love_confusion Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I know this shouldn't bother me, but it does. Why does my ex insist on playing games with me considering we broke up a year and a half ago. I initiated the break up because I thought that's what he wanted. He stood me up on our last 2 dates and I just figured he wanted to end it, so I did it for him. He never tried to stop me, and basically said "okay." Very shortly after the break up I started to feel absolutely terrible for how I ended things. Tried everything in my power to prove I was sorry, apology after apology...it all did nothing. He blamed me for how everything ended and basically made me feel like crap. However, he assured me that we would stay friends. I tried it for a bit, but then told him I couldn't be friends because I still had feelings for him... Cut to now...it's been about a year of extremely sexual texts, messages, etc. He flirts all the time and when I show interest back (he knows I'd like to work things out with him), he cuts me off. It's like a vicious cycle. Over the past year, he'd say he wanted to see me and would ask to go out for coffee or whatever. However, when I'd text him to finalize plans, he'd never respond. Yet, not too long ago, he told me he's always here for me and he's glad we're still friends. Stupid me thought that maybe he's changed. Um...that's a big NO! I stopped initiating contact with him and he always comes back. We just recently went a whole month without any communication. Of course, he contacts me on the one month mark and asks if I'm interested in hanging out. So, I say yes....does he follow through? No. I get it...he doesn't want me back and never will. I also get that we're not friends. My question is why drag this out so long? I play a part in this because I respond to him all the time, but I can't ignore him because I still feel really bad about what happened between us and how I handled the situation. What does he possibly get out of this and why won't he ever follow though with seeing me in person? Really, what's the point of continually doing this to me? It can't be an ego boost because what kind of ego boost would he get from talking to a girl he's not even interested in?
YellowShark Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 He stood me up on our last 2 dates and I just figured he wanted to end it, so I did it for him....Of course, he contacts me on the one month mark and asks if I'm interested in hanging out. So, I say yes....does he follow through? No. FULL STOP. That is total disrespect. Doing it twice is an insult, and kick him to the curb and never look back. Don't worry about what he says or promises, his actions are what's really important. Tell this current loser to stop texting you immediately and go find a man who respects you and doesn't stand you up on dates.
cookie2 Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Firstly you should stop feeling bad. It was his unreliability that led to you dumping him, and his not even bothering to fight it just enforces that. Sounds like he didn't really care for you much at all. And if he didn't care then - why would he now? I would just forget him, either tell him not to bother you any more or just stop replying. Eventually he'll stop bothering.
bonpaw2008 Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Hey girl - I agree with the boys, total disrespect. He is just trying to set the hook, once he knows he snagged you he scurries away like a rat. Psychological games, so childish. You deserve so much better, ignore his ass....
Ilovecake Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 He is using you for an ego boost, he's doing it because you're letting him. Boys love toys and he's playing you so he can say 'watch what I can do'. This guy is having a great time at your expense. You just said you know he's not interested in you as a person so think about why you are encouraging him to treat you like that?
carhill Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 So, how's dating going? This one's done, and for a long time. Meet any new and healthier gentlemen?
spriggig Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I get it...he doesn't want me back and never will. I also get that we're not friends. Good. My question is why drag this out so long? Who cares? He's not your friend. I play a part in this because I respond to him all the time, but I can't ignore him because I still feel really bad about what happened between us and how I handled the situation. No, you like that he messes with you, you like the "mystery" and disrespect--you want this. You don't understand why, but you do. Just know that it's not a healthy thing to want. What does he possibly get out of this and why won't he ever follow though with seeing me in person? Really, what's the point of continually doing this to me? It can't be an ego boost because what kind of ego boost would he get from talking to a girl he's not even interested in? You're right, he's NOT INTERESTED IN YOU, not in a healthy way. You're better than this, you're worthy of a man who loves and respects you. Kick this loser to the curb. Go NC now--this very second.
Author love_confusion Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 Thanks for the responses, everyone. It does appear that he likes to play catch and release with me...he goes fishing, hooks me, and then throws me back. I just don't get why he would keep doing it. Surely, the amusement must've worn off by now. Oh well...I guess it doesn't matter at this point. I've held on to this for far too long. A part of me will always feel bad about the situation, but I know in my heart that I did everything to fix things between us and that's a lot more than I can say for him. As for the dating, as Carhill asked, been dating here and there, but nothing too exciting. It's difficult to maintain anything serious, or allow myself to fall for someone, when I'm still in contact with my ex.
LoveTruthChaos Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 It's difficult to maintain anything serious, or allow myself to fall for someone, when I'm still in contact with my ex. And that is why all contact with him has to stop. Why be second best to someone, when you can be someone else's everything?
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