HaventSleptInTwoDays Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Was dumped by a girl a few weeks back after a 3 year friendship and then a 4 month dating situation. Our physical chemistry seemed great to me, and I was extremely attracted her. She dumped me on the 18th, I found out she was sleeping with someone else by the 23rd, and he is now her boyfriend. I got a text from her the morning after she first slept with him and it said 'sorry if this wakes you up. but i really miss you.' I asked her how could she do this? My ears hadnt even stopped ringing from dumping me..I could understand a one night stand or something but a new boyfriend within a couple days? She told me, 'This relationship is never something I really thought was good. I shut down and acted like everything was perfect because youre really nice and I wanted to make you happy. But there were too many things missing and once i took a step back I realized I didnt want to overlook them anymore.' So I said like what? And she told me..'For one..I was never physically attracted to you. I tried to overcome that and couldnt. When I met this new guy, I knew I deserved to be with someone that I was attracted to physically. Sexually, him and I click and you and i dont. Im not attracted to you, and I am to him. Thats it' (amongst other things.) I said, 'so why the monday morning text?' she said 'at that point i WAS confused, and I didnt know if what I was doing was right..And I was like 'and now 3 days later, youre sure of it??' and she said 'yes. dont criticize the way i process things' So let me ask you, (id like the female perspective here) is this a thing? Knowing someone for so long, and then dating them for several months..WITHOUT EVER BEING PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU? Only doing it because you like the person and thought you could overcome it?
archivist Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I'm a guy but thats how I felt with my ex. I kept telling myself physical attraction wasn't that important. But in the end my sex drive was affected, I wouldn't initiate sex until it stopped all together. She broke up with me, I don't know if she knows how I felt but maybe had an idea. Still doesn't change the fact that I miss her like crazy and would love to work it out. Honestly I don't think it was just about looks, other things about her would annoy me, so I don't think that on its own is a good enough reason. There were other issues I had with her.
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