Don Ho Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Ok met this gal about 6 weeks ago. She was the one that initially noticed me and wanted to meet me. She was texting me and chasing me. Her interest level was probably 90% and mine was 70% cuz I just met her and was unsure what she was all about and wanted to get to know her. BTW, I'm 45 and she's 35. We got along really great, joked around and had awesome sex. Our personalities where very similar. Everything was great till a couple of weeks ago. She called and said she had some drama with her 6 year old daughter and her daughter's Dad (he's remarried and out of the romantic picture) Wed nite. Her daughter didn't want to go to her Dad's Wed nite. My Ex felt guilty, like a bad Mom, like she's not giving her enough time and attention, you know. After her daughter left Wed nite, my Ex said she was tired and stressed out and wanted to go to sleep. Ok, fine. Anyway, I "felt" there was something "wrong" and being the AFC, I started pushing and pressing to find out the problem. I asked her if she wanted to meet for lunch during her lunch break on thurs. She txt me that she was in a "really bad mood and believe me you don't wanna be around me". Hmmm. Ok. She txt later I asked if I was "butt hurt" and I said "nope". She had been asking and hinting around the past month about "what we were doing". DUMB ME I think I laid back too much and didn't give some of what she wanted to hear. Instead I made jokes and didn't answer very straight. So I sent her a text thurs afternoon that said "Hey you text me the other day (Sunday) and asked "what is my expectation with what we're doing?"" I text her "I expect we are just seeing each other, having a good time, I like your daughter and this has the potential for a relationship". She called about ten min later after leaving work and in a cheery voice said "I don't know what to say". Why? "Because I didn't expect you to do that" I told her I like dating her, like her company, and by "relationship" I meant we should keep dating and see where it goes. She said, in a happy voice "cool. then we're on the same page". Thursday eve comes along and she's going to meet her BFF (who once again is depressed over some bad boy, booty call) for dinner and drinks (the usual) I asked her if she wanted to meet up or wanted me to come over later for some "fun" after she got home. She was elusive and said "I don't know" I said "fine" and said I was going out. She said "fine. you do that. have a great nite" So about 10pm she txts and says "Hi?" She said she was out but going home, did I want to come over? I was kinda drunk so part of this is blurry, but I said something about "I'm on my way do you want to get busy?" She text back, "naaa I'm going to bed" (which is common she gets up early for work). So here's where I REALLY start to **** it up. I call her and she asks "where are you"? I said in your town. She said "me too I'm almost home". I was actually across town and told her a white lie cuz I knew she would tell me it was too late. So as we're talking she keeps asking "where are you?" and I kept saying don't worry I'm like 5 min away. At this point she said I was a liar and I wasn't in her town and she was shutting her phone off. I said I was just down the street and would really be there in 5 min (I really was by this point). So she shuts off her phone and (DUMB, DRUNK ME) I continue to her house. Knock on the door. Ring and ring the doorbell. She doesn't answer. WTF? I leave. I left no voicemails, nothing. I went home. She texts the next morning and says "sorry I turned my phone off, but you lied and I told you not to come by that I was going to sleep." DUMB ME, I text back "well I came by because I really was just down the street at that point and knocked and there was no answer". She said "serves you right, I told you not to come over". WTF?? What a biatch. Oh, it gets worse. So I text her back "why didn't you answer the door? Were you wearing earplugs or you had another guy there?" Oh, boy. That wasn't good. She was really mad then. I did text her and explained what happened and that I was sorry. I asked her if we could talk about it on the phone and she said "I don't know, I have my daughter and I don't want to deal with this right now". So I let it go for Friday nite. I txt her "good morning" on Sat and she didn't respond. I txt after an hour and asked if she was still mad. She said yes and "I have my daughter and I don't want to deal with this right now" I sent her a pic of my butt and txt "Sorry I was an ass but I wanted to see you and missed you, can you blame me? LOL" She sent back LMFAO. So I left it for Sat so she could focus on her daughter. And boy, DUMB ME, I should have left it alone. But DUMB ME, I keep thinking "I'm losing her" and can feel her to continue to pull away, so on Sunday I start the press again. I asked if she was still mad and she said "yes, just let me be and spend time with my daughter". DUMB ME I kept pressing. She gets back and says "You lied about where you were, didn't listen when I told you not to come over". The next text from her was "we're not even on a relationship and your ass comes over and then you have the nerve to ask the next day if I had another guy there." Yes I'm mad. just let me be and spend time with my daughter". DUMB ME, I said "we're not in a relationship"? (I meant like dating relationship, seeing each other, not a RELATIONSHIP. She says "No. We're not in a relationship. I just got out of one six months ago (he cheated on her and moved in with another girl a couple of weeks later) and I don't want a relationship. I'm cool". Ok. I was dumbfounded. I txt "Wow! I thought you really liked me". She said "it's not that I don't or didn't like you". Ego bruised, I left it at that. Sun eve, DUMB ME, decides to write one last txt per the instructions of my AFC buddy that knows nothing. So I txt "Hey just got back from boating. Ok, no worries. I enjoyed the time we spent together and I wish you and your daughter the best. Hit me up if you wanna chat sometime". Well 8pm thurs nite she sends a txt (a couple hours after she dropped her daughter off). It said "Hey hope everything went through on your house purchase. I'm sure our paths will cross at some point. Take care. :)" WTF? Anyway, after remembering a little better about what to do with NC and reading LS again (I used to be a member a few years ago) I did not respond and have not. That was last thursday that I heard from her and this is now Tues nite. I wanted to send her a "see you later" txt, but didn't. I was going to say "Yes, the house deal went thru. Thanks. I agree with you breaking up with me. It's really for the best. You're great, but I don't want a relationship right now. Maybe we'll cross paths if YOU are lucky. LOL". That is probably the "back away" txt I should have sent Sunday nite instead of the one recommended by my AFC buddy. So. Like most of you, I just "don't get it" how we got along great and she bailed out. Another guy? Just wanted a booty partner? Really doesn't want a relationship? Thinks I'm a liar, weak and a stalker and that made her lose attraction? Really wasn't that into me or she wouldn't have bailed out? All the above? My friend that knows "of her" through her friend said my Ex is kind of a mixed up woman and that's what she does (dates guys and if they want more or get too close dumps them). I re-read Caliguys post about NC. He says never ever contact. Should I have sent the text I wanted to send or just continue to do NC and move on? BTW, I met a new girl that is cool, but I love my Ex's personality and how we got along great (I know, how we USED TO get along). I know, I know, if she really liked me that much she would be here. Suggestions and thoughts?
