txsilkysmoothe Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I don't like the items being stretched out of shape. What does this mean?
Shucksaw Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 My bf stopped watching porn for me. If he asked me to do, or rather not to do something like this, I would have no problems accepting that. I don’t care if these two things are comparable or not. I love him. I don’t see anything wrong with what you are doing, but that’s not the point. If modelling lingerie is very important to you, than go for it! Talk to you bf and see if he can accept it. If he can, great! If he can’t, you may need to find someone else, someone who will agree not to watch porn and not to go to strip clubs (things that make you uncomfortable) But if modelling is not that high on your priority list, how hard would it be for you to find alternatives? And, you know, just not doing things that hurt him? However, if you don’t trust him when he says he doesn’t look at porn etc, as some posters suggested …. then it is a completely different situation Good luck!
stillafool Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 What does this mean? When I see someone squeezing themselves into an item of clothing for sale. The garment looks stretched to me and I don't want it.
stillafool Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I quickly scanned about 600 ads for 'vintage lingerie'. Most which appeared on any sort of shape appeared on a mannequin. I saw three distinct sellers who used human models (no idea if they are the seller or not) and two of those three had head/full body shots. Here's an example of one of them. I actually quite like her ads. The seller appears to be the model. Funny and topical. Of course, she's easy on the eyes. 100% positive feedback. Private sales, meaning bidders identities are undisclosed. I will say, by my small sampling, that the ads with a 'human' model seemed to have more consistent bids. Hope they work things out This was on eBay? I definitely wouldn't buy lingerie that some woman was wearing. Yuk!
stillafool Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I do have a mannequin that I use to model most of my items. I only modeled them myself occasionally when the item doesn't look right on the mannequin(too baggy or doesn't fit right..it's a pretty small mannequin). It is better to give the measurements of the garments for sizing. That is what most of us go by when buying these garments.
D-Lish Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I quickly scanned about 600 ads for 'vintage lingerie'. Most which appeared on any sort of shape appeared on a mannequin. I saw three distinct sellers who used human models (no idea if they are the seller or not) and two of those three had head/full body shots. Here's an example of one of them. I actually quite like her ads. The seller appears to be the model. Funny and topical. Of course, she's easy on the eyes. 100% positive feedback. Private sales, meaning bidders identities are undisclosed. I will say, by my small sampling, that the ads with a 'human' model seemed to have more consistent bids. Hope they work things out That's because the mannie is a more professional way to sell the product. There is a certain kind of "buyer" that would be attracted to buying used panties...
txsilkysmoothe Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 When I see someone squeezing themselves into an item of clothing for sale. The garment looks stretched to me and I don't want it. This is a great example of what I see on LS so often and it's so shameful and unnecessary. You are responding to a new member. This is her first post and you are basically insinuating that she is too large for the items she is modeling. You don't know her size and you don't know the size of the clothes she is modeling. There is nothing in this thread that would suggest she is "stretching" out the clothes. If you read this thread, you would know that she is feeling confident about her body/size for the first time in her life after suffering from eating disorders for years. So why would you want to take that good feeling away from her? Who does that?
carhill Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 This was on eBay? I definitely wouldn't buy lingerie that some woman was wearing. Yuk! Yes, it is an eBay seller. Actually, this is what caught my interest, as I like creativity. I didn't want to reveal the seller, just in case it's the OP (I have no idea). It's entirely possible she has more than one item and the buyer gets an 'unworn' one. IDK. The items are also shown on a mannequin.
