ladygaga Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 We are over. Just had to post this story to warn all you OM/OW out there. Don't date anyone married! If they are married, they haven't made up their minds yet!! We met 9 months ago, fell in love. 5 months ago, he confessed to BS about me, told her he wasn't in love with her and wasn't excited by her sexually at all, admitted he had sex with a bunch of different girls before falling in love with me, packed up all his stuff and MOVED OUT. So, we spent 4 months together every night, great relationship, common interests, great sex, no argument except for the "when are you divorcing" type stuff. I took a 2 week trip to Europe, looked into his phone records (we have each other's passwords), and found out he had been calling up escorts. I'm a very liberal person and don't see escorts as cheating, but he doesn't know that. However, the way he handled the situation by breaking up instead of admitting it was terrible. He still denies seeing any of them btw. Called him from France, asked him what is going on? He told me he couldn't talk and hung up. Next day, I received a break-up email from him. Cried like hell, came back from Europe, he begged me to get back together. I tried for a few days, then realized he started going to couple's counseling with his wife. THAT, I really mind. He said he was there to communicate with his wife as he has a 2 year old with her. I didn't buy it. We went to Las Vegas for a weekend together, but the wife thing was bugging me some more and we had a huge fight. I broke up with him. He didn't call back, which was great. 2 weeks go by, and we talked to get closure. Went to dinner, looked at his phone, and he's now texting dirty sex messages to his wife. The wife is another pathetic case. She finds out he had sex with a bunch of girls before me, watched him move out for 3 months, tell all her friends / relatives that their marriage was falling apart, and now wants to work it out with him again?! WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! THEY F*CKING DESERVE EACH OTHER! So glad that this is over!!!
carhill Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 The hard part is honing one's people-picker to recognize and avoid these Hoovers. Obviously, cheating can be and usually is unhealthy in and of itself, but cheaters come in all flavors. You happened to get a chocolate covered turd. Sorry about that.... The interesting observation that I've made is such turds tend to paint others who cheat with the same brush they paint the chocolate covering on themselves with, meaning they project their own behaviors and psychology upon others whom they know to cheat. It's like liars expect those around them to be lying to them too. I know a small number of couples who've experienced multiple affairs on both sides and the outside world views them, by appearances, as 'perfect' couples. Your MM likely is one of those. Very attractive, smooth and convincing. TBH, I'm wary of anyone who appears attractive and convincing. We all have our issues BTW, it's not 'over' yet. He'll be back, probably repeatedly. I hope you're up for that. Best wishes
Author ladygaga Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 Nope, it's over. He told me to cease communication as he wants to work it out with his wife and give it a real shot. He gave me keys to his apartment and I gave them back cuz she's moving back in. I packed up my stuff and left. I know very clearly now that this is the type of man I cannot marry. I love him, yes, but my head says NO now. So it's a good time to break up cuz days apart really helps me think straight. If he's around 24/7 I'm likely to cave. I'm determined to meet new guys this weekend too. Hurray for me!
scatterd Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I dont intend on being mean but his wife took him back but what made you think he would treat you any better?If he cheats with you he will cheat on you.Now you can help others to understand why not to be with a cheater. Good luck
carhill Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I'm determined to meet new guys this weekend too. Hurray for me! OK, have fun. I've been one of 'those' guys, so please be gentle
White Flower Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 OK, have fun. I've been one of 'those' guys, so please be gentle Carhill, you're being terribly terrible and wicked tonight. You made me laugh.
StarChick Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Carhill, you're being terribly terrible and wicked tonight. You made me laugh. I know, right? His turd analogy made me snort/laugh very loud, and I have to be quiet! ladygaga, I'm happy that you didn't spend any MORE time on this guy. Go out and have fun. The veil has been lifted and you are free to go!
Fieldsofgold Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 ladygaga, It ain't over.. He will be back... I have a bad feeling in my gut that says this is true.