Author Don Ho Posted August 4, 2010 Author Posted August 4, 2010 LOL. Funny bro! Take it you had a similar experience? What did you do?
Art_Critic Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Suggestions and thoughts? Wow... A girl you met 6 weeks ago helped create a 15-16 paragraph thread.. Dude.. just move on.. 6 weeks.. that is 45 days.. just past a billing cycle NC.. just like Caliguy says.. never contact and go out and find another one..
Author Don Ho Posted August 4, 2010 Author Posted August 4, 2010 LOL Art. That pretty well sums it up .... only 45 days. But come on bro, she DID have a magic xxx!! LOL. Billing cycle. That's funny $hit. I did meet a new one. She's probably too nice and normal for me. LOL. Now I remember you from a couple of years ago and your quote on your signature. 2 funny. I get it Epak. I wasn't really that into her.... I liked her and loved the sex .... but when she pulled away. You know. I get it, run for the hills now.
sloudrou Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I've only read bits of the OP because I'm too lazy to trawl through the entire thing, but I'll make a couple of pointers anyway. 1. As soon as you feel yourself losing power in a relationship, or feel the woman you're with losing interest, it's time to pull the needle out of your arm IMMEDIATELY. Pull back and wait for her to call you. Once you've shown your hand and experessed your interest, the ball is in her court. If she bails at that point, she never really wanted to be with you anyway, and that's your cue to move on. 2. If a woman ever flakes on you without an EXCEPTIONAL reason (i.e. a death in the family or something like that), dump her and move on. You don't have time for those games, because there are so many other women out there you could be dating. 3. If a woman is always too busy to see you, again, pull back and wait for her to get unbusy and call you. Again, you've already registered your interest in seeing her. If she's too busy, that's perfectly OK, you've got better things to do anyway. Let her call you when/if she decides she wants to be with you. 4. Do not get into endless back and forth phone calls/texting/emailing etc. Those things exist ONLY as a means of setting up times and places to meet in person. Once you've done that, get off the phone. If she wants to keep you on the phone endlessly, tell her you've got something important to do, or an incoming call on the other phone line, and you'll talk to her later. 5. There are some women out there who are just not relationship material to begin with, and having "awesome sex" doesn't change that fact. Once she starts flaking on you, that's your cue that she's either not capable of sustaining a relationship, or not interested in sustaining a relationship. Either way, you have better things to do than waste your time on someone like that.
Art_Critic Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 LOL Art. That pretty well sums it up .... only 45 days. But come on bro, she DID have a magic xxx!! LOL. Billing cycle. That's funny $hit. I did meet a new one. She's probably too nice and normal for me. LOL. Now I remember you from a couple of years ago and your quote on your signature. 2 funny. Magic sex.. oh yeah.. that can warp a guys head some... Honestly.. if all she is after is sex then disappear and see if she calls.. and go out with the new one more.. sometimes nice girls are showing you the side they want you to see and a dirty girl is hiding behind some of that niceness.. ..yeah.. they can't get rid of me around here.. it's nice to be remembered though
Author Don Ho Posted August 4, 2010 Author Posted August 4, 2010 Thanks Art. Now I remember I could always count on you for a smack in the head with a 2 x 4! Yep. I'm not contacting her, seeing the new one and if the old one calls and wants some action fine. Now I know where she's comin from.
Mike B. Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Ok met this gal about 6 weeks ago. She was the one that initially noticed me and wanted to meet me. She was texting me and chasing me. Her interest level was probably 90% and mine was 70% cuz I just met her and was unsure what she was all about and wanted to get to know her. Wow I didn't know they designed a mathematic formula to calculate interest level these days.
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