martini-mae Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 (edited) Originally Posted by Bitterman24/7 It seems like people are giving up... I've not been a member here for very long & I'm only following along on this thread & the wife's, however, this statement struck me as interesting. Those of you that INSIST on your points of view being heard & taken to heart - Well, why is it that there's only ONE way to look at this scenario in your eyes? As for "Giving Up" does this mean that you keep at someone, dig & dig at them until they come over to "The Dark Side"? - Gee whiz I hope not. Mr. Original Poster ~ I've also read your wife's thread. The only 2 things that IMO stick out. 1) She has not revealed the identity of the other fella (kind of a biggie) & 2) People here can be so mean (& the name calling, it's appalling) to some that have come here for help. In all of my readings on this forum I've not seen a betrayed spouse so beaten down. Not that my apology means anything, but I'm sorry you have to endure this. Don't have any questions or advice, except, I don't think that divorce is the answer in every situation. Yours doesn't look like one that will end that way. How does one have an honest marriage and an honest wife and an honest life if neither the wife or husband is prepared to be totally honest? On this - is everyone here 100% - 100% of the time honest with their spouses or significant others? Every single thing that happens in a given day? Me thinks not. Edited August 4, 2010 by martini-mae
Bitterman24/7 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I've not been a member here for very long & I'm only following along on this thread & the wife's, however, this statement struck me as interesting. Those of you that INSIST on your points of view being heard & taken to heart - Well, why is it that there's only ONE way to look at this scenario in your eyes? As for "Giving Up" does this mean that you keep at someone, dig & dig at them until they come over to "The Dark Side"? - Gee whiz I hope not. Mr. Original Poster ~ I've also read your wife's thread. The only 2 things that IMO stick out. 1) She has not revealed the identity of the other fella (kind of a biggie) & 2) People here can be so mean (& the name calling, it's appalling) to some that have come here for help. In all of my readings on this forum I've not seen a betrayed spouse so beaten down. Not that my apology means anything, but I'm sorry you have to endure this. Don't have any questions or advice, except, I don't think that divorce is the answer in every situation. Yours doesn't look like one that will end that way. On this - is everyone here 100% - 100% of the time honest with their spouses or significant others? Every single thing that happens in a given day? Me thinks not. Its just my opinion on how to deal with it, just like your opinion on how to stay in a relationship where only one or both partners refuse to work together. I didn't say that my view is and will be the only way for him to work on his relationship with his WW and many others never said that either. "The Dark Side?"LMFAO!!! You claim you've never seen a BS so beaten down, yet he already was beaten down when his WW committed the Ultimate Betrayal, and he's being pissed on because she won't even tell him the identity of the OM! Of course no one is 100% honest in a relationship, but that does not excuse her for what she did and is still doing, and that does not exclude him ignoring the FACT that she's still cuckolding him right under his nose.
GordonDarkfoot Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 On this - is everyone here 100% - 100% of the time honest with their spouses or significant others? Every single thing that happens in a given day? Me thinks not. Whether or not one chooses to be in a totally honest relationship is a matter of individual choice. If you are happy with the level of personal honesty in your own relationship, then you don't need to change anything. The same applies to me and to OP and to everyone else. Many people go through their lives and their relationships without seeking or providing real honesty and truth to their SO or spouse and seem to manage adequately, at least on the surface. However I believe being absolutely honest with one's spouse/SO is related to achieving true intimacy in the relationship. IMO anyway. If a person is happy being in a relationship in which deception is acceptable, then that's fine with me, really. I haven't found it to be a workable basis for a meaningful relationship, IME.
Dexter Morgan Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I've not been a member here for very long & I'm only following along on this thread & the wife's, however, this statement struck me as interesting. Those of you that INSIST on your points of view being heard & taken to heart - Well, why is it that there's only ONE way to look at this scenario in your eyes? its not about insisting on being heard, its about someone trying to tell them the reality of things the way they see it, when trying to help him simply not become a lapdog, and then being told that we are bitter, as if that is an insult anyway. he'll learn the hard way, either that or he'll still be here complaining about the scar that she has given him. if we are so off base, then he should just do as he wants, forgive her and get over it. As for "Giving Up" does this mean that you keep at someone, dig & dig at them until they come over to "The Dark Side"? - Gee whiz I hope not. no, the giving up part is that we have been in his shoes, and if wants a feeble attempt at insulting those that have been there, then there is nothing to do but coddle him and simply tell him what he wants to hear.
