dispatch3d Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Interesting how few men listed intelligence. Doesn't speak well of the gender. lol whose going to critisize us? WOMEN? hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Intelligence is a bonus really. I mean I demand a certain level (the chicks from the hills, too dumb!), but above that very obviously dumb I really don't give a ****. Smart friends are usually a good idea though. More successful etc. in general. sweet thread though. Thread title should be changed to "things you can compliment women on". edit: guys are just as bad for this. So easy there feminists....
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Hey, I did say most! But seriously, there are many more women out there who are looking for an equal partnership than there are men out there looking for an equal partnership. Which puts women like me at a disadvantage when it comes to dating. And I'm glad you're not someone who's looking for a bitch. Zengirl pointed out in a thread one time the difference between equal and same. I do want a woman that will be my equal. A woman that I will be proud to have with me and can respect. I want a woman that is damn good at being a woman. I don't want to feel like I'm with another man. In regards to intellect... you and Shadow have a very narrow view of this. The guys that want airheads are typically dumb themselves or have massive control issues... so they are very easy to spot and avoid. Men like me (I have a B.S. in Bio Research) want a woman that is smart. That doesn't mean she needs to be able to discuss particle physics. There are many different ways to be intelligent, and it doesn't have to be the same as me! My one key is that I want a woman that has a passion for learning new things. Are you starting to get the picture? Don't misunderstand guys... Do you want to just be the female version of all these bitter idiots that believe women are all like this or that?
SassyKitten Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Me leading doesn't mean I'm superior. Clearly defined roles, rules and boundaries make for a successful relationship. What do you think I'll sit back and say "It's okay honeybunch, you can grind up against another man on the dancefloor in a club, I don't mind". A woman will never be second best to me, she'll always be an equal when we're together, we're one single unit. Who says anything about daughters? You keep harping on about imaginary daughters. When you said that you lead and the woman should stay home and take care of the kids, it only tells me one thing. Where in my vision of the ideal relationship, the woman and the man lead as one team. And both should play an equal part in taking care of the kids. And when it comes to daughters, I really hope you won't raise them to cater to their man. Of course, I would never grind against another man on the dance floor when I'm with a partner. Actually, it's not at all my style to grind against any man on the dance floor unless I'm actually involved with him! What I have gotten a feel for, through men on this board, who I've dated, and who I've talked to, is they want to be the boss of their woman, whether it's consciously or subconsciously. And this has been a never-ending source of frustration for me. While many women live in the ignorance is bliss mentality, as for me I have fallen down the rabbit-hole of what a woman is capable of, and there is no turning back.
SassyKitten Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Zengirl pointed out in a thread one time the difference between equal and same. I do want a woman that will be my equal. A woman that I will be proud to have with me and can respect. I want a woman that is damn good at being a woman. I don't want to feel like I'm with another man. In regards to intellect... you and Shadow have a very narrow view of this. The guys that want airheads are typically dumb themselves or have massive control issues... so they are very easy to spot and avoid. Men like me (I have a B.S. in Bio Research) want a woman that is smart. That doesn't mean she needs to be able to discuss particle physics. There are many different ways to be intelligent, and it doesn't have to be the same as me! My one key is that I want a woman that has a passion for learning new things. Are you starting to get the picture? Don't misunderstand guys... Do you want to just be the female version of all these bitter idiots that believe women are all like this or that? I don't want to be the bitter female version, but I won't lie when I say that the status quo as well as personal experience resulting from the status quo has made me extra-defensive about avoiding these situations. In today's society, we have daycare, enabling both parents to work. 100 years ago, we didn't have this, so someone had to stay home with the kids. Even so, dating is very difficult when you're a woman with career ambition. I can compare it to that episode of Sex and the City where Miranda(a lawyer) was speed-dating. She kept getting turned down when she said she was a lawyer. Men were all of a sudden interested in her when she lied and said she's a flight attendant. She hooked up with this guy who said he's a doctor. Then at the end of that episode it came out that she's actually a lawyer and he's actually an assistant manager at Foot Locker. One of the disservices of feminism is this myth that ambitious, self-sufficient women are ball-breakers who leave their men feeling emasculated. And I look together to the day when I get together with a man who proves all of my bad feelings wrong.
