he's been in touch and am alternating between telling wife or not?

[Lou2010]

greetings everyone it has been over a week since my last post. I went a way for a few days to stay with a friend and left my phone behind. I was checking my emails to be honest but he didnt send me a single one. I cried a lot but that is natural. Anyways, so I got home and there were 3 texts on my phone from him. my first reaction was to text back and say i have had a fantastic time away even though i hadn't, but then i thought about the NC thing and left it alone. i am feeling really angry again now because it took all my strength to keep to nc i went away to try to deal wth it have come back and he has been in touch. i am angry with him playing happy families and really want to throw a spanner in the works and tell his wife. what would you do in the same situation?!! thanks!!!

[whichwayisup]

Ignore him. Completely and do not email or call his wife. Just because the affair is over and you're in revenge mode (wanting to hurt him, ruin his life) doesn't give you the right to spill the beans to his wife out of spite. Did you ever have thoughts of telling her while in the midst of the affair when things were good? My guess is no.. So, why tell now? Just to piss him off and shake up his life?

 

Stay in NC mode. Best revenge is to live your own life and find happiness again. Let it go and move on..

[fooled once]

YOU have nothing to feel badly about. You kept to NC! Congratulations to you.

 

Do NOT tell his wife. It's not your place to do so. Trust me, she probably knows in the back of her mind anyway.

You are in a much better place, a place of power of YOURSELF, if you let it go. If you cave in and contact him, or his wife, you will have lost your position of power.

Really, you know the wife of the MM that Lou was seeing?

 

Lou,

 

Tell the wife - she has a right to know what scum she is married to. You don't owe him anything.

 

Granted, you didn't think she should know before you started sleeping with her husband or while you were sleeping with her husband. This is where it gets really frustrating for me --- had it not ended, you wouldn't be so concerned about her knowing, would you? Why don't OW think of telling BEFORE the affair or even DURING the affair? I mean, if the guy is so unhappy at home, why not confirm it by calling the wife and talking to her?