martini-mae Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 does not exclude him ignoring the FACT that she's still cuckolding him right under his nose. Has anyone thought that maybe that is the underlying information that the original poster has not shared? It is quite possible?! no, the giving up part is that we have been in his shoes, and if wants a feeble attempt at insulting those that have been there, then there is nothing to do but coddle him and simply tell him what he wants to hear The betrayed spouses that are adding to this thread, for the most part are puttin' it all out there & I understand that. And the OP should read & take what he needs from those posts. I guess I just think there should be a tactful way for advising someone on what troubles them, without sounding as if you're telling him what to do or you're the guy that was sitting in their living room the last 3 years of their marriage. That's all. When someone's been in a situation like this one, they only have their own experiences to draw from. Obviously. But saying he's a doormat or a lapdog, because he's choosing his wife & to stay married, it just isn't right. just like your opinion on how to stay in a relationship where only one or both partners refuse to work together I didn't say this, but my take on this is to stick it out & see what happens.
Bitterman24/7 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 (edited) Has anyone thought that maybe that is the underlying information that the original poster has not shared? It is quite possible?! The betrayed spouses that are adding to this thread, for the most part are puttin' it all out there & I understand that. And the OP should read & take what he needs from those posts. I guess I just think there should be a tactful way for advising someone on what troubles them, without sounding as if you're telling him what to do or you're the guy that was sitting in their living room the last 3 years of their marriage. That's all. When someone's been in a situation like this one, they only have their own experiences to draw from. Obviously. But saying he's a doormat or a lapdog, because he's choosing his wife & to stay married, it just isn't right. I didn't say this, but my take on this is to stick it out & see what happens. A tactful way. :lmao: We gave him ways on how to recover his marriage, but he chooses to ignore it, insults us, therefore we can't help him. This is a public forum, and that means there are only people here who are going to express their opinions based on their experiences, just like you said. No one was being mean to him, but he only wants advice that will approve his actions. Opinions are opinions and not everyone is going to like them. There is no such thing as neutral or nice advice because it will still be based on how that person perceives the situation (opinionated), and it could still be rejected by the advisee or anyone else for that matter. The last 3 years of his marriage? LMFAO!! :lmao::lmao:They've only been married for three years, and she just cheated on him!!! Like I said earlier, whats going to happen 10 to 15 years from now when they're in a concrete spot in their marriage? Edited August 4, 2010 by Bitterman24/7
kevinm1019 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Thanks Dad... This is what I am looking for... I have been following this thread for some time because I have experienced a very similar situation and I need to share some wisdom... The bottom line with the discovery of this affair is this... You are hurt and have been trying to work with the person who deceived you and would have continued to deceive you if you had not discovered the affair whether she ended it or not before you discovered her... Unfortunately, that hurt, whether recognized or not is causing you to not address how you are managing the situation for yourself WITHOUT considering your wife because you need that time for "yourself"... Not matter what your wife may express or communicate to you regarding her choice to have her affair... the reality is she made a choice to interact with this man and explore the possibilities until it led to some level of sexual intimacy... it doesn't make her a terrible person... but it does make her actions selfish, self-serving and inconsiderate because she was aware of the potential to be sexually or emotionally intimate with each conversation or physical action from the first kiss to the sexual act... Please DO NOT mislead yourself into thinking this is something you will be able to resolve within a year or two... the emotional tug of war you will experience will be like nothing you have ever experienced before... you will make comparisons... your esteem will fluctuate... you will be angry one day and madly in love the next (or think you are)... you will attempt to validate yourself through intimacy with your wife and she will do the same hoping it will help you move on quicker... she will become frustrated because she will attempt to present herself as a person who has recovered quickly and understands the error of her ways... but the truth is... This entire ordeal will take time... some more than others... but time is the key. The bottom line is your wife understands your nuances and knows what to say... what buttons to press... and when to back off... that is why she was able to prevent you from discovering her during the affair. Now that the affair has been discovered... she will be in "survival mode" because the balance of her life and yours has been upset in a way she had not anticipated... and the truth is... neither did you. There are some obvious character issues and marital issues your wife needs to accept responsibility for and accept without justification... her actions will speak volumes versus her words because her words have demonstrated her ability to deceive you without remorse hence her affair. She is better served to demonstrate her remorse and growth due to the affair based on her actions. For you... to have a clear