Silly_Girl Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I've never been in this position, or close to someone who's been through this. Am really keen on feedback, in particular from those who have informed their spouse of their EMA. 1) What was your biggest fear before telling your spouse? 2) Did things pan out (short/long-term) as you expected? Many thanks.
Confused4Now Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I've never been in this position, or close to someone who's been through this. Am really keen on feedback, in particular from those who have informed their spouse of their EMA. 1) What was your biggest fear before telling your spouse? 2) Did things pan out (short/long-term) as you expected? Many thanks. 1st)My biggest fear was how I would be perceived as a father once it came out. I knew when I told my exW she would use it to the best as she could. She was verbally and emotionally abusive. When she'd get going my therapist called it "verbal diaria" and I was right...I was crap to everyone in the family and there was no turning back. My kids knew and that hurt. 2nd)For me not things did not turn out.... I know I was not the norm in filing my papers and getting a divorce. Yes I was hoping for a future with my xMW but that never happened. I've finally moved on even though she keeps trying to make contact and tries to feed me the same lines after I left my marriage 2 1/2 years ago...divorced 15 months now. I don't even listen anymore....it's almost comical that I was so in love with a WEAK person considering how strong I am. I've accepted single life and all my kids are with me....I focus on me and my kids. So that area of my life is good. As for romances I don't see anything out there that is worth the time or hassle...
Fallen Angel Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I was honest with my now xH about my relationship with my sweetheart. I was always very open about the contact I had with him prior to my leaving my marriage. It started as friendship, which was encouraged by my xH at the time (You could research some of my old posts or just PM me if you want me to explain further as that would be a t/j here) and became a serious EA. When it became an EA my then H asked about it. I was honest and told him I had fallen in love with my sweetheart. He beat me that night. He called my sweetheart who was half a country away and beat me while my sweetheart was on the other end of the phone. The beating was my biggest fear. But I am not a liar by nature. I survived it. I moved out shortly afterwards. But I already had one foot out of my marriage (Though in a different manner.. ) before my sweetheart came back in my life. I am now properly divorced, and free of a marriage that made me very miserable for a very long time. And I have relearned that I am capable of being truly loved and truly loving someone in return. So no matter what happens in the future, things definately worked out best for me. I am happy, healthy and safe. Life is good!!
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