nokturn Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Hey guys, First off, I apologize for making another thread so soon after my first one here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t239264/ I feel like this one should’ve come first. Anyway, let me cut to the chase. My other thread was about the possibility of a second reconciliation – that is, get back together again after having reconciled once, and broken up again. The reason I ask is that lately, she’s been doing things that make getting over her, NC, and moving on very difficult and confusing. She has been contacting me on and off either through text or Facebook – but I have not been responding. The following might sound petty and immature, but please let me explain. A few weeks after the breakup, I decided to remove her from my friends list. After all, I didn’t want to see her updates or feel the temptation of checking her profile and see something that would hurt. A few weeks more went by and I got a message from her on there asking in disbelief, “Did you really unfriend me?” Mind you, before all of this at one point I had “agreed” to be friends after the breakup. So I just replied to her in a light joking manner, “Lol are you yelling at me now?” I didn’t expect what came after that. She got very angry saying how I could’ve just told her I really didn’t want to be friends and a “so you don’t want me around, it will help you out, then fine..” All the rest of her replies were her saying how I didn’t want her to be a part of her life and it’s like I didn’t trust her, etc. I was pretty shocked at her reaction to all of this. It made me wonder why all of this still mattered to her, when she initiated BOTH breakups, and it’s what she wants. I know she’s smarter than to think that we can truly be friends. So anyway, for some reason I became frustrated with the situation and called her just to clarify my reasons for doing it (moving on, doing what I needed to do). As honest as I can be, I didn’t like the fact that she was angry so I just told her how at first I felt I needed to do that but eventually realized I didn’t have to. Then I offered (to get her off my back) to put her back on my friends list. I told her she could accept or not, and it was up to her. That phone conversation ended in good terms after some small talk after all that silly stuff. Later I saw that she had accepted the request. Now, lately I’ve been wondering about that particular time and why it upset her that I took her off my list. For all you Facebook users, we all know that if you’re not friends with someone, you can’t really see their status updates, etc. I’ve been noticing that lately she’s been putting up statuses that really made me wonder about her intentions. Most of them are song lyrics, but they all seem similar – sad. And she’s constantly been putting them up and I have to be honest, I wonder if she just wants me to see them (but why?). Forgive me for putting them up on here, but I just want to let you guys see what I’m talking about: “I’m upset therefore Scallywags” (Scallywags is a bar) “I’d like to wish it all away…” “If I had a clue I’d know exactly what to do” (lyrics) “The world has turned and left me here, just like I was before you appeared..” (another lyric) “Sitting on the bed, lying wide awake... all I know is I gotta get away from me...” (lyric) “…por que…” (why in Spanish) “<X3” (broken heart?) “Does your conscience bother you? Tell the truth…” (lyric) What could all this mean? I feel like the reason she was upset that time when I removed her from my list was because she knew I wouldn’t be able to see these things she put up. Like I said, they all seem to relate to each other and sound sad. It’s almost as if she wants me to see them and that they’re directed at me? Anyway, I haven’t been doing any status updates or doing any type of activities on there because I really want her to see that I’ve disappeared, part of NC right? Another thing I’d like to point out is she contacted me this past Sunday on Facebook through message. Asking how everything was and that she hadn’t spoken to me in a long time, hoping everything was ok. Why? Why is she doing all this? I haven’t contacted or replied to her in over a month..
whatadeer26 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I had a similar situation. I deleted her and she yelled at me, called me immature (all through texts). I had tried to explain that I couldn't stand the sight of us not together, made me sad, etc. She just took it as I was doing something bad to her. Anyway since the break-up she has never agreed to meet up with me to talk or even given me the courtesy of a conversation over the phone. I got BS reasons through texts that she wanted a break. One was actually that I don't think that she thinks she appreciates me. What? Stemming from one time we went to the movies and she didn't say thank you, so I told her "you're welcome". One night about 3 weeks later a friend commented on how depressing her FB status was (her parents split before she broke it with me), so I knew what was up and I drunk texted her. We talked a bit and the next day while I was at work she friended me again on FB. My point is they want to know what we are doing. They don't want to be shut out of our lives. I HATE FB!!! The same way you deleted her because you kept looking, they want to see what we are doing. I am exactly like you, where we don't want to hurt their feelings so we friend or accept their friend request. Atleast that is how I fell.
Wings Of Love Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 My point is they want to know what we are doing. They don't want to be shut out of our lives. I HATE FB!!! The same way you deleted her because you kept looking, they want to see what we are doing. I am exactly like you, where we don't want to hurt their feelings so we friend or accept their friend request. Atleast that is how I fell. I think you hit the nail on the head there. My ex left me February last year. For the week or two I kept him on my my FB friends list after that I was forever seeing posts he'd made about other girls. It hurt, so I deleted him. He added me many times after that, and I accepted once or twice, only for him to post those things again. Finally I blocked him. We got back in touch last month, after 10 months NC...he let it slip that he's been keeping tabs on me through a second facebook. He's been going through all my pictures, seeing all my status updates and keeping an eye on all my FB activity. He simply said he wanted to 'check I was ok'. They just want to keep an eye on us. Whether that's because they're eager to keep us keen on them or because they genuinely care, I don't know. I think it would be best to tell her it's too hard to be friends right now and block her. If she really cares, she'll understand.
Recommended Posts