Does this seem weird for a friend to do?

[slownumbers81]

Does this seem weird for a friend to do? My friend has been texting me a lot lately asking if I am okay. I recently am going through a breakup, I tell her I am doing okay though and fine. She texted again last night asking if I wanted to hang out tonight and if I was doing okay. I said yes I was fine and no and that I was probably just heading home after work. So then, she emailed me this morning and asked what I was up to this week and if I wanted to get together. I didn't write back and so she texted later in the evening asking if I was okay. I didn't have my phone on me and she called an hour later then left a voicemail asking if I was okay since she hadn't heard from me. Then when I finally got home later that night she happened to be walking past my front door (which she does have to go through to get to the store). It seemed weird though.

 

Does this seem weird and/or excessive or is it just me? I'm starting to feel a little creeped out by it to be honest, but just wondering if I'm over analyzing.

[Ronni_W]

It's tough to tell just from reading about it, but it does sound a bit excessive to me, too.

 

You can let her know that you REALLY appreciate her extra caring and concern through your break-up but you are doing okay and need her to trust you on that. Also, that you most definitely will let her know if/when you do need to talk or hang-out but for now you just are doing your healing in the way that feels best for you.

 

Another option to consider is that maybe you haven't been showing enough caring and concern for her, and she is missing you and your friendship but doesn't know how to bring it up with you?

 

I get that you're going through a break-up but, as you say, you're doing fine. Maybe it's time to ask her how she is doing, and if there is anything for which she needs your support and/or encouragement?

[carhill]

Has this friend been with you through the other breakups you've talked about in past threads? Was she ever 'more' than a friend in the romantic sense?

[EHS]

I would need more information about this friend before giving you any insights.

 

It sounds like she is romantically interested... did you all have a "thing" previously?

[and.then.some]

If it seems weird to you, then I'll assume that the two of you aren't that close or that you just don't have that type of friendship. I honestly wouldn't make anything of it, but if it's making you uneasy take Ronni's advice -- it's a pretty good post.

 

Could it be that you're a little sensitive over the break up and simply annoyed by someone asking how you're doing so often? I did this to a friend once, but over a death, because I was extremely worried about his safety. I didn't know what else I could do, but I felt like I needed to do something to help. Calling every day saying "are you okay", in retrospect, probably wasn't the most helpful thing I could have done, but it was all I could come up with.

[atlnay]

You said you were okay, but has your behavior changed? Like are you keeping to yourself more? Not eating as much or as talkative as she knows you to be?

 

It sounds like it could be concern and when you didn't write back, plus not respond to the VM and she wouldn't know about you not having your phone, maybe led her to your door?

 

More information if needed, but on face value? I see concern. Firmly reassure her and let her know you need some alone time, you'll call her for lunch soon. If she persists after that, I'd call her weird.

 

Does this seem weird for a friend to do? My friend has been texting me a lot lately asking if I am okay. I recently am going through a breakup, I tell her I am doing okay though and fine. She texted again last night asking if I wanted to hang out tonight and if I was doing okay. I said yes I was fine and no and that I was probably just heading home after work. So then, she emailed me this morning and asked what I was up to this week and if I wanted to get together. I didn't write back and so she texted later in the evening asking if I was okay. I didn't have my phone on me and she called an hour later then left a voicemail asking if I was okay since she hadn't heard from me. Then when I finally got home later that night she happened to be walking past my front door (which she does have to go through to get to the store). It seemed weird though.

 

Does this seem weird and/or excessive or is it just me? I'm starting to feel a little creeped out by it to be honest, but just wondering if I'm over analyzing.

[Kem]

I don't know if you're a guy or a girl because the possibilities differ.

 

I'm a girl. I had a friend who broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years during the cold winter months around the holidays. I wanted to be a good friend to let her know that I was there. I just wanted to help her heal. In addition, winter breakups are a lot harder than summer ones.

 

I called and texted her. Maybe too much. I felt like she was avoiding me.

 

You never know how you can come off to people or how they choose to interpret things.