So what is your "type"?

[SassyKitten]

Thought this could be an interesting thread, as so many have recommended I write down a list of everything I'm looking for in a partner. Here goes:

 

*Between ages 25 and 40. I'm 28, but then 10 years younger would be OK if I'm in my mid-30s and older and still single.

*Addicted to travelling. Real travelling, like say backpacking for a few months through South America, not Carnival Cruise or Club Med travelling.

*Genuinely curious about the world around him, embracing that you never stop learning.

*Active for the sake of the experience and his health, not so much for vanity. And I do like getting outdoors so I like it when a man will do the same.

*Intelligent, without being arrogant or nerdy about it.

*Not overly ambitious to the point where he hardly sees me because he's working 60+ hours a week.

*Sexually, enjoys it when a woman takes charge from time to time! And has a high enough libido to keep up with me.

*Appreciates kissing and cuddling as much as the sex itself.

*Views me as his best friend, and wants to spend large amounts of time with me whenever possible.

*Sticks by me through the bad times as well as the good, and doesn't question the relationship if I'm going through a life stage where I'm not my normal happy-go-lucky self.

*Views women as humans, not generalizing them as women.

*Cultural background is not important at all, besides, I'm highly unusual for a Southern white female so it's kind of nice to be with a man who defys stereotypes like myself.

*Complete honesty, no matter what, is crucial. I don't respond well to having things sugar-coated.

*Refuses to play games, and doesn't respond well when woman play the treat them mean keep them keen game.

*Likes animals, as I have 2 cats.

*Wants children, but not a big family, and also appreciates the fact that children are often much more intelligent than most people are willing to give them credit for.

*Views commitment not as "settling down" but as having a great partner in crime along for the ride. And digs the idea of giving our kids great experiences like safari in Africa.

 

As for the completely superficial:

*At least 6 feet, I'm 5'10".

*Doesn't have to look like a male model, but fit enough to where I can see that health is a priority is important.

*If there are tattoos, only small ones.

*I do have a thing for blue-ish or green-ish eyes, but that's not a necessity.

Edited July 30, 2010 by SassyKitten

[WintersNightTraveler]

Ordered approximately:

 

Funny, very smart, hot, high sex drive, small.

 

Must tolerate my cats.

[MyNameIsJane]

I started to try to write a list... but I am bad at it - and truth be told, my list changed depending on who I meet, since nobody fits perfectly in a mold... and I might not even like him if he did! haha.

 

Superficially, I like tall menn with dark hair. As far as the rest, I like open minded guys who have a good head on their shoulders, a dream/goal, good morals, a good heart and like adventure - because I tend to find some kind of trouble to get into

[Pyro]

-female

-can make me laugh

-intelligent

-can have an intelligent conversation about something other than Jersey Shore or the Bachelor

-easy to get along with

-able to agree on things but also has her own POV

-short

-gorgeous green eyes

-a sexy foreign accent, preferrably from somewhere on the otherside of the world from me.

[zengirl]

I have a list, but I also think I'd throw it out for the right person (as I've done with various lists before).

 

My general type has always been:

Physically - Either very tall, lanky guys, or less-tall (5'7''-5'10'') compact, trim guys. No big muscles. (Ew.) No fat, though one guy gained a few extra pounds at one point. He was still pretty lean. I've never dated a guy who wasn't white or Asian (Korean or Japanese), but that's not to say I wouldn't. I tend to find tall, lanky Jewish (heritage) boys sexy.

 

Mentally - Smart. Very smart. Smarter than almost everybody else in the room. And curious. And philosophical. Also, a little bit artsy, either visually, musically, or through writing. I've never dated a guy who didn't like to read, but I'd never say I wouldn't.

 

Emotionally/Spiritually - Not religious, spiritual but not religious, Taoist, atheist, agnostic, Buddhist, and/or Jewish. I've never really dated a sincerely Christian guy (who practiced; my family is Christian, so that doesn't bother me in his background). Emotionally, it's changed depending on where I was in life; the majority of my life - when I was in productive phases - I've always been into pretty nurturing guys. Guys who like to cook, take care of you when you're sick, make their friends their family, and tend to nest in their homes. Oh, and guys that love to fix things and put together puzzles, but that may be a mental thing.

