broke off with. would there be something a woman could do to make you open up to her . and what would that be? omg no matter how i pose the question it sounds weird. i guess i failed royally and want when a woman does that..fails a man...what in a man opinion can be done. i am satisfied with your response lost fish. i might not have any other options. life is seriously passing me by.... i am functioning...but in a sad...lost daze, with heartpain. and i know i blew it and having to live with that...is the greatest sadness and weight i have ever known. anyway . thank you again ) Link to post Share on other sites
Don Ho Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 Hey Ifiknew. Yes your post was confusing. I don't think there's anything you could have done or can do. In reading your post for the 3rd time, I starting thinking maybe he's emotional dysfunctional. I'm not sure his Mother or a priest could get him to open up. Best for you to plan on moving on. Plus like Lost Fish said, it's long distance. Believe me that's always a problem for anyone. I would quit wondering what YOU did and figure it's just HIM. Not that it fixes it for you, but at least maybe you don't keep banging your head on the wall. To answer your question, of course men take women back and women take men back. I don't know that you screwed up royally and the only thing a woman can do is back WAY off. I hate to sound cliche, but if it's meant to be it will be. BTW, Art has a great saying on his profile that says somethin like: "Someday you will meet the RIGHT person and when you do you'll wish you hadn't wasted so much time with the WRONG person" Link to post Share on other sites
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