MissJane530 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I'm a newly wed and he and i havent been together for a long time previous to the marriage and lately all i am is irritated and annoyed with him. I feel like he never understands me and most of all i feel like im loosing myself and i hate it. The person i am right now is not the person i was when we first met. I hate to put all the blame on him but part of me cant help it. When we met i was independent had my own place job social life and then a new bf i thought everything was amazing we shortly moved in together and i realized something was wrong. He had a drug problem which he told me he had in the past but overcame it. So on his part he did a lot of lying and sneaking around with that habit and instead of being myself i became this over protective, controlling,"secret agent" snooping around making sure stories matched up etc. I was always told when you love someone you stick with them no matter what. so I stayed and helped him with everything and now he is clean but i fear that in the process of "saving" him i "lost" me. What should i do? I do i become my happy self again this person i only see in blurbs.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Hi Jane, It's a very common scenario. I've been there. If you are willing to try a 12 step program like Alanon, Naranon, Codependents Anonymous, and I am sure there are others, they can help you reconnect with your self and also offer a supportive community. If you DO go, I hope you will give it a chance. It's easy for some of us to think "I have nothing in common with these people," but chances are that we do.
Author MissJane530 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 I thought the 12 step programs were for the people actually addicted. I'm not familiar with these programs. Hi Jane, It's a very common scenario. I've been there. If you are willing to try a 12 step program like Alanon, Naranon, Codependents Anonymous, and I am sure there are others, they can help you reconnect with your self and also offer a supportive community. If you DO go, I hope you will give it a chance. It's easy for some of us to think "I have nothing in common with these people," but chances are that we do.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 They exist, all right. Addictions are considered a "family" disease and they do affect all relationships. The programs I mentioned are all for the family members who have been impacted by another's drinking and or using. Hope you can find help and support - it's there!
Author MissJane530 Posted August 1, 2010 Author Posted August 1, 2010 They exist, all right. Addictions are considered a "family" disease and they do affect all relationships. The programs I mentioned are all for the family members who have been impacted by another's drinking and or using. Hope you can find help and support - it's there! thanks very much
CrayonAngel Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Miss Jane, I have to agree with the previous poster. I too, have been right where you are. It happens all the time. PLEASE seek individual counseling.
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