DenverBachelor Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 (edited) [This is a post related to ex's but a lot more than that -- read at your own risk. Feel free to disagree, add, subtract or just make a comment] I am currently writing a book based on my own experiences in life. Actually, I posted about this a while back, but the book is based on a lot of fictional tales based on actual experiences. Anyhow, please feel free to take what you will from this. The first think I want to say is that this post is a culmination of a lot of experiences I've had in life -- and many of those experiences have taken place in just the past year. But some of this is actually realizations brought about from suffering from loss and benefiting from chance -- the known, etc. Don't Take Life to Seriously What I mean by this is that, throughout my life, I've been fortunate enough to have a lot of experiences from various sources. One of the greatest pearls of wisdom that I've picked up from the journey is that, well, life is a journey. You're going to experience loss in so many forms. You'll lose family, friends, ex's and sometimes you'll lose yourself. But what you have to understand and realize is that when you do lose something, you're also gaining something -- and sometimes that realization comes after the fact. I know this message board is about love and, in this particular section, coping. Well, what exactly does "coping" mean? What does it mean to "cope" with life? Life will throw you some curve balls. It's never really announced, right? But many times, looking back at the experience, we really saw all along the writing on the wall. You see, instinct is an amazingly powerful intuitive force in our lives. So many times, we instinctively know what is happening, but we override those instincts with logic and/or our hearts. We will instinctively understand a situation but, at the same time, override that knowledge by applying analysis to the situation. It's always after the fact that we look back and say to ourselves, "you know, when he or she did this, I should have realized this or that." There are two things in life that move all things. The greatest forces that we will ever experience in our lives are fear and love. Those two things drive to many components of our lives. What we sometimes love with all our hearts are often mixed in components of fear. And all those things that we fear in life are often mixed with aspects of love. It's an interesting duality only because those two components are the yin and yang of existence. You'll lose a lot in life -- but every time we lose, we gain. As I said earlier, we're going to lose things in life, and it will be a constantly reoccurring experience. Part of growing older is being able to interpret and understand loss, and to integrate that loss with our life and future experience in a way that we gain from them. We'll lose best friends, family members -- and the hardest thing we'll lose -- the greatest loss of all -- will be those that we let into our hearts and accept as our second half. When we lose that, we feel a chip against our soul. We stand as a pillar of strength and light, and we want so much to give and accept love from others. And that special person we invite into our life -- that special person that we put inside our hearts ... well, when that person leaves in some way or another, we feel abandoned and alone. We feel a significant part of ourselves thrown back into the chaos that rules the universe along with order. And isn't that the interesting thing in our lives? We feel so much chaos and order in our lives. We invite order lovingly because it reminds us and shows us that this universe and life isn't just driven by chance. It shows us that there is some underlying purpose to thing. But then chaos rears its ugly head in our lives. When we lose a friend, a family member, and most unfortunately, someone we love dearly and someone we call a "partner in life." We cry and we hurt -- we feel immense pain. Chaos envelopes us and we're that kid again -- we're that kid when our mother or father took us to kindergarten for the first time while holding our hands and then let go and said, "I'll see you later." We didn't understand what "later" meant. The only thing we knew is that they left us with strangers in a strange land, and our heart broke and we were scared -- we were afraid. And time and time again, we find ourselves in that unfamiliar familiar place where we're alone and afraid. We never asked to come to that place, but life threw us there. We had no realization or familiarity with that place, but we were forced to become familiar with it. And when someone breaks up with us or we feel forced to break up with them, we're placed in that unfamiliar land again. The Sun Sets and the Sun Rises, but it never ceases to do so. Regardless of the fact that we have to suffer and deal with these unfamiliar places of abandonment, we do so because that is life and we must live it and understand each movement, each turn and each progression, no matter how difficult the journey or how strange the land in which we journey in. Never discount your own internal strength or ability to rebound from the worst life throws at you. You were brought into this world in a traumatic fashion that you do not remember and you will leave it alone as well. But remember that we are all social beings and, throughout the journey, you must always open your heart and arms to new experiences and people and learn from the brightest of lights and the darkest of alleys. You will be placed in both and, throughout your life, you will walk strange roads and sometimes you will walk alone and sometimes you will walk hand in hand with another. But whatever your belief in God or some greater purpose, you must realize that you are never truly alone so long as you keep your heart open to all things no matter how much the past has shattered your heart. Your greatest asset and strength is your ability to adapt to the many twists and turns that life throws at you. Never Discount an Experience No matter what you have done in your life or no matter how great a mistake you have made, all things that occur within your life have some great lesson to teach you. Each day that I lay my head down on the pillow before falling asleep, I ask myself, "What was the great experience of my day today?" What that means is that, from each day to the next, there is always some great experience to be had and some