TheUnthoughtKnown Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I'm feel I'm going through different emotional shifts in the last 4 months since my break up. I've maintained NC for the last 6 or 7 weeks now, and it seems my emotions just move back and forth, from one minute hating the girl for ending us and for all she's put me through, to the next wishing I could at least be her friend and continue to have someone as amazing as her in my life. I feel like I'm fooling myself into believing I could just be friends with her in an attempt to create an excuse to break NC. I admit I got drunk one night a few weeks ago and text her. She didn't reply. I'm glad she didn't because the state I was in I would have said something stupid. But I just want to sit down with her and say "look, this is everything that's been going through my head in the last 4 months! This is EVERYTHING I've been aching to say to you regarding the end of our relationship. I want you to listen and please understand how I feel!" I'm considering texting her again and asking to meet. I seen her during a night out with some friends. I was having a great time till I seen her. She looked just as gorgeous as I remembered, and I stood close by with my friends, hoping she'd come over and say hi, but she didn't. That really hurt. I ended up punching a wall in frustration, which did a bit of damage to my hand, though luckily she didn't see. I don't know what to do next, but NC doesn't seem to be working, I still think bout her all the time, and I'm now considering another solution to end this emotional bi-polar attitude I'm going through. Its exhausting.
YellowShark Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I don't know what to do next, but NC doesn't seem to be working, I still think bout her all the time, and I'm now considering another solution to end this emotional bi-polar attitude I'm going through. Its exhausting. Stay NC. You can't be "her friend." I am at 3 months of NC and still think about my EX all the time. But I know NC is for me to heal and to realize that it is over. My advice is chin up, stay busy, socialize, eat healthy, exercise. Realize - as I did - that she is toast, gone, a ghost. She cannot be "your friend" because it will just kill you inside. Ya... it totally sucks but there it is.
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