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My Flight of Fancy is really commitmentphobia


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Posted

How do I know this? Because I just got accused of being a flake and a fake.

 

I'm casually seeing this girl who by all accounts is wonderul, but I couldn't even bring myself to contact her. After 2 weeks of no contact, she decides to text me and accuse me of making excuses and proving myself to be the type of person she thought I was.

 

I have nothing to say in my defense because by all accounts, my behaviour has proven that I'm a horrible person. I can't commit hence I run the other way when confronted. And really I thought I could make this one work because she was the lesser person for having given me a second chance ( after I disappeared on her months back). But I admit, I can't seem to see a stable relationship over the horizon.

 

I think I rather hurt others than get hurt myself.

Posted

Wow- you sound pretty selfish unless I'm missing something? She sounds self confident calling you out on it. IMO........

Posted

I thought you were a chick, did someone hack into your account or something?

Posted
How do I know this? Because I just got accused of being a flake and a fake.

 

I'm casually seeing this girl who by all accounts is wonderul, but I couldn't even bring myself to contact her. After 2 weeks of no contact, she decides to text me and accuse me of making excuses and proving myself to be the type of person she thought I was.

 

I have nothing to say in my defense because by all accounts, my behaviour has proven that I'm a horrible person. I can't commit hence I run the other way when confronted. And really I thought I could make this one work because she was the lesser person for having given me a second chance ( after I disappeared on her months back). But I admit, I can't seem to see a stable relationship over the horizon.

 

I think I rather hurt others than get hurt myself.

 

Probably true, then. And?

Posted
I thought you were a chick, did someone hack into your account or something?
xpaper is bi.
  • Author
Posted
Wow- you sound pretty selfish unless I'm missing something? She sounds self confident calling you out on it. IMO........

 

I have a terrible track record when it comes to dating. I haven't once settled down since my first and last relationship two years ago. I guess that explains alot?

 

I thought you were a chick, did someone hack into your account or something?

 

Surprisingly, I got locked out of my account right after posting this thread.

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Posted
Probably true, then. And?

 

And... for a second I thought I could resolve whatever dissolution had occurred. She texted me that I should be honest since I came across surprisingly fake, which was in itself a slap in the face. I told her that some personal reasons which she took for more excuses and ended with a " whatever" note as a end to our conversation.

 

I texted her that I still liked her but everything was up to her.

 

I'm looking at my phone, but I turned it off because the possibility of her texting me back seems pointless.

Posted

Rather hurt than be hurt? I am not sure about that. If you do the hurting now, it will hurt you in the head later and it will feel almost as bad. Wasted opportunities. Love lost. Being the bad guy. The loss is even greater.

 

Get out there and enjoy relationships and take the good with the bad.

Posted
And... for a second I thought I could resolve whatever dissolution had occurred. She texted me that I should be honest since I came across surprisingly fake, which was in itself a slap in the face. I told her that some personal reasons which she took for more excuses and ended with a " whatever" note as a end to our conversation.

 

I texted her that I still liked her but everything was up to her.

 

I'm looking at my phone, but I turned it off because the possibility of her texting me back seems pointless.

 

 

My "And" meant more, what are you going to do to change yourself to be able to commit, if that's what you want. Only you can change your life.

Posted

y'know, as someone that's in that situation (i have a boyfriend that swears he likes me, but doesn't bother to contact me) - stop being a jerk. justifying it doesn't make the actions any less jerky. Don't put yourself out there to date if you cant maintain a relationship. don;t tell her evwerything is up to her, then turn off your phone. Thats pathetic, a little power play to make yourself feel better and just hurt her a little more if shes dumb enough to fall for it.

 

Everyone gets hurt in dating ok. Perhaps the people that hurt you had the same issues you do now - doesn't make you feel any better, and it doesn't actually matter to the person you're hurting now. Deal with your own sh*t before you put yourself out there.

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