Butchannon Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 My GF cheated on me. One of the reasons to reconcile with her is also my access to my child. If we won't reconcile I could only see my daughter every second weekend. But she is not in hurry with reconciliation, she wants to graduate firstly. She knows she is in better position because she has a child and it would be hard for me to get my child for some more time so I think she takes advantage of me. How much of you have reconciled because of better access to your children and do you find it as a good reason for reconcile?
bentnotbroken Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Seek legal counsel. If you have been involved in your child's life, there is no reason for you not to continue that relationship despite not being with the child's mother.
norajane Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Why can't you get joint custody, where you both have equal time? Have you spoken to a lawyer to find out your rights? Don't try to reconcile with a cheater just for your kid. Your daughter will know things are crap between you, because a crappy relationship WILL affect everything in the home - including her.
Author Butchannon Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 I know I can contnue that relationship with my kid but father usually only get every second weekend with his child. I found it too little to actively raise your child. I want to be child's father 24/7. I really miss her.
Author Butchannon Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 Why can't you get joint custody, where you both have equal time? Have you spoken to a lawyer to find out your rights? Don't try to reconcile with a cheater just for your kid. Your daughter will know things are crap between you, because a crappy relationship WILL affect everything in the home - including her. Joint custody is a very rare option in our country. Most often father only get every second weekend. I only had got every Saturday for 8 hours at her place.
mansquito Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Depends on your jurisdiction, etc, but it may be worth filing an appeal to the custody order. It's probably worth talking to a handful of lawyers. No need to hire the first one you talk to - ask for a consultation to be paid for upon retaining their services, and explain your case. They're better equipped than anybody else to tell you what your prospects are.
Case O'Bier Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 At one time I stayed with my xW to keep access to my child. At the time, I hadn't cheated, but she had many times. She used our girl to get at me... trying to make me stay apparently so that she can continue to run me in the ground. Even after I was able to get a restraining order against her, temporary full custody of our daughter, having her arrested for aggravated assault and breaking the restraining order, the best I got was equal time and a crapload of child support. I eventually took her back cause I felt defeated along with about to go bankrupt. we managed to stay together for 3 more years until I started an affair and got caught. The first experience scared her so we were able to work out equal custody and visitation. Still pay a $hitload of child support though... worth every dime!
piscis Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I am sure you know someone who is divorced or separated with children talk to them, talk to lawyeres and complle as much information as you can. The scenario of you having to stay with a person you do not want to be for the rest of your life is so sad for the three involved, because belive me as time goes by there will be boredom on you and on her and the enviroment of that R in relation with your child won't be good. Get informed and just after considering several options make a decision. Good luck
califnan Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Joint custody is a very rare option in our country. Most often father only get every second weekend. I only had got every Saturday for 8 hours at her place. ------------------ If you and your spouse agree, you could see your child every weekend. Still there is no substitue for living With your child, to wake each morning with her in the same house, and to come home to her each evening.
LSNoob Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 (edited) OP why do I picture you a 27yo old virgin who never talked to a girl before, and when the filthiest of the filthy wh0res in town ( who is 4 years younger than you) shows interest in you, you straight away propose to her (you said in one of your posts that you were engaged? or was that only on FB?) then let her move in with you, and then have a kid. Am I right? That girl keeps you hooked by giving you pu$$y. And you keep falling for it like a fool. You are laying down being a doormat and she is just walking all over you. Time for you to stand up for yourself and man up. Are you fantasizing about you being some warrior from lord of the rings trying to save his wife and daughter and save his family?? Then my friend I think you need to change the angle you looking at the picture from. What really happened/happening/going to happen is. You never had a gf before and you thought no body likes you. When that low life gave you a taste of pu$$y you became her little puppy. She then tricked you in having a baby with you so she get money off you for 18years. Now she trying to use you even more until she graduates. By the time she graduates she will keep banging a new man everyday until she finds a real man and tosses you out and just gets you to pay her for child support. Of course her new man will be looking after her finance, so she will use your money to buy her girly things...:lmao: ahahahahahahah. Then you will be in a pub with your friends crying and telling them "can't believe I fell for that wh0re... can't believe she did this to me ", when in reality, she wasn't the one who tricked you, but rather, you are just that stupid, gullible and naive. Your daughter is in need of a father and in order for you to be a father, you must be a man first. Man up, clean your mess and sort your life out. Wish you luck. Edited April 3, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Ellin Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I really feel for you, because I would do anything to be in my children's lives 24/7. I'm not a man so I know my babies will be with me whatever happens and I can appreciate how difficult it is for fathers when the R is in trouble. If I was in a situation that my children were to stay with their father in case of our split, I would not leave, not for an AP and not in case he cheated. Sorry if I'm not very helpful here.
Dexter Morgan Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 well thats the part that sucks Butch. Women will get custody no matter how much of a low life they might be, even being a cheating huss doesn't disqualify someone to raise a child. A judge doesn't care if the unscrupulous raise a child. It has to be something like drug abuse or physical violence that gets a father custody. My attorney told me my X could have screwed another man in my bed, videotaped it, sent it to my parents and it still wouldn't be enough to get custody. And I had the most ruthless divorce attorney you could lay eyes on sucks, I know. so your choices are: 1) ditch the b!tch, see your kids every other weekend and a night or two during the week, 2 to 4 full weeks in the summer for vacation, etc. or 2) stay with the hussbag, gain access to your child every day, but live with the fact you are settling for staying with a ho that is taking advantage of her situation to tell you she doesn't want to reconcile so she can keep on spreading her legs for other guys. which do you choose? freedom and still able to see your child nearly half the time? Or seeing your chilld all the time while resisting the urge to vomit at the sight of your big C of a so-called girlfriend?
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