Author YellowShark Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 hehehehe - dude sorry for jacking your board.... Oh... don't sweat it. It's not "mine." Everything here belongs to LoveShack.org and we are all simply travellers who are just passing through. BTW I still feel like crap after seeing her yesterday... so the humour is most welcome!
mickleb Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 REALLY, smk? Are you really sorry for thread-jacking again? I am thinking of advocating the use of the dreaded Coping Log after all! Ignore me, I'm being mean. x
smk Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Oh... don't sweat it. It's not "mine." Everything here belongs to LoveShack.org and we are all simply travellers who are just passing through. BTW I still feel like crap after seeing her yesterday... so the humour is most welcome! sharky - this is humour specially to cheer you up.... "I'm gonna be the captain, I'm gonna be in charge. I'm gonna be the captain, I'm gonna be-... You can **** off to the back and sulk there. (singing again) I'm gonna be the captain, I'm gonna be in charge.... Captain Bollocks! I shall be Captain Bollocks. On the good ship Scrotum. It's a small boat, but it'll pack a punch. We'll be able seamen in our boat, Scrotum." - STM Mickleb - well TBH you have to be polite when doing the jacking nonetheless embrace the chubby ninja - go on - you know you want to.... muhahahahahahaha
bonpaw2008 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 sharky - this is humour specially to cheer you up.... "I'm gonna be the captain, I'm gonna be in charge. I'm gonna be the captain, I'm gonna be-... You can **** off to the back and sulk there. (singing again) I'm gonna be the captain, I'm gonna be in charge.... Captain Bollocks! I shall be Captain Bollocks. On the good ship Scrotum. It's a small boat, but it'll pack a punch. We'll be able seamen in our boat, Scrotum." - STM Mickleb - well TBH you have to be polite when doing the jacking nonetheless embrace the chubby ninja - go on - you know you want to.... muhahahahahahaha Cheered me up! lmao
RedDevil66 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 She's amazing on the outside and ugly on the inside. You made the right decision to leave her. Her looks will fade but her nasty inner self will remain. By then, you will be with someone beautiful on the inside and out. This also reminds me of something that happened to me. My ex off 11 yrs cheated on me for a year and left me. It was not pretty! I went total NC with him 6 months after he left. Two years goes by, I look the best I ever looked (I'm a tall, very fit and a red head and I was super tanned) and I'm walking in a store, chatting on my cell, laughing and I look up and who's 1ft, face to face, in front of me? My ex! Without a blink, I turned around and walked away. All I could think about was "THANK GOD I wore this dress and 4 inch heels today of ALL days "(Had a work lunch that day) I can see my ex was watching and he sort of followed me. Next day I get a call from his sister and she says "My brother saw you yesterday and came here last night and cried for hours saying he missed you, is still in love with you and wants you back" Oh, good times! Of course I told her to tell him to I'm flattered :-) Karma is a great tool
Author YellowShark Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 (edited) She's amazing on the outside and ugly on the inside. You made the right decision to leave her. It's taken me three months of NC to realize that. Her looks will fade but her nasty inner self will remain. By then, you will be with someone beautiful on the inside and out. That's the plan! I look the best I ever looked (I'm a tall, very fit and a red head and I was super tanned)... SHA-WING! What ya doin' tomorrow night? Next day I get a call from his sister and she says "My brother saw you yesterday and came here last night and cried for hours saying he missed you, is still in love with you and wants you back" I didn't cry, but I do miss who I thought she was. I still find her devastatingly beautiful, yet now I realize after NC - (and her infidelity) - that she has issues.. and cannot be faithful. And I require my partner to be faithful or it's a deal-breaker. (When I read the OW/OM threads here I always laugh out loud when the OW is surprized that the MM they are cheating with is cheating on them too! HA!) It just blew my mind that after 3 months of strict NC that at the exact moment I was pulling into the parking lot she happens to walk by.. and we see each other. (And I live in a city of 3 million people!) D'OH!!! Edited July 30, 2010 by YellowShark
RedDevil66 Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 I was free tonight, but I read this too late ;-) The universe put her in front of you to show you, you ain't missing a thing! And yes some of the OW here are in deep denial. It's sad!
Author YellowShark Posted August 1, 2010 Author Posted August 1, 2010 I was free tonight, but I read this too late ;-) Well now we are both single... and therefore IT'S PARTY TIME! HA!