understanding... I would in the health care industry for one of the largest health care organizations in the world and what your wife did... was wrong from a professional standpoint and a HIPPA standpoint. In my position, I am required to participate in annual HIPPA training and what she did was wrong, unprofessional and meant to be for her benefit... period... end of story... and it was not a misunderstood action. If the top-level people in her organization who care about compliance found out she did this and their job status was in jeopardy... she would have been terminated. I don't know what the age difference or age is between you and your wife but the bottom line is "we are not children." Your wife knows the difference between right and wrong... hot and cold... day and night... good and bad... she knew... no matter what she says about the situation... even if she was not participating in sex at the time... if you walked in and saw her interacting with this man... or she saw you interacting with another woman in the same manner... it would not have been beneficial for your marriage or resulted in a positive or supportive feedback from either you or your wife... Please see things for what they are and not what you "want" them to be because you are in a "fog" and are in denial in many ways of the impact of the affair and what your wife is capable of and may be capable of in the future... she needs to address her challenges within herself firstly without your input then address the challenges the two of you have together in your marriage via counseling or a few books such as the ones suggested here. The bottom line is her action... not words... will dictate your actions... and potential for forgiveness... tolerance... and growth from the hurt and pain she has caused herself, caused you and caused your marriage because of the unfaithfulness, distrust, deceit, infidelity, etc.... Hope this helps....
linwood Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 then you haven't read the posts close enough. there may be a small few that simply say, "JUST DIVORCE" without saying why, but all that I have seen that are telling him that might be his best option has stated why. Dexter, Let`s back up a bit. I don`t believe I singled you out as a poster who was advocating he just divorce her with no foundation for doing so. If I did I apologize as I believe the advice you`ve been giving him in this thread is on the money. We`re on the same page man. I`m sorry for any misunderstanding. Truce?
linwood Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 notsoeasy, I`m going to tell you what I would do if I were in your situation. First I`m going to tell you that I admire you for having the strength to attempt to save your marriage. I also want to tell you that I`m not one of the betrayed spouses who seem drawn to your thread like moths to a flame. I have no bitterness or agenda to project on you. This is advice from a man who has dealt with cheating women in the past and who has cheated himself in the past...waaaay in the past. I have no emotional attachment to this subject at this time. Here is the path I would take were I in your shoes. 1:Separate all finances immediately. If she can`t agree to what follows you`ll be ahead of the divorce game. 2:Have a lawyer draw up divorce papers and have her served. You can back out at any time if she is willing to live under the following conditions and succeeds in regaining your trust. 3:Your wife must call this OM with you present on an extension and tell him she will never see or speak to him again and any attempt on his part to contact her will be ignored. In addition any attempt on his part to contact her must be disclosed by her immediately. 4:Your wife must give you any and all information possible about the OM. His name, marital status, job, education, address, phone numbers, e-mail, EVERYTHING! You must be able to do whatever you want with this info even if and especially it means disclosing the affair to his wife. 5:I would disclose the affair to his wife/girlfriend immediately upon receiving info on his marital status. This does one very important thing, it almost guarantees the affair will cease. If the affair has already ended it will guarantee it won`t start up again. It also gives his SO the option of deciding if she wishes to continue her life wife such a man. 6:I would disclose the affair to family,friends, and the guy selling hot dogs on the street corner. This brings home the seriousness of her actions. It shames her and shows her there is a serious price to be paid for disrespecting me. If the affair is still ongoing it also helps to end it. 7:I would stick a voice recorder in her car along with a GPS tracking device to show her I don`t have an iota of trust left in her. She has to earn it back. 8:She then must make a heroic effort to make sure you know where she is every damn moment of the day. If she`s at work or her mothers she calls you a few times a day FROM A HARDLINE not her cell so you can be certain where she is through caller ID. She must do all this for as long as it takes you to gain some trust back. Until you stop wondering what she`s doing every time she runs to the store and trust me you will be wondering what she`s really doing every time she runs to the store. You essentially own her for whatever period of time it takes for you to regain trust and comfort in her. If she balks at any of this or even hesitates before agreeing then I`d move on to .. 9:File those divorce papers and move her out. You`re being way to "understanding" in this situation. This isn`t the time for gentle understanding. This is the time to go nuclear. She must understand that what she did is going to screw her entire life if she doesn`t do everything she is capable of to try and fix it. You`re on the wrong track at the moment. She has disrespected you in a major way and she will do it again if you do not do something strong to regain that respect. That`s all I`ve got. Good Luck!!