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Hopefully Mr. Chocolate Covered Turd will find out the hard way that you can't go back to someone who isn't there. Run, Gaga - there's no reason to wait around for round two. By that time the chocolate will have worn thin, and you'll smell him coming.
2sure Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 ,found out he had been calling up escorts. I'm a very liberal person and don't see escorts as cheating, but he doesn't know that. However, the way he handled the situation by breaking up instead of admitting it was terrible. He still denies seeing any of them btw. But you got back together with him: I tried for a few days, then realized he started going to couple's counseling with his wife. THAT, I really mind. But you got back together with him: We went to Las Vegas for a weekend together The wife is another pathetic case. She finds out he had sex with a bunch of girls before me, .......now wants to work it out with him again?! I am glad for you that you ended this and hope you do stay gone when he once again pleads to see you. But are missing a great big point here that you need to see to be able to really learn something here. The problem here is with the guy. You and his wife behaved the same.
Mimolicious Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 The wife is another pathetic case. She finds out he had sex with a bunch of girls before me, watched him move out for 3 months, tell all her friends / relatives that their marriage was falling apart, and now wants to work it out with him again?! WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! THEY F*CKING DESERVE EACH OTHER! So glad that this is over!!! Classic! What does it make you? Just wondering... You knew all of this as well and thought he was the greatest stuff on earth. Thing is he also did it to you, so now you're not oh so "special". Yet you got back with him several times. Now you want to trash his W? They are M and have a child, the least they are entitled to is to "work it out". You can't actually judge her since you have been involved with the same dude, experienced his lying and still gave him chances. Your MM sounds like a "sex addict". It's actually in style nowadays. He needs help. God bless his W, she is going to need some serious prayers to not get some STD.
stillafool Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 God bless his W, she is going to need some serious prayers to not get some STD. His wife definitely deserves better than him and that's for sure.
donnamaybe Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 The wife is another pathetic case. She finds out he had sex with a bunch of girls before me, watched him move out for 3 months, tell all her friends / relatives that their marriage was falling apart, and now wants to work it out with him again?! WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! THEY F*CKING DESERVE EACH OTHER! I just don't get why an OW would rip on the wife. After all, YOU knew he was a cheater, and YOU were willing to take him.
Mimolicious Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 His wife definitely deserves better than him and that's for sure. Too bad for her that she doesn't see it that way. We can all do the "tough" talk and say that she is "pathetic" and she "deserves" this loser. In reality she has a kid and time invested with the loser. Obviously she hasn't (like the market) hit bottom yet. When someone gets fed up there is nothing anyone can do about it. Who's to judge us...
Rifareal Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Better stay away from that guy and her wife or x-wife. You know your better off without him and you will find the right one.
YellowShark Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Just had to post this story to warn all you OM/OW out there. Don't date anyone married! Great advice ladygaga. Because if they cheat on their spouses... they'll cheat on you. And yet, I am always amazed when OW are surprised that the MM is cheating on them. I received a break-up email from him. He didn't even have the balls to say it to your face. How typical of this kinda guy. Went to dinner, looked at his phone, and he's now texting dirty sex messages to his wife. Ugh. But what did you expect? Even with all his "promises" and counselling he'll be cheating on the wife in due time... don't you worry.
Author ladygaga Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 I have a bad feeling in my gut that says this is true. Oh, I'm not waiting for round 2. I'm not sure why you guys think he will be back? It was his decision after all to give it a real shot with his wife. I'm too young to deal with this drama. I've been an excellent girlfriend, paying my share of expensive restaurants, gifts and such, but I now want a guy with spontaneity, great abs, full head of hair and a whole lotta fun. I'm 26, he's 38. Not waiting - I gave my phone number away with other people towards the end of our relationship because I knew I was done!!
Lou2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 you seem to be coping really well. if I might say so 'what a jerk off'! this must have been a real head messer stay strong you will be fine you are young with your world ahead of you his life sounds totally f**ked.
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