marmaliade Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 How to get back to your normal life, when your ex left you after four years of relationship, had to get married, were already planing kids, learning a new language and getting ready the documents to move to another country. To leave everything here and start a new life somewhere else with the person you love. The reality struck when after one small fight "the love of my life" started screaming, calling me names and was not able to talk in a normal manner. I told him to calm down and have a normal conversation when he is ready. After a week he announced he is going on a vacation to afriend and we would talk in few weeks, when he would figure everything out, because suddenly he felt we dont fit to be married (i asked to solve everything and talk like normal people). No contact, no news from him two, three, four weeks. I contacted him, he ignored me all the time. I really didn't know what was going on, because how come after 4 years suddenly a person becomes not right and the reasons are because you are a bit messy, you want to study more and so on. Lately he started replying some of the messages, but the replies were usually rude or very controlling. Now Im sticking to No contact. But we never had a normal conversation of what happened and I just felt that the relationship was only his and he finished it when he wanted, on his own terms. Never got normal closure, nothing. So first question would be: what is the most effective way to move on, cause feel stuck in all this situation and 2. What do you think might be the reason this break up, cause really not that dumb to believe that suddenly someone doesn't like you because you are too messy, too smart or... Any advice are welcome
nineyearsgone79 Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Ugh <Hugs!> Yeahhh I know the "no closure" thing. Had the love of my life dump me after 9 years via email with no explanation. I personally think they just get afraid about the commitment aspect... I think they just analyze the most tiny aspects of the relationship looking for problems so they can bail. The crazy thing about it is how FAST they move on and how they are so SURE of their decision. That was what I was shocked by... how cold and distant they can become... very uncharacteristic of the person you had come to known and grown with over the years. All I can say is a bit cliche but.... the faster you move on mentally the better. I personally joined the gym and went out with friends way more!! Why let him waste any more of your time than he already has. He obviously is not sitting around sulking about his choice. You will find someone worth your time and Love!! Good Luck!!!
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