 

(This is from reflection on past choices.)

 

In terms of, my "List," for the future. . .

 

1.) Around my age. (I generally set online dating at about 23-30 right now, but it's mostly about life-stage. I'm 25. And, no I don't find a 40 year old in the same life stage as me attractive. Ew, why so immature? But 21/22 or 31/32 wouldn't creep me out, though I tend to steer more towards the 26-29 range.)

 

2.) Knows who he is and wants a serious relationship. That's where I am; that's where he's gotta be.

 

3.) Attractive. Hard to put this into words, better than above. I've found a few different sorts attractive, but I definitely have a type. Thin or compact is best. Don't dig guys who are overweight and/or shorter than me, but I'm 5'5'' and thin/active, so that's never been a big deal.

 

4.) Smart. Really smart. I need a guy who is both smart and likes to talk about smart things. He's got to have intellectual pursuits. They don't have to be the same as mine, and we don't have to be smart in the same way, but he's got to appreciate my thoughts and I have to dig his. A strong vocabulary? Huge plus. Can fix things and do sciency stuff? Always been something I liked in a fellow.

 

5.) Something artistic about him. He's got to have some part of him that has been touched deeply by some form of art, literature, music, etc. Basically, he has to have a soul! Haha... I'm a bit suspicious of anyone who actively dislikes Beatles music. Or Dr. Seuss books.

 

6.) Emotionally honest and generous. I need a guy who is at least sort of nurturing. No stoic types for me. I find some (in moderation) insecurities and even social anxiety, if he isn't paralyzed by it day-to-day, kind of cute. I need a guy who will, as we get closer, lean on me, emotionally.

 

7.) Has passion and direction in his life. He's got to have something he cares about pursuing that he has plans to pursue.

 

I think those are my "musts" beyond the basic stable requirement (treats people decently, can self-support himself, etc). I also don't date anybody with kids at this point in my life, but I don't tend to date anybody who doesn't like kids (Doesn't want them might be okay; I'm still sorting that out, though I think I'd like 1 or 2). He also can't be religious in a way that opposes me (like a staunch Christian) or extremely conservative (for instance, if someone is against helping the homeless or anti-gay rights, I struggle to even be friends with them, let alone date them). And, you know, he has to be into me!

 

Other major bonuses:

*Wants to travel with me and plan trips (long or short term) later.

*Is musically or artistically talented.

*Can write well.

[SassyKitten]

And 2 more things for my list....

 

*Open-minded, non-judgemental, non-racist, supports gay rights, etc. I could never date a conservative.

*Doesn't believe in organized religion, and can mesh with my agnostic view of looking at these things.

[PlumPudding]

Appearances:

~Tall and lean. Biggest things there. I LOVE leanness. No big muscles, YUCK!

~I love darker hair, looove it. I haven't really been attracted to many lighter-haired boys.

~No gross facial hair (like incredibly long beards or funky pervy mustaches)

 

Personality:

~Has to be adventurous and find fun in the littlest things--like making paper airplanes . . .

~Has to be able to stand my REALLY ANNOYING laughter

~Views marriage as something more like spending time with your best friend (who you also love to death), and yeah, like the original poster, take children on REALLY epic trips.

~Is not afraid to travel and try new things

~Doesn't need to fall into stereotypes or cliches BECAUSE they are stereotypes and cliches.

~haha, like original poster: Loves kissing and cuddling as much as sex.

~is not melodramatic

~accepts my eccentric personality without being embarrassed in public

~is not embarrassed to be totally silly once and a while, like slow running in the rain to embrace and kiss in a total Hollywood style scene.

[TheWatcher]

Based on purely anecdotal evidence making lists (as they

pertain to a partner) seems to something that is mostly

a female domain.

 

For those of you who have a list;is it something that you

have sat down and actually put on paper ? Or is it mentally

based ? Do have an actual physical list that you refer to

and modify from time to time ? (Scratch certain things

off...add other requirements)

 

Do you compare lists with girlfriends ? Do they represent

your ideal partner or certain traits that you will not

compromise upon in any way...not willing to settle

for anything less,so to speak ?

Edited July 30, 2010 by TheWatcher

[PlumPudding]

Based on purely anecdotal evidence making lists (as they

pertain to a partner) seems to something that is mostly

a female domain.