Author star_light13 Posted August 4, 2010 Author Posted August 4, 2010 Thanks for all the varied responses. It just helps me see how many views are out there. Yes...my face was visible on the shots...but I did think of that recently...that if I needed to...I could have the face cut off so keep anonimity. I don't have my real name on my ebay store or anything so I would hope it would be hard for someone to trace me. I did take down all lingerie pics because I really do care about what my BF thinks and I am willing to compromise. I would still like to do swimwear though if need be. I still am a little bothered by the fact that he doesn't accept modeling lingerie...or has a different perspective. I do believe that he doesn't really look at porn. I know a lot of guys out there will disagree but it would be a long story to explain why I believe this and I don't feel like going into it here. Anyways....thanks for the tip about etsy. Only problem is I've been selling so long on ebay and built up a client base that I would worry I'd lose a lot of business if I all of a sudden switched to etsy. Something to think about though. Thanks for all the thoughts....it does help see all perspectives. I really was only modeling items that didn't fit my mannequin right and I started doing it because I noticed that other sellers who had their items on real people/models...seemed to get better sales. The whole issue still bothers me a bit and I know I can't help that some guys might look at it, but I guess it's still something we have to hash out or compromise on. Maybe even if the compromise was just swimwear and no lingerie...even that I think I'd be okay with. Thanks for all your thoughts. Sincerely, star
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I did take down all lingerie pics because I really do care about what my BF thinks and I am willing to compromise. I would still like to do swimwear though if need be. I still am a little bothered by the fact that he doesn't accept modeling lingerie...or has a different perspective. I do believe that he doesn't really look at porn. I know a lot of guys out there will disagree but it would be a long story to explain why I believe this and I don't feel like going into it here. Star, I want to say first and foremost that I think you are a fantastic woman with a good heart and that your BF is lucky to be with you! My biggest concern is not the fact that you are modeling the clothes for other people to see. I think that is Ok in and of itself, which is what I think your BF was trying to say too. The issue I would have with it is that your using this as emotional validation of your attractiveness. It suggests that in order to feel good about your body you need more positive reinforcement than just your BF. In essence it devalues him, and that is where I was making the connection to porn usage. Using porn devalues your partner in that your showing that he/she is not enough sexually... that you need outside stimulation. The same goes for needing attention/validation for your physical appearance. It's not just a male female thing... this applies equally to both genders. Anyway... that's just my thought on it. I think D-Lish is correct anyway... modeling the clothes may give the impression they are used. Who wants used lingerie or swimsuits?
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 It sounds a whole lot like suggesting she shouldn't do things that make her feel good unless her BF approves. Um... maybe I didn't word that correctly because you missed the point. And... No I don't typically have that type of tone. I'm usually strongest in my first post and then as I get a better understanding of the situation adapt my advice to fit. See this whole thing is a control issue for you. Which is why your way off base. The guy clearly isn't trying to control her... he did not forbid her to do this. He is establishing boundaries based on what he is comfortable with. Are you trying to say he does not have a right to do that?
Author star_light13 Posted August 4, 2010 Author Posted August 4, 2010 So many things to reply to... I appreciate all views. In re: to the add on ebay that you wondered if it was me....I looked at the link and there is no way I'd do anything that suggestive! Really the items I modeled were very modest(like a vintage slip and a romper which I wore bra and underwear under both of them so nothing revealing was showing)...and as I said...I don't have them posted anymore because I didn't want my BF to be uncomfortable. I didn't show cleavage or pose in suggestive ways or anything. I also make sure to never wear anything that is too small or that I would stretch out at all. And anything I modeled I always wore undergarments underneath as I was just giving an idea of the fit. In re: to doing it for validation. I mean...I guess I felt good about myself that I must have felt confident to do it...nothing I would have done in the past. But that was a by-product of doing it. I really started doing it cause I noticed some sellers had more bids when they modeled their items and I really use ebay as a source of income so I wanted to do what I could to increase sales. Kind of like how a professional model w/ a peice of clothing on might make someone more inclined to buying it. I hear the issue re: lingerie and not wanting to buy something someone wore. I never modeled underwear or anything like that. I understand where my BF is coming from. I believe him about porn...although I never asked him not to look at it...he is just the kind of guy that doesn't look at it. Obviously as he said he can't stop me but I love him as well so I want to compromise. Say..maybe model modest swimwear but no lingerie/slips, etc. Thanks so much for the good discussion. It really does help me a lot. Sincerely, star
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I understand where my BF is coming from. I believe him about porn...although I never asked him not to look at it...he is just the kind of guy that doesn't look at it. Obviously as he said he can't stop me but I love him as well so I want to compromise. Say..maybe model modest swimwear but no lingerie/slips, etc. Thanks so much for the good discussion. It really does help me a lot. Sincerely, star I think maybe a good compromise would be finding someone willing to model the clothes for you. That's what designers do. I know probably 10 qualified women that would do it for free cause it's fun. I would bet you do as well. Any way you work it, I get the feeling that you and your BF respect one another, so I think everything will work out in the end.