GorillaTheater Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 As a guy who has been married a long time with no (well, almost no) history of cheating by either one of us and who's only agenda is to see men act like men, I agree 99% with Linwood. The one percent being the dichotomy between #'s 2 and 9. Definitely do 2. 9 should be all-out pursuit of the divorce she's already been served with.
Mr. Lucky Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Despite the many detailed listings here designed to balance the marital scales of justice, what if this is just as simple as this: In his own way, he loves his wife enough to forgive her this obvious betrayal. He wants her to understand how much this has hurt him but he still wants a life together with her. And he's willing to make the leap of faith that his wife loves him enough not to do this again. And while I understand that his commitment is different and unsupportable in the eyes of many here, why does that also make him wrong? It's his life, his happiness, his marriage and his relationship - that he would choose to react differently to the affair than would (or have) many others here doesn't merit the negative comments ("lapdog" "pussy whipped" "doormat", etc.) that have been thrown his way... Mr. Lucky
Dexter Morgan Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Despite the many detailed listings here designed to balance the marital scales of justice, what if this is just as simple as this: In his own way, he loves his wife enough to forgive her this obvious betrayal. He wants her to understand how much this has hurt him but he still wants a life together with her. And he's willing to make the leap of faith that his wife loves him enough not to do this again. And while I understand that his commitment is different and unsupportable in the eyes of many here, why does that also make him wrong? It's his life, his happiness, his marriage and his relationship - that he would choose to react differently to the affair than would (or have) many others here doesn't merit the negative comments ("lapdog" "pussy whipped" "doormat", etc.) that have been thrown his way... Mr. Lucky Like I said, I didn't advise him to simply divorce his wife, just to open his eyes and stop making excuses for her. but now all I have to say to him is, hold his wife, hug her, tell her he forgives her and that everything is going to be alright. Let her know she was young and stupid and its not her fault and that they will be together forever!!
Mr. Lucky Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 but now all I have to say to him is, hold his wife, hug her, tell her he forgives her and that everything is going to be alright. Well yes (and this leaves out her part), at some point that's what he'll have to do ... Mr. Lucky
Bitterman24/7 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Well yes (and this leaves out her part), at some point that's what he'll have to do ... Mr. Lucky One word and one word only: CUCKOLDED!!
Snowflower Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Despite the many detailed listings here designed to balance the marital scales of justice, what if this is just as simple as this: In his own way, he loves his wife enough to forgive her this obvious betrayal. He wants her to understand how much this has hurt him but he still wants a life together with her. And he's willing to make the leap of faith that his wife loves him enough not to do this again. And while I understand that his commitment is different and unsupportable in the eyes of many here, why does that also make him wrong? It's his life, his happiness, his marriage and his relationship - that he would choose to react differently to the affair than would (or have) many others here doesn't merit the negative comments ("lapdog" "pussy whipped" "doormat", etc.) that have been thrown his way... Mr. Lucky I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this thread had taken a bad turn. BTW, notsoeasy hasn't commented lately but maybe he hasn't had a chance. It's one thing to give harsh, no-nonsense advice but it's another to call someone names. Especially someone who is hurting and probably confused as notsoeasy most likely is. It's kind of cruel, IMO. But maybe that is how guys relate to each other, IDK? Like I said, I didn't advise him to simply divorce his wife, just to open his eyes and stop making excuses for her. but now all I have to say to him is, hold his wife, hug her, tell her he forgives her and that everything is going to be alright. Let her know she was young and stupid and its not her fault and that they will be together forever!! Your advice was harsh and realistic, but not cruel. Notsoeasy, I hope you at least found some answers here among the good, the bad, and the ugly posts. Good luck to you.