great lesson to be gained from that experience. It is up to you to have the patience to take in that experience and adapt it to your life. All lives are different and there are many roads within life, but the road you choose to take will be filled with lessons and life knowledge that is different from the roads other take -- no roads are wrong or right, but know that, in the big scheme of things, all roads DUE lead to Rome and that all of our collective experiences exist to teach us that, underneath all the opinions, wishes and dreams, we all wish to experience love, growth and knowledge that will enlighten us and push us towards growth and total enlightenment. I hope this helps some of you and I wish you all the best. Life is a long journey. None of us ever asked to be brought into existence, but nonetheless, here we are. We can only do what we think is best for our lives, but never neglect or disrespect new experiences or the paths of others. We all will fall down and get up -- we'll do it so many times in our lives that we'll wonder how or why we even took that first step -- but the million steps we take between the first and last are what makes us who we are, but we cannot discount the millions of steps that others have taken both before, during and after us. And remember this most of all -- you'll love and you'll hurt. You'll hate as well, but hatred is an emotion that robs us from the joy of experiencing new things and new people. Don't hate for too long -- you may hate for awhile because it is only human to do so -- but hatred in itself only serves to diminish from the love we can give tomorrow. So let go of it and learn to forgive. God's greatest gift was always forgiveness, so to forgive makes one godlike. Good luck. Edited August 2, 2010 by DenverBachelor
Beeotch Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 The Sun Sets and the Sun Rises, but it never ceases to do so. Regardless of the fact that we have to suffer and deal with these unfamiliar places of abandonment, we do so because that is life and we must live it and understand each movement, each turn and each progression, no matter how difficult the journey or how strange the land in which we journey in. Never discount your own internal strength or ability to rebound from the worst life throws at you. You were brought into this world in a traumatic fashion that you do not remember and you will leave it alone as well. But remember that we are all social beings and, throughout the journey, you must always open your heart and arms to new experiences and people and learn from the brightest of lights and the darkest of alleys. You will be placed in both and, throughout your life, you will walk strange roads and sometimes you will walk along and sometimes you will walk hand in hand with another. But whatever your belief in God or some greater purpose, you must realize that you are never truly alone so long as you keep your heart open to all things no matter how much the past has shattered your heart in the past. Your greatest asset and strength is your ability to adapt to the many twists and turns that life throws at you. Never Discount an Experience No matter what you have done in your life or no matter how great a mistake you have made, all things that occur within your life have some great lesson to teach you. Each day that I lay my head down on the pillow before falling asleep, I ask myself, "What was the great experience of my day today?" What that means is that, from each day to the next, there is always some great experience to be had and some great lesson to be gained from that experience. It is up to you to have the patience to take in that experience and adapt it to your life. All lives are different and there are many roads within life, but the road you choose to take will be filled with lessons and life knowledge that is different from the roads other take -- no roads are wrong or right, but know that, in the big scheme of things, all roads DUE lead to Rome and that all of our collective experiences exist to teach us that, underneath all the opinions, wishes and dreams, we all wish to experience love, growth and knowledge that will enlighten us and push us towards growth and total enlightenment. I hope this helps some of you and I wish you all the best. Life is a long journey. None of us ever asked to be brought into existence, but nonetheless, here we are. We can only do what we think is best for our lives, but never neglect or disrespect new experiences or the paths of others. We all will fall down and get up -- we'll do it so many times in our lives that we'll wonder how or why we even took that first step -- but the million steps we take between the first and last are what makes us who we are, but we cannot discount the millions of steps that others have taken both before, during and after us. And remember this most of all -- you'll love and you'll hurt. You'll hate as well, but hatred is an emotion that robs us from the joy of experiencing new things and new people. Don't hate for too long -- you may hate for awhile because it is only human to do so -- but hatred in itself only serves to diminish from the love we can give tomorrow. So let go of it and learn to forgive. God's greatest gift was always forgiveness, so to forgive makes one godlike. The whole thing was good, but I particularly resonated with these aspects I too plan to write a book about my life experiences but not just yet.... Those two aspect pretty much summed up some of the major premises and philosophies off of which I live my life. My break up a year ago was the beginning of a WONDERFUL journey in which I truly learned all these lessons and continue to learn and pursue life with so much more vigor. For me, if it were only about this person then it would have been a waste...but it has been so much more and that person only a catalyst for me to begin this new phase of the journey in my life. I in fact kept a journal and I could "feel" when I entered a new phase as I learned different things... Life is indeed a great journey and once you realize or believe that all experiences, disappointing, painful or joyful, are for a reason and you can learn and grow from them....it makes things a bit easier to bear. Let's face it: life is not easy but you can CHOOSE the philosophies to hold that will help you navigate it with more ease or you can wallow in the supposed unfairness of it all. Your choice
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