tigressA Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I never really thought about having a type or wanting certain specs from a guy, but there are definitely things I prefer. Looking back at past relationships and knowing what I like there are a few things that stand out: I like men who are involved in the Science or Mathematical field. A lot of posters mentioned they like writers, artists, musicians, etc. Oh no, not me. I really enjoy the company of someone who is more analytical/logical. My ex has a degree in Bio Physics and my current boyfriend is also involved in Physics. I like the way their brains work. I prefer shorter men. 5'8 is on the verge of being too tall. My boyfriend is 5'6. He is perfect for me! (I'm 5'3). I like darker hair and dark eyes. Everything else, within reason, is fair game. This is basically the same as what I end up going for in a guy. The last several guys I dated are all in engineering. It's like opposites attract since I'm definitely more into theater, writing, etc. I prefer men close to my height; I'm 5'7" and my current guy is 5'8". I also like dark features--hair, eyes, and skin too.
Author SassyKitten Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 Honesty, respect, loyalty, and friendship are huge ones for me too. So many things on my list are essential if I'm going to build a life with someone without sacrificing who I am in the process. Not so much things like eye color, but definitely an interest in travelling, sticking by me, liking my cats, etc. are critical.
lso802 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Attractive... to me. Can be silly and serious. Always strives to improve themselves. Kind. Patient. Loyal. Must love my dogs. Strong sense of self. Isn't dependent on approval from others.
AD1980 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 No wonder im single im nobodies physical type:laugh:
shadowplay Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 (edited) I probably did misread the OP, in that I gave a list of requirements rather than my usual type. While I don't have a narrow type, I usually go for guys who are really smart, artsy, off-beat and independent minded, a bit vulnerable, maybe a tad dorky in their interests, and passionate. Never been so much into the science-y guys. Edited July 30, 2010 by shadowplay
Author SassyKitten Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 A better way of defining my type in a nutshell would be: Healthy, Open-Minded, Adventurous, Nurturing, Thoughtful, Spontaneous, Devoted Intelligence is a huge one for me, but I go more for stylish intelligence than nerdy intelligence!
gamma1 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Intelligence is a huge one for me, but I go more for stylish intelligence than nerdy intelligence! What's the differnce in your opinion? I think that my intelligence is generally nerdy intelligence and that has not served me well in dating. In fact, sometimes I feel just want to hide it altogether. Can nerdy intelligence be turned into stylish intelligence?
Author SassyKitten Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 This may differ among various people here, but in my book: Nerdy Intelligence = Book smarts but not so much in the way of street smarts, not too comfortable interacting with groups of people, etc. Stylish Intelligence = Book smarts combined with a healthy lifestyle, interests include learning as well as other things, such as staying active and travelling.
brainygirl Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 My type = will put up with me. I don't get super picky about who I'll at least give a chance on a date. But in general I like a man who is close to my age but not younger than me. So 28-35, but I've dated guys as much as ten years older than me and three years younger. In general I like men with nice eyes. The guy I see now has the most intense blue eyes, I tend to stare if I'm not careful. I like a guy who isn't super thin and isn't very very over weight. But I'm not too picky about build. More than physicality and appearance, I am attracted to a smart guy who will talk politics, pop culture, nerdy stuff, movies, kids, philosophy, and the news with me. In other words, he's smart AND well rounded in his interests. He's not uptight and has a sense of humor and can enjoy the occasional horror film or filthy joke, but isn't such a potty mouth that I can't bring him around kids. What's funny is that I just described the guy I'm seeing now.
gamma1 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 This may differ among various people here, but in my book: Nerdy Intelligence = Book smarts but not so much in the way of street smarts, not too comfortable interacting with groups of people, etc. Stylish Intelligence = Book smarts combined with a healthy lifestyle, interests include learning as well as other things, such as staying active and travelling. Thanks. That description is very helpful. The book smarts come naturally to me, but turning it into stylish intelligence will take work. It does seem possible to make the changes with enough effort, which is very encouraging.
Author SassyKitten Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 Thanks. That description is very helpful. The book smarts come naturally to me, but turning it into stylish intelligence will take work. It does seem possible to make the changes with enough effort, which is very encouraging. It's easy enough, and I know speaking from my own experience. Keep your interests that involve learning, but throw some other interests into the mix as well. Travelling and yoga are my big ones.
brainygirl Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Thanks. That description is very helpful. The book smarts come naturally to me, but turning it into stylish intelligence will take work. It does seem possible to make the changes with enough effort, which is very encouraging. I don't think you should have to change who you are to attract someone. I mean, you can polish up your conversation skills and stay current with what's going on in the world. I'm a nerd who tends to blush at dirty jokes and likes to talk comic books when I find someone who knows what they are talking about. I spent literally years hiding what a nerd I am. It made me miserable and I came off as a phony. Lately, I freely admit being a nerd. And you know what? There are nice guys out there who can appreciate a girl who's a nerd.