Mr. Lucky Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 One word and one word only: CUCKOLDED!! Well, since that's defined as "A man married to an unfaithful wife" then it's technically true. If you're assigning a more derogatory meaning, then that's the namecalling I was referring to. I have to admit, it's hard for me to believe that a screen name of Bitterman24/7 portends anything other than a fixed negative view of Notsoeasy's potential outcomes... Mr. Lucky
Bitterman24/7 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 Well, since that's defined as "A man married to an unfaithful wife" then it's technically true. If you're assigning a more derogatory meaning, then that's the namecalling I was referring to. I have to admit, it's hard for me to believe that a screen name of Bitterman24/7 portends anything other than a fixed negative view of Notsoeasy's potential outcomes... Mr. Lucky Who cares what you think of my screen name? Just because you have a view to reconcile rather than divorce doesn't make your view better than anyone else's. You want to refer to posters who are namecalling others then you go and you testify about all of the other posters who give advice that is too harsh for your feelings. Your highly insulting to me and your going to my ignore list. And for the record, this is my name because I went through a tough marriage and divorce from a so-called wife who decided to sleep with someone else, then say because he looked better than me. I'm four years out of my marriage and i'm still pissed. When you've been in my shoes then come talk to me.
GordonDarkfoot Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 (edited) Well, since that's defined as "A man married to an unfaithful wife" then it's technically true. If you're assigning a more derogatory meaning, then that's the namecalling I was referring to. I have to admit, it's hard for me to believe that a screen name of Bitterman24/7 portends anything other than a fixed negative view of Notsoeasy's potential outcomes... Mr. Lucky Mr. Lucky, If you believe "Bitterman" is truly a bitter man, then why criticize him for that? How many of us use a transparently descriptive and honest screen name? Honesty and candor are to be highly valued. Don't knock honesty. Edited August 5, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Mr. Lucky Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 You want to refer to posters who are namecalling others then you go and you testify about all of the other posters who give advice that is too harsh for your feelings. Actually it was Notsoeasy's feelings I was thinking of. Most BS (which incidently includes me) can probably relate to the raw pain that brings a poster here fresh out of D-Day so why the scorn and derision from so many? It doesn't help him and it doesn't help get your point across anymore than suggesting his wife wear sackcloth and ashes for the next year helps her. JMHO... Mr. Lucky
Bitterman24/7 Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Actually it was Notsoeasy's feelings I was thinking of. Most BS (which incidently includes me) can probably relate to the raw pain that brings a poster here fresh out of D-Day so why the scorn and derision from so many? It doesn't help him and it doesn't help get your point across anymore than suggesting his wife wear sackcloth and ashes for the next year helps her. JMHO... Mr. Lucky And it doesn't get your point across any more than it does the next person by telling him to bow down to someone who cuckolded him. Scorn and derision from so many? Its just opinions at the end of the day. If I feel that someone is soft when approaching their WS, then i'm going to say it. Sure I may have come across as harsh and that I may need to tone down my confrontational view, but lets not forget, he insulted those who were trying to help him, just like you did when making fun of my name. But that doesn't mean that i'm not going to continue to post my views just because you or anyone else thinks i'm wrong because I decided to leave a WS, become bitter about my divorce, and join here to voice my opinion like everyone else does.
Mr. Lucky Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 And it doesn't get your point across any more than it does the next person by telling him to bow down to someone who cuckolded him. I'm assuming that you're mis-stating my position for effect because here's what I said to him early on: What was undone in a few "mechanical" minutes will take months and years to re-build. It's hard to get a sense from your posts as to her commitment to the process. Cheating isn't a mistake, it's a carefully coordinated series of decisions before, during and after. And she didn't confess, she was caught. Proceed carefully... Mr. Lucky My point is simply that the OP stated from the beginning that, despite knowing of the affair, he still wanted to make his marriage work. And he wanted advice on how to do so. But what he got instead was a majority of posts labelling him a fool, a doormat or worse, none of which seemed designed to address his specific request for help. I wonder if he thinks he ended with anything of value from this thread... Mr. Lucky
Bitterman24/7 Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I'm assuming that you're mis-stating my position for effect because here's what I said to him early on: My point is simply that the OP stated from the beginning that, despite knowing of the affair, he still wanted to make his marriage work. And he wanted advice on how to do so. But what he got instead was a majority of posts labelling him a fool, a doormat or worse, none of which seemed designed to address his specific request for help. I wonder if he thinks he ended with anything of value from this thread... Mr. Lucky No one is mis-stating your position. What the OP wanted was validation and in return he got advice that did not validate his ignorance on the fact that his WS is still continuously disrespecting him. The majority of the posts did address his specific request for help, and even then there were a few posts that addressed his need for validation, but he was angry that the majority didn't agree with him. Just like one poster said: if he wants to continue his marriage without someone suggesting to take a second look at his wife, or to work harder on his marriage, then he should just forget about her affair and move on with life. He claimed in his earlier posts that he was open-minded to various suggestions but when the time came to be open about everyone's opinions, he went right back to his originality. Like I said before, even the BSs with successful, recovered marriages said that they had to WORK HARD (putting their foot down to be exact) to get their marriage to where it is currently. No matter how harsh the advice or how different it is, it all came right back to telling him that if he wants to work on his marriage, then he needs to stop taking the blame for his WS's infidelity, communicate the problems in the marriage directly, and set hard boundaries.
