soleharmony1123 Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 My ex has been calling almost daily now (I halted NC because he's been showing positive signs of possible reconciliation). He had to call me back because we were both having trouble hearing each other because of the background noise. Before we got off the phone, he asked me what my schedule was like this week. I said I didn't have too much lined up this week because I needed a break. Then he asked "so you have no appointments in DC this week?" I said "no, at least none scheduled." His response "well, that's too bad." Anyway, when he called me back, he asked me if he had my undivided attention. I asked if he needed it. He laughed and said he wouldn't have asked. I said in that case I guess it was safe to say he did. So, he asked me what am I doing this week. I said I had no definite plans as of yet - except my class, and that I was just trying to have a relatively quiet week with all that's been going on. So, he said, "well, let me put this another way...when can I come see you? I said "whenever you decide you want to come up to visit, let me know." Then he responded, "ah, still too vague, so let's try this one more time...when as in how soon can I come see you? I told him sometime next week would be okay. So he asked "do you mean Saturday or Sunday?" I laughed and said Saturday would be okay. I'm a bit relieved that I didn't go off on him yesterday when he called for help with a blasted job application lol! My head was banging, but instead I just pretended to be tired and needed rest. Today, he clarified that he just wants me to show him how to attach the resume to the online job application so he can fill out applications himself (now that's more like it). (He's looking for a 2nd job with the one he has). Maybe we're on the eve of progress...
lunita Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Thanks for the update!!! Best of luck. Do not discuss your relationship in the past and what went wrong. Look hot and be the fun easy going girl that you are...but don't forget to set your boundaries. Thanks for the update and let us know how it goes again. Things are progressing with my ex. We are talking a lot and seeing each other at least once a week. He's super busy doing renos and had to cancel a date but I decided to step up and bring him dinner after a hard days work. He was so grateful. I dropped it off and left. The next day I asked if it was ok that I just showed up to do that and he said of course. I'm really enjoying my time with him and him with me. He is cuddly and sweet. No sex of course...not until he tells me straight up that we are back together. So I know that the time we spend is because he's really trying to see if we can work this out and not cuz he's getting some. I remain hopeful all will work out. So far so good. Good luck!
Don Ho Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 You might be on the eve of progress if you keep your cards close. In my opinion, you were giving in a little too much and not being enough of a challenge. You should have told him you were busy with friends, meeting "a friend" for dinner and doing things. You sounded too available. I like how he tries to get you to commit to a date or ask him out when he should be the one chasing you since he is the Ex trying to get you back. And he tries to close you like a salesman: "which is better Sat or Sun"? Too funny. I would have stuck to txt messages and not answered your phone. That would have given you a better chance to ignore him and let him chase you and let HIM say "I want to take you out Sat". Be a little more coy and unavailable, girl! When you see him, be a little more vague and let him play HIS cards.
Author soleharmony1123 Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 You might be on the eve of progress if you keep your cards close. In my opinion, you were giving in a little too much and not being enough of a challenge. You should have told him you were busy with friends, meeting "a friend" for dinner and doing things. You sounded too available. I like how he tries to get you to commit to a date or ask him out when he should be the one chasing you since he is the Ex trying to get you back. And he tries to close you like a salesman: "which is better Sat or Sun"? Too funny. I would have stuck to txt messages and not answered your phone. That would have given you a better chance to ignore him and let him chase you and let HIM say "I want to take you out Sat". Be a little more coy and unavailable, girl! When you see him, be a little more vague and let him play HIS cards. LOL! I know what you're saying, but I got this far because I've been distant, coy and unavailable enough for quite some time. We've already had our first lunch date, so I'd say there may be slow progress. After awhile, it seems like game-playing. As far as the chase goes - he's there. I'm not pursuing him - he's calling me (also part of the game of pursuit). He approached me about the first date - lunch. And he's pursuing by asking to come see me. I told him I was relaxing this week because (as he KNOWS) for the past month, I've been out of town between NY and Pennsylvania on the weekends. So "busy" is an understatement - he knows I've been on the GO!
lunita Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Don, I agree with you to a point. I think that after she rings him in, she can play a little hard to get. Having said that, never tell an ex who dumped you that you aren't that busy. LOL. Either way good luck!!!
