Username37 Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 For someone who wants their ex back, should there be a line of communication? Yes or no and why? Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Problem is ... shequit you. If she wants you back she needs to ask, beg, grovel, not just say "hi". Most people are too proud for that. I know your situation and that she is contacting you. Ask her straight out what she wants. If she says "making sure you are ok" or "just wanted to say hi" call BS on her and tell her if she isn't trying to reconcile she needs to leave you alone. Go back to that cute thread about "what they really are saying".... Don't be the one to ask to get back together. Think about if she says no, how you are going to feel. I am afraid she is just contacting you to keep you in her web, but you need to decide what is best. xoxo and best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 For someone who wants their ex back, should there be a line of communication? Yes or no and why? Dude - the first thing you need to establish is do you want your ex back (someone who quit on you - broke your heart) or do you want the companionship??? only once you have established this can you truly take the next step. I personally would not keep communication simply because she is the one who quit. I am still at that point where I am trying to figure out if it truly is my ex that I want back or the idea of my ex. During and after the break I saw a side to my ex that I had never seen before, a side that I didnt even know she had to her, a side that was quite mean and a side TBH that I didnt like. A side that showed how someone who once told me she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me one day, and the next behaved like what we had didnt even exist or wasnt worth anything to her. Maybe she had her reasons behind it, maybe she did it because she wanted to make things easier to her, I dont know and I dont think I will ever know. You need to figure out for yourself first why it is that you want her back and then address the situation - does she want you back as her BF or does she want you only as a "friend"??? I dont mean to be harsh, but from the txts that she has been sending you she wants to be "friends" - and if she does want you back as her BF then she needs to make the effort and be open with you, as opposed to wait for you to say something. Trust me I am battling the same battle in my head, today I even contemplated going to her house and making one last final attempt hence the "punch me" thread.... But can I face the heartbreak all over again if I do make a move and she shoots me again - I dont know TBH - maybe it will give me closure, maybe it will break me even more, and who knows maybe she will realise that she wants to be with me, but right now its a risk I am not willing to take at this moment in time, in the future who knows... Link to post Share on other sites
lullaby Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 For someone who wants their ex back, should there be a line of communication? Yes or no and why? I hope you read my answer, I've been following your last posts and replied giving you advice and got no response I think that if you have high hopes, want your ex back, then try to remain NC because whatever your ex gives you are pure breadcrumbs and it will only hurt you more, unless you settle for that but you shouldn't. What is important is how hopeful and emotional you are right now and you should be aware of what you want from that contact. IMO one can open lines of communication with their exes when they no longer want them back, I mean, when you're no longer planning what to do to win them back. When having that communication feels fine and you don't expect anything more from that. That's my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 If you want your EX back let the come to you. If you chase them you'll look needy, weak, and desperate... and that will be a huge turn off. Look at it this way, if you applied for a job and they weren't interested, would they like you more if you stalked and annoyed them to hire you after that? Nope. You would piss them off. Stay NC. Work on yourself. If they want you they'll come back to you. If they don't want you then you have had time to heal and move on. It's a win win. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted July 31, 2010 Author Share Posted July 31, 2010 I'm not going to contact her you guys haha It's just a question. I've been reading a few of those stupid articles online and some say that "opening communication is a good way to get an ex back" Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 I'm not going to contact her you guys haha It's just a question. I've been reading a few of those stupid articles online and some say that "opening communication is a good way to get an ex back" Oh yeah I remember reading all of those before finding LS - I found this place just as I was entering my credit card details and then backed out... wow saved a boatload there... Buddy you are gonna be fine - by the time school starts you will look better, feel better, be emotionally stronger, and will be spreading the love... Link to post Share on other sites
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