Disillusioned Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 My 1st date and I broke it off after the 1st meeting because we didn't have much in common. The next week, I landed my 2nd date. It doesn't bother me that #2 is heavy, even quirkier than I am, and she eats weird foods. I mean, I'm on a diet and I've lost 30 lbs in the last 4 months, so I know weight can be changed. What really bugs me about her is her mean-spiritedness. We went for a walk on the beach together one evening last week, and she couldn't resist stomping dead sand dollars to pieces or telling me, with sadistic glee, that she wanted to kick apart an abandoned sandcastle that we saw. I know this relationship isn't going to get romantic because of this mean-spiritedness, but OTOH I kind of feel sorry for this woman because she'd probably have a tough time finding another man. All I can hope for at this point is that she'll just want to remain friends...
USMCHokie Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Yeesh...sounds like a lot of pent up aggression and/or anger...but was it true meanspiritedness or merely playfulness (based on your two examples)...?
that girl Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Do not remain friends. This girl probably doesn't want your pity and she just sounds scary.
AmEricanWomann Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 When I read the title of this thread, I thought you were going to write about her yelling at the waiter for bringing the wrong soup or snapping at you for some minor transgression. I was surprised to read what you consider mean spiritedness. If she had stomped on live creatures, I would agree that she was mean or if there was a kid proudly showing off his just built sand castle and she kicked it over right in front of him, yes that would strike me as being nasty too. However the examples you sited don't sound like meanness at all. At worst, I think she might have had a little bit of an over aggressive way of being playful. Nothing wrong with the fact that you don't like that sort of play, but these two incidents do not make her sound like a mean or cruel person. I think perhaps that you weren't attracted to her and didn't want feel like you were being shallow, so you came up with an excuse to convince yourself that it was her personality or actions that turned you off. The thing is, we all have our preferences and if you weren't attracted to her, that doesnt make you shallow. Not everyone is attracted to the same type of people and if there's no chemistry, that's ok. It doesnt make you a bad person to not be physically attracted to a person and don't want to date them anymore. So there's really no need to come up with another reason not to go out with her again.
Author Disillusioned Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 I'll still go out with her again if she asks, but if she brings up the subject of romance, I'll have to tell her that behavior pattern turns me off.
Recommended Posts