gamma1 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 It's easy enough, and I know speaking from my own experience. Keep your interests that involve learning, but throw some other interests into the mix as well. Travelling and yoga are my big ones. I've started to expand interests and to work out more. The toughest part is interacting with new people. I sometimes freeze up and I won't get the chance to ask a woman out if I don't even walk over and say hello to her. I'm sure practice and not being so afraid of making a mistake will make it easier.
spookie Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 IMO most of y'all's lists are just describing the ideal man/ woman, or your SO. "Willing to take kids on epic vacations" is not really a "type". In my book, some "types" are: -nerd -gamer -hipster -art student -WASP -gangbanger -uptight executive -good ole boy -"nice guy" -hillbilly Personally, I'm really happy with my nerdy hillbilly.
Author SassyKitten Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 IMO most of y'all's lists are just describing the ideal man/ woman, or your SO. "Willing to take kids on epic vacations" is not really a "type". In my book, some "types" are: -nerd -gamer -hipster -art student -WASP -gangbanger -uptight executive -good ole boy -"nice guy" -hillbilly Personally, I'm really happy with my nerdy hillbilly. Just like I'm impossible to be pidgeonholed into one of those types, I also tend to like men who are likewise impossible to pidgeonhole.
spookie Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Just like I'm impossible to be pidgeonholed into one of those types, I also tend to like men who are likewise impossible to pidgeonhole. Then why mention "type" at all...? By asking about it, you're implying that people CAN be categorized. If you and your love interests don't fit into any of the categories I listed, what "types" are you, then? What are the characteristics of the people you share the "type" with? I would still argue that "willing to take kids on epic vacations" is an odd criteria by which to be categorized.
Author SassyKitten Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 Type is a strange word I suppose, but being willing to take the kids on epic trips is not setting my standards too high! Ok, "Intelligent, active, and adventurous" would be my type then.
gamma1 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I don't think you should have to change who you are to attract someone. I mean, you can polish up your conversation skills and stay current with what's going on in the world. Interesting definitions, but I think the two kinds of intelligence can overlap. My boyfriend easily falls into the nerdy intelligence. He is very book smart and is not comfortable at all interacting with people. This is a person who gets worked up having to talk to a professor that he has spent the entire semester with. He is socially awkward to say the least. They do overlap, both containing book smarts. The way I see it is some who have book smarts are well rounded and some are not. I'm not as well rounded as I should be so I have to work on it. What I've done up until now hasn't worked very well. I see stylish intelligence and being a well rounded intelligent person as about the same thing.
Knittress Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Big heart, big brain, pretty eyes. Healthy and madly in love with me.
shadowplay Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 IMO most of y'all's lists are just describing the ideal man/ woman, or your SO. "Willing to take kids on epic vacations" is not really a "type". In my book, some "types" are: -nerd -gamer -hipster -art student -WASP -gangbanger -uptight executive -good ole boy -"nice guy" -hillbilly Personally, I'm really happy with my nerdy hillbilly. According to your definition of type I'd describe mine as: artsy-renegade-geek
MrNate Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 IMO most of y'all's lists are just describing the ideal man/ woman, or your SO. "Willing to take kids on epic vacations" is not really a "type". In my book, some "types" are: -nerd -gamer -hipster -art student -WASP -gangbanger -uptight executive -good ole boy -"nice guy" -hillbilly Personally, I'm really happy with my nerdy hillbilly. Yep.
