My fiancee is driving me nuts with the telephone calls

[ratingsguy]

My fiancee calls me about 3-5 times a day. Once in the morning, a few times during the day and then before she goes to bed (we don't live together and I work nights). To start, I'm not a big talker on the phone and she knows this. I'm the kind of person who will pick up the phone to call someone only if I have something to say... not just for the sake of calling. But with my fiancee, she'll call even if she has nothing to say. She works with kids all day, so she says she needs some adult interaction which I guess is understandable.

 

But a lot of the time our phone conversations will revolve around her asking me what I have planned for the day, what she needs to do or has planned, things that I need to accomplish, things we need to accomplish together, asking me if I can do something for her or making plans for when we're together. We seldom talk about fun stuff or just BS stuff that a lot of people talk about. It's always about things that require effort. I hate to say this, but talking to her is like work sometimes and I dread seeing the phone ring. I don't like that... I want to be excited when she calls, but I'm anything but. It's causing me stress.

 

Now all that being said, I love her very much and we're great together when we are together, but the phone calls are killing me. Sometimes she'll text and that doesn't bother me at all and we interact that way at times, too. But with the phone calls, I can almost feel the frustration building inside me. It's maddening... and sometimes I just can't take it anymore. Plus she's very sensitive so it's hard to talk to her about this without her getting upset. I have no idea what to do or how to make this stop... especially without hurting her feelings. I'm afraid she has nothing else to say when we're on the phone... which to me is ok, because I would only call when I DO have something to say. God, this is so tiring.

[jsa100100]

lol im so sorry you feel this way. I think she's just trying to talk on the phone the only way she knows how...just to keep the conversation going. I'm sure we both know she doesn't intentionally try to drive you mad.

 

So how bout you start talking about somehting fun or bs? I know its hard since you're not a big phone talker, but just start asking random questions, i.e., how do you feel about the color green? I think that would throw her off and definitely move the conversation to something more silly and enjoyable.