You Go Girl Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I believe the OP is trying damage control, with as little fallout as possible. Commendable, actually. I also believe he is in emergency mode, and the effect of what has occured hasn't hit him completely yet. Let's let him take things at his own pace, and help when we can. That's what we're here for.
Darth Vader Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 (edited) Well Kevin, I appreciate your post. The brutal imagery(shoelaces, and zippers), is still hard to face, and I am sure that was you intent, so thanks(genuine, not sarcastic), as I need that repeated in my head. I know that I do! I think that when I force myself to visualize it, I am never in the right mindset, as your statement hit a lot harder! In terms of "forward": (1) are you willing to accept her affair and the actions which have occurred? I believe that I have, but I am not sure if it is real, or just subconciously wanting it over, and acceptance is easier than the fight? (2) will you ever be able to trust her in a healthy and productive way post-affair? This is the toughy! No way to answer it! Did I trust her 100% before, no! Have I ever had 100% trust in anyone? No! Is that even possible? I don't know... (3) do you feel the need to enact some type of revenge by having an affair or? Absolutely NOT! The mear thought makes me nausious. (4) can you see yourself living your life with or without her knowing when things become challenging in your relationship she seeks emotional and intimate outlets from other men? The only thing that I can hope for, is that this opened both of our eyes to how openly we can communicate about anything. I mean seriously, after my wife has told me about another man, and sees that I can be open minded about it, shouldn't she be able to talk about anything now? As far as other's comments, It is not up to me to make sure that she is properly "punished" for her behavior. That is between her, her conscious, and God! On a trivial note; A Conscious is the only thing that, trully, seperates us from the animal kingdom. No others live with guilt/regrets... Believe me, you're going to have those images, have you told your wife that you're having images of them? Has she told you everything they did? Something/s to ask yourself, why didn't she tell you, why did she wait for you to find out about it? Why did she put your health and life at risk for STD's? Why did she make you waste your life on a lie? All that progress that you two made over these 3 years was all a Lie! BTW, none of this is your fault! It's all her fault! She's the one who did this to you! It was no mistake, no accident, it was intentional! So in a way, she did intentionally hurt you! You can still get STD's even when condoms are used! Herpes, genatal warts! The anger stage is coming my friend. Edited August 7, 2010 by Darth Vader
Darth Vader Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Believe me, you're going to have those images, have you told your wife that you're having images of them? Has she told you everything they did? Something/s to ask yourself, why didn't she tell you, why did she wait for you to find out about it? Why did she put your health and life at risk for STD's? Why did she make you waste your life on a lie? All that progress that you two made over these 3 years was all a Lie! BTW, none of this is your fault! It's all her fault! She's the one who did this to you! It was no mistake, no accident, it was intentional! So in a way, she did intentionally hurt you! You can still get STD's even when condoms are used! Herpes, genatal warts! The anger stage is coming my friend. So.... Why is your wife still hiding and protecting her OM? WHY are you letting her?! It's apparent that she still cares more for her OM than you! You can see that from her actions. Your wife says that she's sooo sorry that she did this to you, she wasn't sooo sorry when she straddled and rode OM! I know, it is brutal, but, she's continuing the brutality to you, can't you see that!? No, she isn't taking full responsibilty for her actions, by her covering for her OM it ought to tell you something, why is she still hiding him, is it still going on?!
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