I messed up with girlfriend, need adive. I dont know how she feels

[crawkz]

Well, I am currently thinking about my girlfriend, about if I should text her, or leave her alone for some time. I pretty much messed things up, and I cant tell if she wants to leave or to be with me. I need help.

 

If this is too long, skip down 3 paragraphs

 

So, the closest I have been to a realationship was two girls calling me their boyfriend. We didnt really talk, or hang out. Thats my way of saying that this is my first real relationship.

 

I do have some emotional issues, but high school isnt a place where people will hold you and say there there, everything will be alright. So I swallowed my depression, got a good attitude, and over time people liked me. The people that didnt like me were pretty lonely, and one kid I heared many things about him behind his back, none of them good. So I was overall pretty happy.

 

So then I met this girl I'll call C, who sort of liked me. I spoke to her, keeping my good attitude, and she liked me. She liked my best friend first, though. Often got all over him. But he didnt, so then told her that he will never like her, so then liked me... sort of. We became great friends, best friends shortly. We didnt go out though, because I belived I was friendzoned. She is 16 (so am I) and wanted to have sex with some 22 year old douchebag.

 

But I still loved her. C Invited me to her brother's party, and I went. They picked me up in a van, I sat with her, and this other girl, ill call A. C tickled the **** out of me, so I grabbed her hand to block her. Eventually A just grabbed my hand and put it in C's hand,so I leaned over to C, and we held hands. We also held hands going home.

 

Later, C told me that I was being a wimp, and that I was avoiding something. I then found out that she was intrested in me, so I asked her out, she says yes. Things were great. Our dates were great. She loved me, and their wasnt anything she wouldnt do.

 

But that night I asked her out, she said something about us together a year from now. She then asked if she thought we would be together in a year, because she did, and so did I. She said she loved me all the time. I made her really happy. On manycam, I had a picture of me, and I added a text that said "I love Celeste." She took a picture of it, and put it as her phone background. She would say she loved me just because she wanted to. She was so happy and so was I.

 

One month later.

 

She now only said she loved me after I did, not by herself. I still made her happy. She changed her phone background(I didnt tell her about this, I thought it was dumb to get mad about.) She got her permit, and I said in 6 months when she gets her license she should visit me. She laughed at the fact that I thought we were gonna be together in 6 months.

 

I had to tell her, I really loved her, and I still do.

 

So, she was talking to my best friend, and I didnt menchine this, she freaks out over him. Shes like OMG CAMERON, they talk alot too. She called him twice that day. Me- none. I called her, no answer. I asked her on facebook if I can call her, she said nope.

 

I didnt know what was happening now, but I didnt like it. I tried to keep calm... I tried.

 

I said please? Its importaint. She said fine. I told her how I felt, and comming out it seemed like nothing. She said we were doing great, but I didnt want this realtionship to slip.

 

The things that happened over the month has bothered me. Is it now? Well, im too distracted by what happens next.

 

As she was about to hang up, I accidentally hung up. I SWEAR I didnt mean to. It was an accident. Then I got the text. lemme find it.

 

Here:

I tried saying i love u aand u hung up. So im not even gonna bother saying it cuz u obviously don't wanna hear it

 

That devetated me. I sent like 4-5 messages saying I swear to god it was an accident. And it was. But how is she supposed to belive me?

 

She forgave me, and all was well. I really am ashamed of myself. so much.

 

She called later. We spoke, and laughed together. But this was past 2 in the morning, and she was falling asleep. And she did while I was talking.

 

Sorry, I got ahead of myself. I am not a good talker, sometmies our phone calls fell completely silent. It bothered her, and I promised I would fix it.

 

So I woke her up, and she denied that I was talking even though I was. I told her if I'm gonna talk more, you need to listen to me. I let her fall asleep, and said bye, waiting for her to say "I love you." She never did

 

I texted her that she didnt say it. She said she knows, because I made her mad. I called immediately. She yelled at me because I said she wasnt listening because she was sleeping, then hung up.

 

I was devestated even more. So here come the text bombing. I send 2 messages in the next 10 minutes, one at 4:30am, and one at 7:45 when she said earlier that was when she was gonna wake up for the permit test.

 

A, from the party told me a bunch of times that I seem to have no emotions. My best friend said that all the time. Why? Because then it pretty much was true.

 

I did not sleep at all that night, cried on/off about it.

 

I sent the last text at 7:45, and she responded.

 

I need to get ready for the permit test, I'll talk to you later. I sent 3-4 more messages after that apologising. She texted me later.

 

"i love u"

 

I was so ****in happy. Now, heres where I made the biggest possible idiot move, and you wont be proud of me.

 

She invited me to webcam, so I joined. Someone called, and she started talking all happy. She told me to get sleep as I didnt. heres what I said...

 

me: i know what that means

her: what means?

her: u confused me

me: last tie you said that it was because you didnt wanna talk

 

She hung up the phone to the webcam, and typed are you ****ing kidding me.

 

At this point, I had so much regret.

 

I sent her along apology on facebook.

 

She called me later. I told her how Im sorry, and how I would never act that way again. She pointed out that we were together for 30 days. She then asked me what day we went out.

 

We went out 11:15, on June 29.

 

I said June 28.

 

She got mad, and said I didnt care, I told her I swear to god I do, and how importaint she was to me. She didnt belive me.

 

That was all the damage, that I really need repaired. We spoke later that night, I asked her if she thought last 24 hours damaged the relationship, she said she doesent know. I then told her I loved her, and if she still loved me. She replied "I do" I told her that she just made me so ****ing happy. We spoke some about her day. But soon she fell asleep. I texted her "Good night Celeste, i love you so much." As i went to hang up, I heared her read it. She said she guesses shell go to sleep then. I said sorry I thought you were sleeping. I told her good night, and that I loved her, she mumbled it back to me. We spoke today, I managed to make her say lol in a text eventually, so we spoke, but she eventually stopped. The last thing I texted her was if I should cut my hair or not, she told me whatever I want. So I assume shes not that interested in me right now. I ordered her flowes and chocolate arriving to her house tommorrow.

 

I need help as an inexperienced person. Does she still love me as a boyfriend? How can I recover from this? Im also wondering what was with her and my friend. Also, on sunday, she is faking sick to hang out with that 22 year old, because her parents wont be there. A guy that made out with her. Is something going to happen between them?

 

Please help me out. I'm feeling really bad, the past 48 hours have consisted of thinking about her.

Edited July 30, 2010 by crawkz

[jsa100100]

ahhh high school. let me tell you something buddy, and I'm sure you've heard about it before...high school is honestly nothing. 10 years from now you won't even remember high school much (which is where i'm at now). Just make sure nothing traumatic happens (like getting a nickname) and you'll be fine....

[crawkz]

ahhh high school. let me tell you something buddy, and I'm sure you've heard about it before...high school is honestly nothing. 10 years from now you won't even remember high school much (which is where i'm at now). Just make sure nothing traumatic happens (like getting a nickname) and you'll be fine....

 

thanks. actually, she just broke up. she aint mad, she just didnt like me anymore as a boyfriend. she still wants to be friends though...shame. here I was thinking she was begging to have me

[D-Lish]

Sad to say, but she's always wanted your friend. Don't ever put up with being second best- ever.

[crawkz]

Sad to say, but she's always wanted your friend. Don't ever put up with being second best- ever.

 

Probraly. But my friend told her he didnt like her, and never will. Were broken up now, not sure wether to be pissed or not at her. She doesent like me anymore, and wasnt mad. Your right. I wanted to hook back up someday, she even said that too. But your right, I'm not gonna be her boyfriend only when she feels like it. Still love her though.