 

For those of you who have a list;is it something that you

have sat down and actually put on paper ? Or is it mentally

based ? Do have an actual physical list that you refer to

and modify from time to time ? (Scratch certain things

off...add other requirements)

 

Do you compare lists with girlfriends ? Do they represent

your ideal partner or certain traits that you will not

compromise upon in any way...not willing to settle

for anything less,so to speak ?

 

Haha as to the put on paper, nooo. I just posted what I felt right now when I wrote it. I don't have anything written, it just seems like who I'm attracted to always seem to be lean, taller, and have dark hair.

 

Basically it's just what I'd really like to have in a guy . . . and a lot of these are based off of my ex, who broke up with me because of some of the reasons I have listed. xD Like my eccentric behavior. He was too embarrassed by it.

 

And for me, I'm always willing to compromise as long as I don't have to change the foundation of WHO I AM. I'm always growing, and as I am, what I think is also growing--as well as tolerance. But I'm always one for compromise.

[zengirl]

Based on purely anecdotal evidence making lists (as they

pertain to a partner) seems to something that is mostly

a female domain.

 

For those of you who have a list;is it something that you

have sat down and actually put on paper ? Or is it mentally

based ? Do have an actual physical list that you refer to

and modify from time to time ? (Scratch certain things

off...add other requirements)

 

Do you compare lists with girlfriends ? Do they represent

your ideal partner or certain traits that you will not

compromise upon in any way...not willing to settle

for anything less,so to speak ?

 

I just wrote mine here, but I guess I know it all in my head. I'm just a reflective sort. I keep reflective journals in my life.

 

And, as I said at the beginning, there are certain times you throw out (parts of) the list.

[shadowplay]

I don't have a definitive type, just some general wants and not-wants.

 

I'm 26, female.

 

Guy:

Age: 23-35

 

Physical:

-Not overweight

-5'8" and up (I'm 5'5")

-face I find attractive

 

Personality:

-very intelligent

-sane

-emotionally mature

-reasonably confident

-cultured

-has a bare minimum of aesthetic sense and has a passion for appreciating and/or creating some form of art

-not an arsehole

-makes good conversation

-has both emotional and intellectual depth

-not conservative, not very religious, shares my general beliefs

-driven

 

Anyone's fair game within those boundaries.

Edited July 30, 2010 by shadowplay

[lorangie1]

Wow, some of you have thought this through! Mine is just that physically he has to be at least 5'10 (yes that is the ONE thing I am picky about).

 

I tend to go for creative, artsy guys and they always seem to have blue eyes. Every guy I've dated has been either a writer, musician, techie, or film junkie.. I don't like "stuffy" executive types.

 

Also, intelligence obviously is key, and I could never date a republican!

[SassyKitten]

That's a list I came up with just now. About 2/3 of it are things I have been looking for for a while, the other 1/3 is things I've just come up with thanks to lessons I've learned from my most recent string of heartbreak.

[jamesum]

I like strong, independent and sophisticated women.

 

Traditional and submissive women are like doormats. Its hard for me to have respect for them. I feel like stepping on them all the time.

[pandagirl]

Hmm. In terms of looks, I'm all over the place: dark hair, blonde, pale skin, dark skin, blue eyes, brown eyes. The one thing in common? All attractive!

 

I do have a certain "type" though:

-Very, very intelligent... all boyfriends have tended to have gone to top tier colleges. I know that doesn't matter, but it's just turned out that way.

-Artistic in some sense (I've dated musicians, architects, graphic artists, video editors); into the arts and indie music

-Quirky/weird/funny/silly.

[xpaperxcutx]

Physically- sandy haired/ or dark haired, Average height ( 5'10 is perfect- not too tall and not too short) broad- shouldered and fit. Not too skinny or too fat, but perfect body proportions that tell me he takes care of himself.

 

Personalitywise- Witty and amusing. Opinionated, yet, openminded ( definitely not a Republican). Passionate and secure ( as in he's confident without being overly cocky).

 

 

Occupations- No musicians. I love artists and intellectuals but I cannot date musicians due to past failures, but a guy who is passionate about his work/jobs is always a plus.