Author star_light13 Posted August 4, 2010 Author Posted August 4, 2010 Yes, we do respect eachother very much and I know we'll work it out somehow. I know even he feels glad that even if we have issues...we can talk them out together until we both feel good about things. When you say you know 10 qualified women who would model cause it is fun....I guess that is where I was coming from. I had the stuff to sell on ebay and I didn't know anyone at the time to model them...so I was just having fun doing it. Kind of like a kid playing dress up. I know I used to enjoy that when I was little. I guess I did it without thinking of the consequences...which I feel bad about it. Sometimes I wish my BF was the kind of guy who'd be fine with it...but then I suppose he wouldn't be who he is and I love him. I'll keep you updated and thanks again for all the different perspectives. sincerely, star
Jilly Bean Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 That's because the mannie is a more professional way to sell the product. There is a certain kind of "buyer" that would be attracted to buying used panties... I agree with D-Lish. If you are modeling a SAMPLE of the swimwear and lingerie, that's fine. But, I would never buy the actual items from someone who is actually modeling them. Not when it's panties and swimwear. As for the larger issue, I have never had a BF who was comfortable with me doing any kind of "modeling", even when it amounted to a gift for them. A few years ago, I did a tasteful, art nude calendar for a BF as a gift. It came out great, and I was really pleased. His first question after flipping through it? "So, you were naked for this guy?". And this isn't the first time this kind of thing has gotten me in trouble with a BF. Probably because I do take my clothes off a lot. lol But, I think SOME guys are the accepting type, but seem to be more the exception than the rule. I think a lot of guys become very insecure when their GF is revealing too much, in their opinion, as they think she will then attract more men, which is threatening to them. So, for both reasons, if your case, I think you should use a mannequin. For hygiene of the items, and for preservation of your man's ego and feelings.
stillafool Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 This is a great example of what I see on LS so often and it's so shameful and unnecessary. You are responding to a new member. This is her first post and you are basically insinuating that she is too large for the items she is modeling. You don't know her size and you don't know the size of the clothes she is modeling. There is nothing in this thread that would suggest she is "stretching" out the clothes. If you read this thread, you would know that she is feeling confident about her body/size for the first time in her life after suffering from eating disorders for years. So why would you want to take that good feeling away from her? Who does that? What are YOU talking about? I don't care if she weighs 20lbs, I don't want someone in the garment. I know people try things on in stores before you buy them but I don't want to see it. I'm not referring to weight, I am referring to cleanliness. Geesh! Maybe you should reread my posts!
txsilkysmoothe Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 What are YOU talking about? I don't care if she weighs 20lbs, I don't want someone in the garment. I know people try things on in stores before you buy them but I don't want to see it. I'm not referring to weight, I am referring to cleanliness. Geesh! Maybe you should reread my posts! I'm talking about your (2) previous posts (below) that imply she is stretching the clothes by modeling them and squeezing herself into them. Generally when a person puts on clothes that fit, there is no squeezing or stretching. So you must mean the clothes are too small for her. But if you say these quotes refer to cleanliness, fine... I don't like the items being stretched out of shape. What does this mean? When I see someone squeezing themselves into an item of clothing for sale. The garment looks stretched to me and I don't want it.
