mangosmmm Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 A little back story on me and my girl. We met through my brother and his fiance, who was friends with my current girlfriend in high school. Even before they set us up, my brothers fiance would tell me and my family about how she was kind of slutty and would **** any guy who would **** her. Anyway, before she met me she had been with 5 previous guys in 2 years. She lost her virginity at 18 to a guy who had a girlfriend at the time, and she was very gullible about sex. She also identified herself as bisexual, but only had sex with 1 girl, and it was oral sex. While she was with her previous boyfriend before me, she went behind his back and started hanging out with a different guy. Although they never had sex they did make out quite frequently, and she said that she would have had sex with him. She tells me it's because her boyfriend always accused her of cheating and that she did it so he would have something to accuse her of. Since we've been together, close to the start she went to see this guy. We were together almost two months at the time and she hid that behind my back. She told me that they didn't kiss or do anything sexual, but he did hold her hands back and grab her breasts. She said she slapped him for it. Being that I couldn't trust her, I grabbed her phone and texted the guy from her phone pretending to be her, and found out that she was telling the truth. But for some reason I just couldn't trust her still. I've gone to great lengths to try to catch her out, I've driven to her house, followed her home from work without her knowing, and I can never catch her doing anything, so why am I still bothered? Am I really letting my brothers fiance ruin my relationship? How can I get over all this? Any help is APPRECIATED!
MsSydneyLane Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 It is very important in every relationship to have trust. It is not simple to build because it is earned. Make sure to have clear and honest communication with your GF. Forget the past and focus on what's present. Remember this: The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past ... you can't go on in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
Maggotface Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 I read this and think, what's the point in being in a relationship with her? You don't trust her at all, anytime she goes anywhere without you you will drive yourself crazy (which, maybe you should since when she's not with you guys are grabbing her breasts). She cheated on a guy because he accused her of it? How sweet. Not only that but it's not right for you to stalk her when she's not doing anything wrong. This just doesnt seem like a very good relationship at all.
Author mangosmmm Posted July 31, 2010 Author Posted July 31, 2010 Well the point is I still feel like I actually love her. It's called jealousy and there's a lot of it in the relationship. She has said that if I ever cheated on her it would be over between the two of us. Which makes me feel like she would never consider cheating herself. Our relationship is very good. We get along very well most of the times, it's when we get jealous of each other than accusations start flying and people get hurt. Neither one of us want to end the relationship and never thought about it. She's never cheated on me and I've never cheated on her. She's never had sex with another guy while in a relationship. Made out with a guy is the worst. And her ex was a real douchebag and emotionally abusive to her. So no, breaking up isn't an option.
Maggotface Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 No one ever said to break up with her, but this relationship does need to be worked on. It cant be too good if youre following her home to make sure she isnt doing anything bad. She doesnt sound slutty to me although your boyfriend being a "douchebag" is no excuse to cheat on someone.Maybe your brothers fiance just doesnt like her, I dont know anyones friends that would tell their fiances family about what a slut they are.
Author mangosmmm Posted August 1, 2010 Author Posted August 1, 2010 While it does need to be worked on, I feel like most of it is on me. If it was another girl, I think it would be the same way. Basically, I don't trust her because of **** OTHER people have said about her. Some of my best friends have slept with over 20 people, and I don't consider them sluts. But because she is MINE, I want her to be with me and only have ever been with me. I also lost my virginity to this girl and it makes me jealous to think she had sex before me. It's all jealousy on my end and things others have said. That's what I need to figure out how to get past.
Author mangosmmm Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 Just a little update on her, she told me just the other week she had sex at least 5 times with a 16 year old last year, when she was 19! It's getting harder to think of her as not a slut sometimes. I mean, I know it's wrong, and again I don't judge friends this way. So why am I judging HER this way? HELP!
seibert253 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 This is not what you want to hear but I think it's important that you hear this. RUN, don't walk away from her. I'm sorry dude, you don't trust her because she's not trustworthy. This is your gut, intinct, whatever you want to call it telling you this. Your gut feeling is rarely wrong. I'll bet the farm that if you stay with her, down the road she IS going to do something that will rip your heart in two.
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