whatadeer26 Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 This morning I deleted my ex of 2 months from Facebook for the second time in the two month period. The first was like week 1 and she friended me again about 2 weeks ago and I accepted. After the first time she texted me asking why I deleted her, so i explained how I wasn't over her and said regualr BS we shouldn't as the Dumpee. She basically called me immature after that. Well this time I also deleted her from my Blackberry Messanger. So, I got a text "WOW is there a reason y you deleted me from your FB and BBM like what is your problem" after not responding I got "?????????". Should I respond and if so with what? I want to say that something like this 1."I will not talk to you through text's, if you want to meet up we can, if not bye." or 2. "Why did you break up with me? When you finally explain what was wrong I'll explain" or "The same reason you refused to meet up with me to talk after we broke up." Any suggestions on what to say or should I leave it alone and not respond? I am about 90% sure she doesn't want to get back together.
EthanH Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 ok, i have a really simple question, and then I will try to reply to your post a s a whole: what do you want? Do you want her back or do you want to move on?
Author whatadeer26 Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 I'm not sure. I'm up and down. 1/2 the time I am 100% happy being single and casually dating the other 1/2 I miss her and want her back. If she said she wanted to give us a shot again I think I would. More background, She broke up with me a few days after her dad left her mom. I contacted her later when I found out they are going to go through with the divorce to see how she was and what not, i was drunk. She friended me again a few days after we talked.
EthanH Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I think you need to decide. Once you have decided that straight out, you can work out what to do. If you want to be with her, let her know this, if she likes you, it is up to her to get back to you and make the running as it was her who broke up with you. If you push things, she will just lose respect for you and things won't go well. If you decide you don't want to have anything to do with her, don't reply, as you shouldn't care. The thing is, she is being wrong about this. When someone breaks up with someone, that is it! she doesn't get to expect anything from you. She still expects to be able to be in contact with her and you owe her nothing. If she breaks up with you, she has to understand that for your own self preservation, you might decide you never want to speak to her again. She wants to have things both ways, and if you let her, she will choose that option, you need to make her make a choice.
Author whatadeer26 Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 Thanks for the reply E. I have tried a couple of times to get back with her and meet up. So, I don't think she would even if I tried. I have asked to meet up and talk. She told me should couldn't that night but maybe we could set something up. When I asked when she never answered the question only tried to switch the topic. I honestly think she is just mad she can't keep tabs on me anymore.
EthanH Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 you have to look at the way she probably sees things atm, she wants to meet other guys, play the field, but she also wants to have you as back-up whenever she needs you or she wants her ego massaged... and the problem is, you are letting her have that. If you cut her off, you will find it easier to move on, and if she comes back, because she realises how great you are, then it is you who has the choice of IF you want her...that is the way it should be, considering it was her who broke up with you. She has no right to ask anything of you, the fact that she feels she has that right shows that she hasn't really fully understood what breaking up with you means. Cut her off, she knows you like her, and it will be the best thing for both of you.
Author whatadeer26 Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 Exactly. She has initated contact with me 3 times since she broke up with me. 2 times when I deleted her from FB the other when she found out I was going on a vacation with friends to Mexico.
Rifareal Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Assess first of how you feel. If you still love her and wanted to give it a try again be sure that she also feels the same. Try to talk over things. If she said yes and wanted to be with you again i can't think why you guys won't give it a shot.
Author whatadeer26 Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 Things just got interesting. She called me- I didn't answer She texted me right after- Still didn't answer
Author whatadeer26 Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 Sorry, Her message was "Why are you ignorning me?"
EthanH Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 how is it interesting? if you are happy to play games with her, like all games there is a chance you could 'win' but you might also 'lose'. That she asks why you are ignoring her shows she doesn't really get this whole break-up thing, and you are at fault allowing her to play up to it. Just be straight with her. At least she will respect you for it if it comes to nothing else.
sbradford2 Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Everyone deserves to know why someone broke it off with them. She seems to be the childish one.
Author whatadeer26 Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 Since earlier she sent me 3 texts and 3 phone calls. 2 basically calling me immature (they were close together) and the third asking what she did? why am I ignoring her? If I would have known she would act like this i would have done it earlier. Could have saved me a month of grief. She is showing what a selfish self-centered person she is. It is reminding me of times during our relationship when I had thought about breaking up with her because of it. I may text her tomorrow and tell her the only way I will talk to her is in person. Still debating
DenverBachelor Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I may text her tomorrow and tell her the only way I will talk to her is in person. Still debating I wouldn't. Who gives a flying **** what she thinks about you and about your ignoring her. Just go out with friends, go to the movies and live your life and let her figure out just how scary life becomes without you. Sometimes people need a wake-up call. Don't play into her games by giving her the luxury of a reply.
Author whatadeer26 Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 I don't think I will answer her. One of her messages said "just when I thought you were being mature about the situation", so she has no intention of getting back together or working on things. She is acting like a spoiled little brat who doesn't get her way. Every text she sent has been about her. She will probably call and text again today when she wakes up. Her ex she had a 4 year relationship with still contacts her and tries to get back with her. So I guess she expects everyone to be like that. I made my attempt now it's time to fade into darkness. I'm not sure the specifics of her long relationship, but the more I read on this site I think I was a rebound.
Author whatadeer26 Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 She contacted one of my good friends to see if I am ok and what is wrong.
AlwaysConflicted Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I don't see anything wrong in responding to her text with something like: "If you'd like to have a serious conversation, I'm more than happy to meet up in person, but I don't want to chat over text/phone" or if you really have no desire for her to be in your life anymore then write something like: "Unfortunately things didn't work out between us, but it happens. I wish you the best, but I need to remain out of contact so I can heal. Thank you."
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