longgunner97 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 What to do, Me and my Fiance(Jess) have been together for 6 1/2 years.Here recently my parents started having problems in their relationship.Now my Jess has decided she wants to take a break.You see I am living 300 miles away from her right now and I know for a fact she isnt cheating on me.I have let her down in the past.I havent cheated on her or anything like that.I have had one dead end job right after the other.I have made her promises that I couldnt keep.I am a high school drop out and I am wanting to get my GED.She has showed me love when I havent shown her love and I havent always been there for her.We decided to call off the engagement be BF/GF.You see we have been together since she was 17 and we love each other like crazy and I know she is the one for me.She hasnt had much time to do things with her friends because right out of high school she went in to college and right into working.Both her grandparents got sick a few years apart and she always helped take care of them and I always felt like I was being left out and I guess that got in the way a little.She says she just needs a few weeks to be able to go do things with her friends without feeling guilty about leaving me at home by myself when I am there.She says she always feels like she needs to be right there with me.When we talk she tells me she loves me and I know she does.I went to see her over the weekend so we could sit down and talk.And I havent always the type to sit down and talk.I have always held everything in.While I was there with her she asked me where I wanted to sleep.I said do you want me to sleep on the couch and she said no.And we laid in bed and held each other and talked all night.I am wanting to get my GED so I can get a good stable job.I know she is worried whether or not I will be able to provide for her.But it is to hard for me to concentrate on anything being away from her.She means the world to me and I will do anything to keep our relationship together.She has told me after a few weeks I can move back to Georgia and get a job and work on my GED and that she thinks she want to be with me but she just needs some me time to beable to go do things.I am so scared of losing her.I havent slept but 6 hours in 3 days and have to force myslef to eat.She tells me she doesnt want to lose me either,and she thinks she wants to be with me.I'm just tired of feeling the way I do.I know I have made mistakes and I want to make them right.I am tired of cry, tired of not being happy.I am not happy where I am at.The only way I can be happy is when I am with her.When I was with her over the weekend I was happier than I have been in a while but I didnt show it because I know I was going to be leaving.Sorry I just had to vent a little bit.
cookie2 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Get ready for a harsh post... sorry for your situation. You can never know for a fact that she isn't cheating on you. Believe me I have learned this the hard way. You can trust, but you can never know. If she wanted to be with you, then she would be with you. Every day that she is away, is a day that she doesn't want to be with you. If you want her back, you need to sort yourself out. Go to the gym, change your diet, build your confidence. Fake it til you make it. If she wants you back then she doesn't want whining or crying down the phone, she wants you to be a man, and doing all of these things will help a great deal. If she doesn't then, well, you'll be in a much better shape for the next fish in the sea.
Treasa Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 If she wants space, give it to her. And I think you need to start focusing on yourself. Get your education under your belt. Get a stable job. THEN you can start worrying about having a relationship again, even if it's not with her.
DustySaltus Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 It's amazing how a woman asks for space when she is already 300 miles from you. It's a cowardly response from her. She probably wanted to get out there and experience new things. It sucks, but unfortunately at such a young age people tend to think about themselves a lot more than any relationship they might be in. That's why a lot of them don't last. I think you have a developed a plan for yourself OUTSIDE of the relationship to become a better person. Stick with that plan. Put all the energies that you put into the relationship back into yourself. You'd be amazed at what you can accomplish. As far as her, give her all the space she needs. Read the links in my signature, all the best.
silic0ntoad Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 If she needs a break she is most likely planning her exit, or seeing if whatever else that caught her eye is going to pan out. IMHO, put your foot down. "Be with me, or not with me" is the best approach. Approach it with confidence. "If not, mail me the ring, and good luck." It will hurt, but a break or space generally means a preliminary break up for the querant to test the waters, and see if they are ok without YOU. Best of luck.
Author longgunner97 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 Well She is going on a trip this weekend with her best friend.I know for a fact that she isnt cheating on me and she does love me.She isnt the type of person to lead somebody on.I have a close relationship with her parents and they tell me everything.She said she was going on the trip to get away from everything and think about what she wants to do in life as far as her career goes.She said she is torn between being a cosmotoligist which she already is or being a nurse.She is gonna be back on monday.I dont know if I should talk to her after she gets back or keep giving her the space she wants.I dont want to push her away.We have been together for 6 1/2 years and I just cant shut my heart off and not talk to her about what is going on.I just dont know what to say anymore.It has been a week now and we talk 3 or 4 times a day.She is the one who always calls me, except for last night I called her to let her know we had to take my grandmother to the hospital.My heart tells me everything is going to be fine between us but my mind keeps telling it isnt.I feel like I am about to go crazy.She is my first real love and I have never felt the feelings and the connection I have with her with anybody else before.
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