bolase Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 day one..again I feel heartbroken and stupid and confused. A total mess today. Last night I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 months, I didn't want to, we had great times when we did hang out- but that wasn't very much...both busy..especially him. it wasnt just our failure to meet up that hurt me it was the fact he hardly ever sent me any kind of msg in between these times. I think if you dont have that contact, letting each other know you are thinking of each other maybe once ever 2 days.. it's not a relationship, right? I've known this guy for 3 years but we've always been with other people or overseas. This year we got together after he admitted a crush, even though we're different people we're on the same levels, had great sex, great conversations sometimes, I felt I could be myself and he said he did too..is it demanding of me to want someone more attentive, loving and affectionate? Who tells me their problems and listens? seriously? I feel awful because during our talk he said he was happy the way things were, that he could keep going, but not if I wasn't happy - he said, "though we know we arent the love of each others life." That really cut me. I mean this guy, though independent, had just told me he's told his mum overseas that we were together, told his friends I was his partner and invited me as such...so he thought enough of me that we wanted to be with me.and I felt the same, with an open mind.. and now I feel like I just wanted too much? But after we held each other, his first question to me: "have you ever had break up sex"? needless to say I didn't, even though it was hard not to...I feel so ****ty right now. Then to make it worse, he asked if he should leave me be so I can heal..why is it I am hurting and he seems fine? I do want to be his friend, it was too frustrating being his girlfriend, but maybe i was just being emotional..I am not usually 'needy', the opposite, but I wantes more affection. and to share more time. I dont want to spend time with him now, if he's trying to have sex with me. Sucks..I feel like I had no choice...did any other people feel like that? the lack of affection and care left them no choice but to just cut it off? I said "all the potential awesomeness that won't happen", and he said "it doest have to be that way". Feel awful. Should I just leave him until he gets in touch?
spriggig Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 He was stringing you along for the sex. It may not have been his intention when you first started dating, but he decided within a short time afterward that is all you would be to him. ...is it demanding of me to want someone more attentive, loving and affectionate? Who tells me their problems and listens? Yes. And there's nothing wrong with that, it's also completely fair and the least you should get from a man who loves you and wants you to be his only one. You should go full NC with this guy and have nothing more to do with him. Move on, this is not the man you're looking for. For your own sake, don't have sex with him again.
Author bolase Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 I find that hard to believe, but I guess so - but we do other things besides sex - go explore places and have hobbies in common, but it seemed like that faded. I have never beenw ith someone just for the sex and said I want to feel something next time. I feel so foolish. and sooo sad.
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