Xanif Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 This post is directed mostly at guys (as it is the subject of the content) but I would love input from all sources. I recently started dating this girl and she discovered that I am very good at back rubs/massages. Consequently, she made a few comments about "loaning me out to her friends." Now, I don't mind this, I enjoy giving massages and the like but one of her friends in particular that she mentioned is currently in a relationship. This kind of activity strikes me a somewhat intimate. Is it entirely inappropriate for me to give back rubs to someone else's girlfriend? Guys, would you be jealous of your girlfriend's friend's boyfriend giving your girlfriend a massage? I don't want to step on any toes by carrying through but I also don't want to refuse if this is all in my head.
Citizen Erased Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 You sure she wasn't saying it's a joke? Sounds like one to me. The only people that lay hands on me like that are my boyfriend and the occasional female masseuse. You're right, it is quite intimate and unless it is your job I can't see how it wouldn't be weird anyway.
Author Xanif Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 You sure she wasn't saying it's a joke? Sounds like one to me. The only people that lay hands on me like that are my boyfriend and the occasional female masseuse. You're right, it is quite intimate and unless it is your job I can't see how it wouldn't be weird anyway. It may have been a joke, you're right. The comments were along the lines of "(boyfriend) would never do this for (girl) I am going to have to loan you out." The main reason I am concerned is this comment came after my hanging out with her friends for an evening and one of said friends commenting that "you blend in really well with the girls." This lead me to believe that she felt that that the act could be done in an entirely platonic fashion. Of course, if she never offers then I would never offer on my own and this would be a non-issue. I am more concerned about the worst case scenario in which she offers and her friend accepts and then I must make the decision between carrying through or refusing, which you succinctly addressed in your post and leads me to believe that this would be, in fact, inappropriate.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 It is inappropriate. I would kill my boyfriend if he rubbed another girl's back and I would never accept a back rub from another guy. It's too intimate, especially since it can involve the girl taking off her shirt. But some girls might convince themselves that it's not that way if they truly view you as just a friend.
cookie2 Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Agree, it is not appropriate. Although I do amateur dramatics and we did a scene where we all massage each other conga-style - that was very funny But 1-on-1 sensual massage with someone else's GF.... no.
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