Raderick Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Guy, turning 23 on August 26th Age: Anywhere between 19-23. Idealistically, not younger than my sister (she just turned 20) Appearance: - No shorter than 5'0. - Must not be overweight. I don't mind a bit of meat (think Erika Christensen) but nothing more. I lost 80lbs, so can you. If you can't, it on you. - Don't mind tattoos or piercings, but don't like it when women go overboard. - Very cute face - Hair that at least goes to her ear. Don't like women with man-like haircuts. Personality: - Has no kids (sorry, can't be a father this early in my life) - Share some similar music, but doesn't have to like EVERYTHING (i.e. someone I can go to concerts with and enjoy myself) - Doesn't do drugs. I'm fine with marijuana, but nothing more. Simply don't have the tolerance. - Not a heavy drinker - Can appreciate sarcasm and slapstick humor - LOVES to cuddle/physical contact - Not an evangelical or too wound into their religion. - Specifically is looking for a long term, romantic relationship. I don't want a FWB, I don't want a one night stand, I don't want to be a rebound or an in-between. - Is emotionally mature for her age. - Has street smarts and can state an opinion and back it up. Also not afraid to get into a debate and not feel offended when I have opposing views. Any of these could be omitted if the right person comes to mind, but that's just off the top of my head.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 - Is one consistent positive personality who I can learn what flies with her - Has her own interest and ambitions and is not co-dependent on me - Is bright and worldly knowledgeable so she is able to get and appreciate my humor - Is confident but not an exhibitionist or attention craving - Is feminine in every way. - Does not feel need to compete with me - Is self conscious about hygiene and odors so that she is either always nicely scented or is one to excuse herself and freshen up when she knows we're about to get sexual - Likes sophisticated music, art and media and is not one to fall asleep and have no opinion or stays awake and still has no opinion because what we've just experienced was over her head - Is not a big pleasure chaser when it comes to eating. This is for my own health as I need to police how I think in order to stay within a good weight range. - Does not believe in god or religious crappola, is hip enough to not fall for sensationalist gossip-based media fodder, is not superstitious, does not consider herself politically conservative or right wing - Dresses and makes up pleasingly feminine with no fixations on tatts or body art or piercing. I admire someone who knows who they are and doesn't need to go to extremes for attention. - Gives head and is open to my cues. Enjoys getting head and gives good cues on how I should change to please her best. - Not too tall or too short so we are comfortable walking arm in arm. - Absolutely does not smoke - Is not a pot head but OK with a toke on special occasions - Is not big on alcohol but can have a few drinks on occasions. Does not have some wild personality shift when she does drink. Knows how to have a good time. Likes to dance and likes the idea of touch dancing. Cool with us both learning together how to step it up. - Not into dangerous sports like skiing, rock climbing or sky diving. I don't like risking my life and or hers on frivolous thrill seeking. - It would be really cool if she played a musical instrument. I do. - Relates to my vision of the newly possible and backs my desire to break new ground--be the woman behind the man and not the complication who defeats him. Looks issues are last and perhaps least. But what matters most is a pretty face, sexy smile, nice eyes and hair. Weight between 130 and 180. I can overlook cellulite, kinda like stretch marks (I don't know why), would like firm and perky tits but not a big issue if she has saggy tits if everything above is hitting good marks. Don't care too much for skin above the breast looking like sliced salami from over exposure to sun. Kinda like darker complexions as they "weather" more nicely than a pale face whose hangup for looking tanned (darker) has made her look burned out. Obviously I am not as young as many people on this forum so my tastes are more realistic about who she is rather than how she looks.
MrNate Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Big heart, big brain, pretty eyes. Healthy and madly in love with me. I think we should win the medal for 'shortest lists' lol.
zengirl Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 This may differ among various people here, but in my book: Nerdy Intelligence = Book smarts but not so much in the way of street smarts, not too comfortable interacting with groups of people, etc. Stylish Intelligence = Book smarts combined with a healthy lifestyle, interests include learning as well as other things, such as staying active and travelling. Hmm. . . I think being nerdy is kinda stylish. I'd never denigrate "nerdy" by adding any bad qualities to it. For me, nerdy is more like "Would you pick a Vonnegut novel, a comic book, an RPG game, or a science lecture over Dancing With the Stars (some girly show)/shopping/watching a football game (any sport)?" If you would, you instantly get awesome points in my book. I think I'm really nerdy for a girl, and boys have always dug it. I am a bit of an introvert at heart (I prefer to be in small groups, rather than large ones, if given the choice), but nobody ever realizes it. I'm definitely a nerd, but I've traveled and I'm pretty active. (Honestly, I hate gyms and don't understand runners, though.) I tend to be into boys who are similar, at least in spirit, though not in exact interests. I never know what anyone means by "street smarts." That's something that I think only applies as a kid---when you get older, it's just "life experience" that guides your social/lifestyle smarts. And that's a bit more complex than the whole adage about "street smarts." I don't think you should have to change who you are to attract someone. I mean, you can polish up your conversation skills and stay current with what's going on in the world. I'm a nerd who tends to blush at dirty jokes and likes to talk comic books when I find someone who knows what they are talking about. I spent literally years hiding what a nerd I am. It made me miserable and I came off as a phony. Lately, I freely admit being a nerd. And you know what? There are nice guys out there who can appreciate a girl who's a nerd. Yeah, I basically publicize I'm a nerd. (I mean, I don't force people to talk about nerdy topics they're not into.) The only people who are going to "hold it against you" are the ones still holding onto the jock/popular kid mentality from high school, and who on Earth wants to talk to them anyway? Most smart people dig other smart people. Other mature people who aren't necessarily nerdy themselves will see it as a, "Eh. Whatever." Then again, I don't think I could date a non-nerd. There are levels of nerdiness, of course, and I'm nowhere near the deepest level. But, I don't think it's the nerdiness that makes people socially-avoidant, etc. I've met many people who lack "street smarts" (going with this meaning life experience and/or common sense), who can't deal with people, and who aren't the least bit nerdy.
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