D-Lish Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I'm talking about your (2) previous posts (below) that imply she is stretching the clothes by modeling them and squeezing herself into them. Generally when a person puts on clothes that fit, there is no squeezing or stretching. So you must mean the clothes are too small for her. But if you say these quotes refer to cleanliness, fine... I reread both the posts- and didn't get that impression at all. I got the impression that she was referring to what the rest of us were (hygiene).
txsilkysmoothe Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 What does describing someone as "squeezing themselves into an item" and "stretched out of shape" have to do with hygiene? I don't think you would choose these words (and you didn't) in addressing a woman who has suffered from eating disorders for years and is finally feeling good about herself. If not deliberate, it's insensitive.
Jilly Bean Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 What does describing someone as "squeezing themselves into an item" and "stretched out of shape" have to do with hygiene? I don't think you would choose these words (and you didn't) in addressing a woman who has suffered from eating disorders for years and is finally feeling good about herself. If not deliberate, it's insensitive. Im not sure why you're making such an issue out of this, particularly since the poster already clarified her intent. Even a rail thin person stretches out garments, particularly if it has an elasticized band, like in lingerie or swimwear. I think you're stirring up drama where none exists.
Hot Carl Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 ...I could have the face cut off so keep anonimity. Sounds a little drastic. Can't you just crop the pictures?
D-Lish Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 What does describing someone as "squeezing themselves into an item" and "stretched out of shape" have to do with hygiene? I don't think you would choose these words (and you didn't) in addressing a woman who has suffered from eating disorders for years and is finally feeling good about herself. If not deliberate, it's insensitive. It's conjuring up an image of being gross! No one wants to buy used garments that have been pressed up against someone's sweaty body- it's ew. That's the impression I got. Besides, the op maintained she is small in her first post. I don't know why you're getting so bent out of shape about the post or the intent of the poster. I didn't get the same impression.
txsilkysmoothe Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 (edited) Dlish - All used garments have been pressed up against someone's sweaty body, maybe several someones. That's the risk one takes in buying used clothing. A size 4 woman cannot stretch out size 10 clothes nor would she have to squeeze into them. So in what instance would those descriptions be appropriate? Only when the woman is too large for the clothes. I'm not getting bent out of shape. I don't have to share your impression. And I'm free to post an opinion that differs. I viewed "stillafools" remark as catty. Rather than getting bent out of shape, I asked for clarification and she responded with the terms "squeezing and stretching" with no mention of cleanliness or how those phrases relate to cleanliness. That further formed my opinion that she was referencing the OP's size. Jillybean - I'm not making an issue of it. Is responding to those who are addressing me making an issue of it? When does one person stating their opinion become "bent out of shape, making an issue of it, or creating drama?" When it doesn't agree with someone elses? Who gets to make that call? And I would never deliberately stir up drama - I resent the implication. What would I get out of that? I feel I'm being sensitive to the possibility that the OP could be hurt by these remarks given her disorder. She's new to LS and doesn't know how candid responses can be, doesn't know about people who always post sarcastically, etc. I think LS is suppose to be about supporting people in need and if responses don't do that, it bothers me. I've seen so much crap like this that I would never post my problems on this site. Just about had enough to never return. Edited August 5, 2010 by txsilkysmoothe
Jilly Bean Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I don't know why you're getting so bent out of shape about the post or the intent of the poster. I didn't get the same impression. I don't either! She created this drama, the OP never commented on it nor seemed to even notice it, the poster explained her intention, yet she's still perpetuating this over and over and remanifesting it. Wait, D - maybe we are too by questioning her on her motives. OK, let's stop. *shrugs* ( )
D-Lish Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I don't either! She created this drama, the OP never commented on it nor seemed to even notice it, the poster explained her intention, yet she's still perpetuating this over and over and remanifesting it. Wait, D - maybe we are too by questioning her on her motives. OK, let's stop. *shrugs* ( ) Ah Jilly... I dunno, I saw the comments as relating to a hygiene issue. Has said poster been outspoken about weight in other posts, that would lead us to believe that she is a weight snob? I haven't checked, I have to admit. I only focused on the op, and felt that her need to post her own pic in the clothe's was indicative of attention seeking behaviour.
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