LovelyDaze Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Stay off of there. Unless you like digging the knife in your heart even deeper. What is the reason some of you still look at your ex's statuses?
Username37 Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I use to check my ex's facebook all the time Found out she befriended a lot of guys. Made me wonder "which one of them did she hook up with?" or "which one is a potential boyfriend?" She later restricted profiled me (haven't spoken to her and it was out of the blue) What's dumb is we have about 137 mutual friends so whatever crap she's hiding from me is eventually gonna go to me. According to a friend, she had a status recently that was directed at me. Bleh Facebook is so dramatic sometimes. I'm staying away
skydiveaddict Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Facebook is poison when you're trying to get over someone. never ever look
maria gostrey Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 i look at them because i am hoping to get some kind of closure. he "broke up" with me by disappearing on me after 4 years of being with me. i am lost and confused and broken hearted. i keep close tabs on his moves hoping to glimpse and understand his motives.
skydiveaddict Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 i look at them because i am hoping to get some kind of closure. he "broke up" with me by disappearing on me after 4 years of being with me. i am lost and confused and broken hearted. i keep close tabs on his moves hoping to glimpse and understand his motives. DONT DO THAT It is no way to get closure You are just twisting the knife in your heart. Aren't you heartbroken enough already?
maria gostrey Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 DONT DO THAT It is no way to get closure You are just twisting the knife in your heart. Aren't you heartbroken enough already? i am, i know. i hurt so so much. he has a new gf. i dunno how/when it got started and now he has a brand new awesome life where they keep on going to trips together. i'm so jealous and feel pathetic in comparison. not only did he dump me, but did so, i have now understood, because he found someone else. i don't know how to get past that so i'm stuck in this loop where i keep looking at his and her fb to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
Beeotch Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Stay off of there. Unless you like digging the knife in your heart even deeper. What is the reason some of you still look at your ex's statuses? Im pretty sure it is one of those irrational impulses... People know it is not wise but they just can't help it...untilt hey make a final resolve and muster up the will power not to.
skydiveaddict Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I know how you feel Maria, I'm going through the same thing. So don't torture yourself anymore with fb. I wish you well. Someday we will both get through this
Author LovelyDaze Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 (edited) skydiveaddict has it right. Don't torture yourself. It's not healthy. Start with baby steps. Stay off his page for one day. You will feel so proud of yourself and be able to challenge yourself further. After that if you just HAVE to(and you really don't) look. Do so, then will yourself to stay off of his page for three to four days. See if you feel like looking then. Whether you get weak and look after that, keep yourself off for a week. Continue to stretch the time further and further. Give your dignity and self respect a chance, Maria. Your ex isn't even in your physical life anymore yet he has a stranglehold on your mind and emotions. He doesn't deserve to have that kind of power...TAKE IT BACK! Edited August 3, 2010 by LovelyDaze
Wings Of Love Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I don't. Not anymore. I used to check it religiously, only to get hurt time and time again. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore, so I blocked him. That was more than a year ago now. Now I can't even stumble upon anything he's posted, so I'm more comfortable on facebook now. The funny thing is, he left me, but he created a second facebook account to keep an eye on me. So apparently he's seen everything I've posted anyway. I find it weird.
Author LovelyDaze Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 but he created a second facebook account to keep an eye on me. So apparently he's seen everything I've posted anyway. I find it weird. I'd block him from the 2nd account. That way, he knows you are serious about keeping your dignity and self respect. Most exes want you to look at their Facebook page as a way of keeping you hanging on by a thread for them. It's an ego boost...nothing more.
Lost Fish Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I am (finally) in complete NC with my ex. However, neither of us have taken the step to block the other on FB. I have checked her page a few times and seen some questionable statuses that were most likely directed at me. But I know if I saw that she was in a new relationship or whatever, I'd be devastated. To make things more complicated a beautiful girl I worked with 6 years ago recently came back into my life and I asked her to lunch this week and she accepted! And now she's posted some stuff on MY wall... oh the complications. Anyway - I did hide all updates in my own news feed about my Ex. I do hope to be friends with her someday, but I know right now I need to go NC for at least 60 days. Until I know I'd be ok knowing she's with the next poor bastard, lol... But I agree with the others: DON'T LOOK AT THEIR FACEBOOK UNLESS YOU LIKE SLIPPING BACKWARDS IN YOUR HEALING!
106rob Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 i hate facebook right now i kept checking hers all the time,now its less but i still do every couple of days dont know why i just cant help it i have blocked all her feeds etc so i cant stumble across them,unless she posts on a mutual friends wall or somthing the post will still come up in her name etc
SnowAngel3 Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Right after we broke up, he put up "Friendship, Dating" in his "Looking for:" section. It was too painful for me to see that , so I deleted him from my friends list. I'm glad we both set everything to friends only, so now I can't see anything about him.
JamesB Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Facebook is a nightmare when your trying to get over someone. My ex left me for someone else, just before she blocked me she deleted everything I had ever wrote on her wall and the added her new guy as a friend. It was really painfull to see that. Then they started writing on each others wall really flirting openly which was unbearable. I'm glad she blocked me in the end. I took the step of deleting my account and making a new one which I only have my friends on and family. I can still see his profile tho as he has it completely open for everybody to see so it's a struggle to stop looking at that. everytime I do it's like a knife in the heart! The most painfull thing tho is she never wanted us to put our relationship satatus on facebook but she's done it with this new guy!
Author LovelyDaze Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 Facebook is a nightmare when your trying to get over someone. My ex left me for someone else, just before she blocked me she deleted everything I had ever wrote on her wall and the added her new guy as a friend. It was really painfull to see that. Then they started writing on each others wall really flirting openly which was unbearable. I'm glad she blocked me in the end. I took the step of deleting my account and making a new one which I only have my friends on and family. I can still see his profile tho as he has it completely open for everybody to see so it's a struggle to stop looking at that. everytime I do it's like a knife in the heart! The most painfull thing tho is she never wanted us to put our relationship satatus on facebook but she's done it with this new guy! That is horrid. There is some joke I heard where a patient is in his doctor's office and says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do that!" Then the doctor replies, "Well, STOP doing that!!" Makes sense. I learned the hard way myself. I stopped looking at my ex's FB shortly after he left me. It was way to painful to see the "smiling words." But remember, not everything on FB is bible. Facebook is a way to bulls*** your way of fluffing up your life to make it sunnier, funner, better, more exciting than others. Just think of your ex's new guy. This may be true or not but think of the guy leaving his FB open as a way of showing off. Don't feed into his obnoxious gloating. Stay off of his FB. You CAN help it. Try it for a day and then a few days, then a whole week. You won't give a damn about either one of them in due time. Just the way it should be.
stillafool Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Stay off of there. Unless you like digging the knife in your heart even deeper. What is the reason some of you still look at your ex's statuses? I completely agree. Why do some people want to make their wounds deeper?
stillafool Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 i look at them because i am hoping to get some kind of closure. he "broke up" with me by disappearing on me after 4 years of being with me. i am lost and confused and broken hearted. i keep close tabs on his moves hoping to glimpse and understand his motives. Knowing his every move isn't going to give you "CLOSURE". You have to make your own closure by closing the door on your relationship and moving on. You already know he has moved on and watching his moves is going to keep your wounds w-i-d-e open. You have to let him go.
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