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I don't want to be the bitter female version, but I won't lie when I say that the status quo as well as personal experience resulting from the status quo has made me extra-defensive about avoiding these situations. In today's society, we have daycare, enabling both parents to work. 100 years ago, we didn't have this, so someone had to stay home with the kids. I understand what you mean about trying to not be bitter. I've been cheated on in 2 of my last 3 relationships... which is basically the last 5 years of my life. I'm 30 and now I have to go find another GF. I was hoping to find someone who loves me by now.... Even so, dating is very difficult when you're a woman with career ambition. I can compare it to that episode of Sex and the City where Miranda(a lawyer) was speed-dating. She kept getting turned down when she said she was a lawyer. Men were all of a sudden interested in her when she lied and said she's a flight attendant. She hooked up with this guy who said he's a doctor. Then at the end of that episode it came out that she's actually a lawyer and he's actually an assistant manager at Foot Locker. I grew up bouncing from daycare to daycare.... I don't want that for my kids. Career ambitions are great, but I don't think I'm a good match for anyone who thinks that is the most important thing in life. To me a good career is important to support your family. That's it. One of the disservices of feminism is this myth that ambitious, self-sufficient women are ball-breakers who leave their men feeling emasculated. And I look together to the day when I get together with a man who proves all of my bad feelings wrong. It's going to happen. You will find a great guy. Just remember this one thing. Don't focus on the negative. Never allow your mind to go to all of the negative things that can happen... because you will make that come true. Instead think in the positive, focus on what you want and your more likely to have success.
stellaluna Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I like a brain in a woman. I want a hot girl with a brain.
alphamale Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Alright guys, what non physical traits do you often find yourself attracted to in a woman? their illogical non-linear though process
brainygirl Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I like a brain in a woman. I want a hot girl with a brain. I'm a hot-ish girl with a brain.
brainygirl Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 their illogical non-linear though process That bad? . .
meerkat stew Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Emotional health Emotional health Emotional health . . . Charm/warmth Wit/playfulness Intelligence in a vacuum is overrated.
BobSacamento Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Who said anything about being superior? I have never once mentioned that word in this thread. I will always take the initiative and the lead in relationship I am in and at my workplace etc. I have always led by example. There are women like you who hate this, but there are plenty of women who want a man to lead. You do not have to date a man, you can date a nice guy who will strive for a balance or you can date someone who will be submissive to you. There are plenty of men who strive for equality and plenty more who wish to be your slave. Look for those men. I think you might need to define what taking the lead means in a relationship. If that means always calling the shots, then that implies that your calls are superior than the woman's.
SassyKitten Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I understand what you mean about trying to not be bitter. I've been cheated on in 2 of my last 3 relationships... which is basically the last 5 years of my life. I'm 30 and now I have to go find another GF. I was hoping to find someone who loves me by now.... I grew up bouncing from daycare to daycare.... I don't want that for my kids. Career ambitions are great, but I don't think I'm a good match for anyone who thinks that is the most important thing in life. To me a good career is important to support your family. That's it. It's going to happen. You will find a great guy. Just remember this one thing. Don't focus on the negative. Never allow your mind to go to all of the negative things that can happen... because you will make that come true. Instead think in the positive, focus on what you want and your more likely to have success. Yeah, I've been cheated with for 2 out of my last 3(and probably all 3) relationships. And the first of these was after I went on sexual detox for 2 years because I was tired having the kind of sex that ignored my feelings. I feel you, and it hurts. Actually, my favorable view of daycare comes from having a stay at home mother and being isolated from other children. Most of the kids who I went to school with had daycare, and the difference between their social confidence level and mine at the time was astronomical. I want my kids also to appreciate the value of hard work from both their mother and father working and leading by example. That seems healthiest. And ideally, myself or my husband or both will be able to do at least some tele-commuting, but if not, at least there's daycare. I don't plan on being someone who spends 80+ hours a week at the office, and I would rather my husband not be one of those either. This goes whether or not kids are in the picture yet. I'm ambitious, yes, but I look at it as a means to an end. What society needs to get over, and fast, is that being with a woman like me does not make a man any less of a man. Just like I would never put up with a man trying to change who I am, no man should ever put up with a woman who tries to change what he is. If anything, the only way I succumb to traditional gender roles is that it does feel safer having a man sleeping in the bed with me. But if not, I'm perfectly capable of defending myself, so it's all good.
