wierdmunky Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 How do you tell your over exaggerating and sensitive mother that she does that. Not to mention she tells ME I'm the sensitive one so I have to suck it up to her, and can't tell her anything or her whole world falls apart, and a long line of fire darts come at me. Meanwhile, everyone thinks she's just nice because she's that way when she's in public. If only they knew the real her at home. I also think that I'm too old to be complaining about my mother so I keep all the frustration in, but I can't take this anymore! Her emotional baggage makes me ignore her, and it just makes it worse because she thinks I'm not giving her attention. Help me! She exaggerates everything from the time, friends/aquaintances appearances, and other friend related drama. She will exaggerate for people to react to her advantage, and I don't give in to it. She lives with me though, and I go to school and stay at home a lot mostly because if I don't she rattles on forever about how I'm not. Down to every fault I have. I don't want to take the beating anymore. She is never there for me, and I have emotionally removed myself from being that kind of reliant on her, but the way she acts is like she insists I be that way. She has had many times to be there for me, like when me and my 7 year fiance broke up (she just scoffed at my situation) When my dad was diagnosed with cancer she thinks no one else is hurting, and when they sent my little brother away. She is very guarded and expects me to be vulnerable. If I don't take a stand now, she will always think she can do this to me:(
turnera Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I think you're old enough to start distancing yourself.
Shakz Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Try to get your mom some friends. She's old and feels behodling, so she's unhappy. She takes it out on you. Get some women near to her age to take an interest in her. Misery loves company.
Author wierdmunky Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 thanks for the reply's. She does have friends, but at the same time I don't really think she trusts friends period. I'm just wondering how I can let go of this residual animosity towards her. I'm not talking about small bickering. I'm talking about big moments in my life that I needed her to be there for me, and she was not there to comfort, but did the exact opposite in mocking what happened to me. I've been brought up to never cry, to put the feelings aside and continue on. Because of this I've learned not to reach out to them when I'm in some emotional pain. When I was a child and I did, I was just told to stop crying. I'm not lazy. I do my part around here cooking, cleaning, and helping out in the areas that I can until school is over. I just have this wall against her in case. I also know she has changed over the years and has gotten softer, but I have to let go of that feeling against her in order to not be affected by anything she intentionally/unintentionally says to me. She seems to want a closer relationship, but it's hard with the kind of defenses she has. It's not about distancing myself, it's about getting closer.
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