JackJack Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 (edited) How many of you are supportive towards your wife/g/f? I don't mean supportive in the sense that your support her wanting to work, or pay for dinner, or pursue that dream job, which thats wonderful to, so don't get me wrong, you should support her in that as well. I was meaning stand behind her and support her if someone was to do or say something against her, or towards her, that she felt was wrong when she had not done anything to deserve someone being mean/cruel? I'm not saying your wife or g/f shouldn't be able to defend herself or fight her own battles if need be. I'm just saying would you back her? The reason for this question is, it was brought to my attention by my wife that a friend of hers told her, her husband doesn't really support or back her in to many things. She made it clear she can stand on her own two feet and defend her self if need be, but sometimes its nice to have a man support you or be on your side when it comes to certain things. I understand this, and I'm like this with my wife. If I felt my wife was wronged by someone, family, friend of whatever, I would let my wife do what she needed to, BUT I would be there for and be on her side as well. My wife's fried said her husband doesnt do that . When she asked him why he really doesn't have answer, other than he just wants things to be peaceful, and doesn't want to get in the middle of things. How is being supportive or being on your wife's side being in the middle of things? She also said her husband did no wrong in his familes eyes. So I guess thats the answer for that one. She said he was more worried about what others (his family) thought of him if he stood up for something, like his wife! So it basically matter more what they think than how his wife might feel who was wronged by his family etc. I don't get that concept at all. I couldn't imagine not making my wife feel like she was important enough to support her in how she may feel. So my question is, have any of you guys out there NOT been supportive towards your wife or g/f? If so, what is/was your reason? Edited August 3, 2010 by JackJack
carhill Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 How many of you are supportive towards your wife/g/f? I don't mean supportive in the sense that your support her wanting to work, or pay for dinner, or pursue that dream job, which thats wonderful to, so don't get me wrong, you should support her in that as well. Hindsight has taught me that 'supportive' is subjective and qualified in the eyes of the recipient. I capitalized stbx's move to a new business. I helped her with issues with her family and patiently listened to the 'bitch' sessions about whatever the latest drama was. I supported and showed interest in her hobbies. I still have her psycho cat, the one I can't get within ten feet of. I've been patient as she's munged one aspect of our divorce after another. I helped her buy a new house. Need I go on? In her mind, and I've seen this with numerous women, if a woman *feels* you're an unsupportive, unloving, uninvolved partner, there is *nothing* you can do to change that. Accept it, kick her azz out, and move on. Best advice I ever took. People-picker adjusted. Over and out
Author JackJack Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 Well, another tidbit I forgot to mention was, she said her husbands dad was like this as well. She also said, he has used that pitty card of its a learned behavior/I got it from my dad for way to long. She stated he knew he didn't have to be like this dad was, and that HE could change that. Guess he doesn't want to change that. She said for years she fought her own battles when it came to certain studff, but it would be nice for another (her husband) to step up to the plate and be supportive towards her. I guess some people just can't, or better yet, just wont. BTW, I don't think this is an all the time thing where she "bitches" about him not being suportive over every little thing. This is just about her wanting some kind of support once in awhile. All people need support sometimes, espcially from the ones they care about.
blair08 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Well JJ looks like they must all be supportive, yay!
Onto Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I don't see how you can expect anyone to give you an answer when you leave out the most important details? What did she want him to defend? That info is kinda important.
Author JackJack Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 "I was meaning stand behind her and support her if someone was to do or say something against her, or towards her, that she felt was wrong when she had not done anything to deserve someone being mean/cruel?" This was in my second paragraph of my post. Sorry if I wasn't clear. It wasn't rereally about anything in particular..people can be or try to be supportive in anything really. Its bascially about a man standing by or backing up their spouse if they feel they were wronged.
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