robinhill Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Hi my boyfriend who I have lived with For two years lies all the time. Mostly stupid Stuff that doesn't even make sense. But now I cannot believe anything he says. In the Beginning he was texting and talking to a Woman for six months who didn't even know I existed. He swore that would never happen again But continues to lie almost daily even about lunch Recently I found a new girl in his contacts he said for Five weeks he couldn't remember who. It had only been A week since he added her. Now he says it was a friend He ran into they just talked once. Now he has added that She had a boyfriend. Why all the lying??? I think it has to Be a much worse story than that. How will I ever know. Should I just throw in the towel ?? He is great in most other Ways but this is a lot to deal with.
Serenitynow Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 obviously its no big deal to you. You've known about all this time and have allowed his behavior to continue. I doubt you will do anything about it. Are you coming here to just complain or do you have the balls to give him the boot ?
TaraMaiden Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Throw in the towel. Finish it. Lying is such an immature thing to do. You can't trust him, and he's proved he can't be trusted. He's a juvenile. End it now. Really, I mean it. Lying in this way is completely unacceptable. Go. Leave. Call it quits. You ask anything else, and basically, you're doomed to be a sucker all your life.
StalledGirl Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 I could write a long reply out but it's simple- dump him because he doesn't have any respect for you and sounds like a fool!
Serenitynow Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Shes not going to dump him. She put up with it this long, nothing is going to change.
Author robinhill Posted July 31, 2010 Author Posted July 31, 2010 That's not very nice ..I want to dump him But sometimes when you are in a relationship Like this it gets so confusing and they are very Good at making their lies seem trivial So I am asking for advice to reassure myself That I am not crazy. This is horrible. Thank you everyone else for your advice. Serenity now. You could be a bit more compassionate I would not be here if I was not at the end of my rope And looking for help and encouragement. Try being in my Shoes it's a confusing nightmare.
StalledGirl Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 That's not very nice ..I want to dump him But sometimes when you are in a relationship Like this it gets so confusing and they are very Good at making their lies seem trivial So I am asking for advice to reassure myself That I am not crazy. This is horrible. Thank you everyone else for your advice. Serenity now. You could be a bit more compassionate I would not be here if I was not at the end of my rope And looking for help and encouragement. Try being in my Shoes it's a confusing nightmare. It's hard leaving someone you love and want to be with but he is crossing a line and I hate to sound cynical but how do you know he isn't physically cheating on you? By not dealing with this issue you are avoiding short term pain but long term? You are causing more pain for yourself. How can you plan a future with someone you can claim "I cannot believe anything he says" . What's left after the trust has gone?
Serenitynow Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Serenity now. You could be a bit more compassionate I would not be here if I was not at the end of my rope And looking for help and encouragement. Try being in my Shoes it's a confusing nightmare. If you were at the end of your rope you wouldn't be on here asking for advice, you would know what to do. I'm not here to sugar coat your situation. You need to stop being the victim and stand up for yourself. Theres not a dam thing confusing about it, he's lying to you continuously .
TaraMaiden Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 That's not very nice ..I want to dump him Then just do it. But sometimes when you are in a relationship Like this it gets so confusing What's 'confusing? He's a liar and can't be trusted. It's not confusing at all. In fact, it's one of the most extraordinarily simple problems I've ever seen posted. and they are very Good at making their lies seem trivial No, they're very good at making their lies convincing. That's why he can never, ever be trusted. Because he's a liar and completely blurs the line between honesty and deceit. To be on the safe side - and to never end up being his doormat - you HAVE to dump him. So I am asking for advice to reassure myself That I am not crazy We've given it to you. And no, you're not crazy. This is horrible. Yes it is, but it doesn't have to be. Dump him. You'll soon see how it stops being horrible the moment you tell him it's over. But you have to mean it. Or it makes you a liar too. Thank you everyone else for your advice. Serenity now. You could be a bit more compassionate I would not be here if I was not at the end of my rope And looking for help and encouragement. Try being in my Shoes it's a confusing nightmare. You're not at the end of your rope. he hasn't hit you, beaten you or abused you. he hasn't drugged you or date-raped you. You're fine. But he's lied to you. So it's equally simple to just walk, get the hell out and not look back. Serenitynow tells it exactly as it is. And so do I. Really hun, do yourself probably the biggest favour you ever will. Dump the damn liar, and let him live his life and take the consequences. If you don't he'll just pull you in further and play you for a sucker.
Author robinhill Posted July 31, 2010 Author Posted July 31, 2010 For all you advice...even Serenity now I don't want to ever play the victim I know I have to leave..but it's hard This is as bad as almost any abuse because They mess with your mind. It really helps To have outside opinions. And I guess I got them:) I feel stronger and more like myself already. I won't be a victim or a doormat or a sucker anymore. Thank you.
TaraMaiden Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 It's hard because you want the love. it's a nice feeling. It means if you dump him, you don't get the lovey-bits. You know what? Focus on this: He's a liar. So - if he says "I love you" - is he being truthful, even? Does he really love you anyway? Or is he lying about that, too? Do you really want to be told 'I love you' by a liar? Doesn't wash, does it? Nobody treats someone they love, like this. Nobody hurts their SO by deceiving them, pulling the wool over their eyes, and then convincing them THEY're the ones who've got it wrong. He's a complete and total fraud. So there you are on your wedding day - reciting your vows... Do you believe a single word he's telling you? No. And if there isn't going to be any wedding - then there's no point continuing with this now. Is there...?
Author robinhill Posted August 1, 2010 Author Posted August 1, 2010 Very well said. I will focus on those Things....it's true how could I know if He really loves me?? ...and if we got Married as I am walking down the aisle Not even on that day would I be able To think..what a wonderful man I am Marrying. It's sad..but I no longer have Any choice...this is not a relationship this Is the illusion of one. Your words were very helpful..thank you For your help...I will remember them.
carhill Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 Live alone for a few years and see how it goes. Living with a man you're dating won't be an option. Try that mindset and see what kind of man you attract. Also, now that you've decided to end this relationship, reflect upon past relationships/attractions and look for patterns. You're the common denominator in those patterns. The end of a relationship is a great time to reflect upon and change aspects of yourself to learn and become healthier. Good luck
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