Author soleharmony1123 Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 Thanks for the update!!! Best of luck. Do not discuss your relationship in the past and what went wrong. Look hot and be the fun easy going girl that you are...but don't forget to set your boundaries. Thanks for the update and let us know how it goes again. Things are progressing with my ex. We are talking a lot and seeing each other at least once a week. He's super busy doing renos and had to cancel a date but I decided to step up and bring him dinner after a hard days work. He was so grateful. I dropped it off and left. The next day I asked if it was ok that I just showed up to do that and he said of course. I'm really enjoying my time with him and him with me. He is cuddly and sweet. No sex of course...not until he tells me straight up that we are back together. So I know that the time we spend is because he's really trying to see if we can work this out and not cuz he's getting some. I remain hopeful all will work out. So far so good. Good luck! Lunita, that sounds great! I'm glad you're progressing in your relationship. That was sweet of you to make dinner and deliver it to him. Creating scarcity by not lingering after you dropped off dinner was a smart move also. I hope everything works out. Keep me posted! -Sole
Don Ho Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Hey Sole. Good for you. The way it was written it appeared you were not being much of a challenge, hopefully you have been doing what you said. And yes, it is game playing ..... all in the game of love. And who ever said "playing games" is bad?? Ridiculous. It's just part of the dating ritual .... and long term relationship ritual. I've learned that the hard way. If you think you're going to not have to play games, be a challenge, and be unavailable sometimes in the long term with him, just let me know when you guys break up and I think I can tell you why! LOL
Author soleharmony1123 Posted August 4, 2010 Author Posted August 4, 2010 (edited) Hey Sole. Good for you. The way it was written it appeared you were not being much of a challenge, hopefully you have been doing what you said. And yes, it is game playing ..... all in the game of love. And who ever said "playing games" is bad?? Ridiculous. It's just part of the dating ritual .... and long term relationship ritual. I've learned that the hard way. If you think you're going to not have to play games, be a challenge, and be unavailable sometimes in the long term with him, just let me know when you guys break up and I think I can tell you why! LOL DonHo, that's not what I meant about playing games. I never said playing games was bad. I agree that it adds mystery and fun to relationships - that's something we've always had in both our friendship and then our relationship. What I said was I preferred not to play them at this point. My ex has been chasing all this time, he's now pursuing - stepping up his game a bit. I'm confident I'm more than enough of a challenge for him. At this point, I feel lying and saying I'm out painting the town when I'm crashed at home from busy weekends he already knows about is a waste of strategy. Last week, as I was on my way home almost 40-something miles from where he works, I sent him a text telling him to step outside for part 2 of "the kiss." He called me back immediately asking if I meant to send that to him or was it intended for someone else. I said "ooopps!" for effect...he went silent and then I started laughing. He asked me if I was on my way. I said, "baby, I'm at BWI Airport, halfway home!" Yesterday he wanted to know "do you have any appointments downtown this week? (where he works) When I said I didn't - his response was "hmm...that's too bad." I know he was thinking about that kiss he missed last week! lol! He gets home from work fairly late in the evenings - around 9:30 pm. He was supposed to call me when he got home because he just wanted to talk. He fell asleep. So when he asked me this evening if he could call me tonight, I told him I had him "slated in" last night, but that for tonight plans were up in the air and I may/may not be around to take his call. He was like "oh, and where might you be tonight when I call?" I'm a Sagittarian - we created the game. LOL!!! Edited August 4, 2010 by soleharmony1123
Don Ho Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 LOL. Now I get what you're really doin! Good job. That's some funny stuff you're giving him!
Author soleharmony1123 Posted August 4, 2010 Author Posted August 4, 2010 LOL. Now I get what you're really doin! Good job. That's some funny stuff you're giving him! The fun and "games" starts once I've determined whether working toward reconciliation is on his mind. That's when the games are on! No use exerting all that energy for someone who's lukewarm or is just plain wasting my time.
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