[MrNate]

Jeez, so many detailed lists....

 

Well, here's Mr. Nate's:

 

1. Pretty

2. Smart

3. Fiercely loyal.

4. Average/slightly athletic build.

 

The end.

 

(Thick ass/nice chest is a bonus.)

[SpanksTheMonkey]

1. Must have a pulse.

 

2. Not completely bald all tho I will say its a good look on some men.

 

3. Must like cats big bonus points if he actually loves them as much as I do.

 

4. I like a some what assertive guy (witch is funny cause my current bf is the total opposite) lol.

 

5. Decent sense of humor doesn't take himself or life to seriously.

 

6. Is not overly judgmental of himself or others.

 

7. Doesn't let his parents run his life but yet still respects/loves them.

 

8. Is open to trying the things I enjoy doing and in return I'll do the same for him.

 

9. Is not a party boy doesn't feel the need to go out every night or weekend.

 

10. Doesn't let his friends opinions out trump over run our relationship hes dating me not them after all.

 

11. Is not into drugs of any kind and can truly control his drinking.

 

 

12. Doesn't smoke I cant stand kissing a ashtray and no matter how much they seam to brush its still there afterwards.

[D-Lish]

I am a sucker for dark hair and blue eyes. I find the contrast intoxicating.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Thought this could be an interesting thread, as so many have recommended I write down a list of everything I'm looking for in a partner. Here goes:

*Between ages 25 and 40. I'm 28, but then 10 years younger would be OK if I'm in my mid-30s and older and still single.

*Addicted to travelling. Real travelling, like say backpacking for a few months through South America, not Carnival Cruise or Club Med travelling.

*Genuinely curious about the world around him, embracing that you never stop learning.

*Active for the sake of the experience and his health, not so much for vanity. And I do like getting outdoors so I like it when a man will do the same.

*Intelligent, without being arrogant or nerdy about it.

*Not overly ambitious to the point where he hardly sees me because he's working 60+ hours a week.

*Sexually, enjoys it when a woman takes charge from time to time! And has a high enough libido to keep up with me.

*Appreciates kissing and cuddling as much as the sex itself.

*Views me as his best friend, and wants to spend large amounts of time with me whenever possible.

*Sticks by me through the bad times as well as the good, and doesn't question the relationship if I'm going through a life stage where I'm not my normal happy-go-lucky self.

*Views women as humans, not generalizing them as women.

*Cultural background is not important at all, besides, I'm highly unusual for a Southern white female so it's kind of nice to be with a man who defys stereotypes like myself.

*Complete honesty, no matter what, is crucial. I don't respond well to having things sugar-coated.

*Refuses to play games, and doesn't respond well when woman play the treat them mean keep them keen game.

*Likes animals, as I have 2 cats.

*Wants children, but not a big family, and also appreciates the fact that children are often much more intelligent than most people are willing to give them credit for.

*Views commitment not as "settling down" but as having a great partner in crime along for the ride. And digs the idea of giving our kids great experiences like safari in Africa.

As for the completely superficial:

*At least 6 feet, I'm 5'10".

*Doesn't have to look like a male model, but fit enough to where I can see that health is a priority is important.

*If there are tattoos, only small ones.

*I do have a thing for blue-ish or green-ish eyes, but that's not a necessity.

 

Stop reducing your guys into bits and pieces.... because in reality you will be with the whole man. Toss out your list!!! It's going to force you into bad choices.

 

If you can't accept a guy as he is... then its destination failure.

[Enchanted Girl]

This seems more like lists of requirements rather than "types" because the type I usually go for is nerdy guy. I'm a nerd myself and like a lot of nerdy hobbies, so they're easier for me to relate to and understand.

 

But that's not a requirement or anything, it's just the type I usually am attracted to.

[Citizen Erased]

I want loyalty, love and honesty. The rest are little things that anyone can have. I can't build a life with someone based on the colour of their eyes.

[Enchanted Girl]

I want loyalty, love and honesty. The rest are little things that anyone can have. I can't build a life with someone based on the colour of their eyes.

 

I agree, but I'd add respect to that list.

[Citizen Erased]

I agree, but I'd add respect to that list.

 

And that too.

[Pyro]

And that too.

 

that falls under the love category