SassyKitten Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I think you might need to define what taking the lead means in a relationship. If that means always calling the shots, then that implies that your calls are superior than the woman's. Exactly. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Shakz Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Just to get back on topic, I kinda like it when a woman dresses nice. Not too fancy, you know, just nice.
Author MrNate Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 So how did this thread go south so fast??? Jeez.
Author MrNate Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 Interesting how few men listed intelligence. Doesn't speak well of the gender. Well the thread seemed to go fine up to this point... This comment was totally unnecessary, and a tad insulting. So just because we didn't mention it, doesn't mean we value it? Sorry to disappoint. Comments like these are what cause good threads to go sour in the blink of an eye. Give us a break.
Shakz Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I like a classy woman. One who knows how to comport herself regardless of the situation. The kind of woman I like can swig beer and waterski, and the next night sip champagne and waltz. I like a woman who doesn't act a fool when you give her a gift or a compliment. I like a woman who knows how to whistle.
SassyKitten Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Well the thread seemed to go fine up to this point... This comment was totally unnecessary, and a tad insulting. So just because we didn't mention it, doesn't mean we value it? Sorry to disappoint. Comments like these are what cause good threads to go sour in the blink of an eye. Give us a break. Sorry about that. It can be said that there's some (not all, some) that say that submissiveness is a desirable female trait, which does cause headache for many including myself.
Feelin Frisky Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Must give good phone. Pet peeve: women who use the expression: "listen" (as in listen I'm doing this or w/e). Rubs my fur the wrong way.
Shakz Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Must give good phone. Pet peeve: women who use the expression: "listen" (as in listen I'm doing this or w/e). Rubs my fur the wrong way. Yeah, me too. Or they're only interested in what they have to say. God, I freakin' hate that!
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 So how did this thread go south so fast??? Jeez. Sorry MrNate for any involvement I may have had in that. I was thinking it might be a good idea to start this thread anew... but with a more specific title, since there were some issues deciding what non-physical implied.
Author MrNate Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 Sorry MrNate for any involvement I may have had in that. I was thinking it might be a good idea to start this thread anew... but with a more specific title, since there were some issues deciding what non-physical implied. Nah man it's all good, it wasn't you. It was more along the lines of someone saying just because no man mentioned this certain trait, then it must not important to any of us. That one little comment caused an unnecessary uproar. But as far as your suggestion goes, I agree it probably would've been easier to discuss if the thread had a more specific title.
Author MrNate Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 Sorry about that. It can be said that there's some (not all, some) that say that submissiveness is a desirable female trait, which does cause headache for many including myself. Definitely. I can see why, though I don't know how that debate started. I don't necessarily agree with everything sphere wrote...but I hold faith that he doesn't treat women less than him. We like what we like I guess.
Els Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 (edited) My father stayed at home to raise one of his children and do you know what I thought of him? I thought "You weak, pathetic individual". Don't get me wrong I have never respected or liked my father for what he did to my mother, but never in a million years did I think he would totally repluse me by virtually becoming a woman trapped in a man's body". I think it turned south because of this. Yes, Sphere, your father should have been a man and went to work, and left you or your sibling to rot and die if your mother couldn't take care of you. Totally makes sense. Edited August 2, 2010 by Elswyth
Author MrNate Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 The non physical attractive traits in a great woman are too many to list. Here are a few. good communicator if something's wrong, she lets me know can hold an intelligent conversation reliability honesty there for me, especially in hard times respects other people shares at least some of my beliefs and interests knows at least the basics of how to manage money warm towards me Phenomenal list. I really like your second one. I appreciate openness and being in the loop of what's going on, instead of being the bearer of any emotional outbursts caused by outside events.
Recommended Posts