RedDevil66 Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 Well now we are both single... and therefore IT'S PARTY TIME! HA! I'm not single, but I'm in a relationship I've been struggling to decide whether to stay or leave. It's a mess
Author YellowShark Posted August 1, 2010 Author Posted August 1, 2010 I'm not single, but I'm in a relationship I've been struggling to decide whether to stay or leave. It's a mess That totally sucks. Sorry to hear that. All any of us need is more heartbreak. (((BIG HUG)))
RedDevil66 Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 That totally sucks. Sorry to hear that. All any of us need is more heartbreak. (((BIG HUG))) Thanks for the hug. I've had a lot of heartbreak in the last 10 yrs of my life, so I identified with your post. My last two ex's (both long term) both cheated on me and it was devastating. Serial cheaters are a special breed and count your lucky stars you're away from her. I have a former best friend (friends for 30 yrs) who is a serial cheater. She's cheated over and over on her now husband. He has NO clue! When she told him they were getting married (no, he didn't ask, she told him they were), this is when, after 30 yrs of friendship, I needed to walk away. Women like this are truly sick. You are free my friend :-)
Author YellowShark Posted August 1, 2010 Author Posted August 1, 2010 My last two ex's (both long term) both cheated on me and it was devastating. It is devastating, and it is their loss. Serial cheaters are a special breed and count your lucky stars you're away from her. For seven years I treated her with respect and kindness in sickness and in health. And she repaid me by cheating. Yup. I am lucky to be away from her. Women like this are truly sick. You are free my friend :-) I believe she is sick, I am a great guy, handsome, moral, and kind. And she decided to have an affair with a married man who is cheating on his pregnant wife! How she can look him in the eyes and justify that immorality in her head I cannot fathom, it crosses too many social and moral lines in the sand for me.
RedDevil66 Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 It is devastating, and it is their loss. For seven years I treated her with respect and kindness in sickness and in health. And she repaid me by cheating. Yup. I am lucky to be away from her. I believe she is sick, I am a great guy, handsome, moral, and kind. And she decided to have an affair with a married man who is cheating on his pregnant wife! How she can look him in the eyes and justify that immorality in her head I cannot fathom, it crosses too many social and moral lines in the sand for me. My ex of 11 yrs was cheating on me with a married woman who had hiv (which he knew about). It was not about us and how well we treated them, it's about them and their incapacity to function in a healthy way. They don't justify it, they just lack emotion and empathy. You sound like a great guy. Really great! I too have so many good traits, but we just pick the wrong partners.
Author YellowShark Posted August 1, 2010 Author Posted August 1, 2010 My ex of 11 yrs was cheating on me with a married woman who had hiv (which he knew about). OMFG. That is truly sick and horrible. He might as well have put a gun to your head and played Russian roulette while you were sleeping. It was not about us and how well we treated them, it's about them and their incapacity to function in a healthy way. I agree. I was illustrating that our relationship was not strained, I was not abusive, the sex was off the hook, I was respectful and attentive without being smothering... and she still felt a need to step out. So yes, she is toxic. They don't justify it, they just lack emotion and empathy. So true. And they are selfish and have a sense of entitlement that is very self-destructive! You sound like a great guy. Really great! I too have so many good traits, but we just pick the wrong partners. I've never had a cheater before. I didn't know about her past with her ex-husband until we went to counselling together. That was after the first EA in our relationship. I gave her a break, forgave her, and had thought we worked it out. We set some very definite boundaries and yet a year and a half later she's cheating again. Next time the first cheat is a deal-breaker for me.
bonpaw2008 Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 It was not about us and how well we treated them, it's about them and their incapacity to function in a healthy way. They don't justify it, they just lack emotion and empathy. You sound like a great guy. Really great! I too have so many good traits, but we just pick the wrong partners. Very true about them, it has nothing to do with us but it is so hard not to blame yourself and wonder if you did something else would things have worked out differently,,,but I can't keep looking behind me wondering what if.....on to the next
RedDevil66 Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 OMFG. That is truly sick and horrible. He might as well have put a gun to your head and played Russian roulette while you were sleeping. I agree. I was illustrating that our relationship was not strained, I was not abusive, the sex was off the hook, I was respectful and attentive without being smothering... and she still felt a need to step out. So yes, she is toxic. So true. And they are selfish and have a sense of entitlement that is very self-destructive! I've never had a cheater before. I didn't know about her past with her ex-husband until we went to counselling together. That was after the first EA in our relationship. I gave her a break, forgave her, and had thought we worked it out. We set some very definite boundaries and yet a year and a half later she's cheating again. Next time the first cheat is a deal-breaker for me. It was horrible and sick. She was also satan since she was choosing to sleep with my BF unprotected and she knew he was coming home to me. This went on for a year until she confronted me. It's a long crazy story, but yes, they were both sick demented souls. Had I actually contracted HIV, I would have sued and had them both arrested. I was going to have them both arrested for attempted murder, but then decided to move on with my life after 6 months and 4 hiv tests. Sex was off the hook, do tell...haha ! Kidding, I miss off the hook sex. You sound like a smart, kind man, I truly hope you realize that. Your ex WILL contact you again, They always do. People like this need their ego's stroked often. The fact that you went to couples therapy and she agreed to boundaries and still did it......ick! Can I ask, was she a heavy drinker or drug user?
Author YellowShark Posted August 1, 2010 Author Posted August 1, 2010 Had I actually contracted HIV, I would have sued and had them both arrested. I was going to have them both arrested for attempted murder, but then decided to move on with my life after 6 months and 4 hiv tests. Wow. So sorry. What a terrible ordeal for you. That is absolutely horrifying that these two people would RISK YOUR LIFE so that they could get their rocks off. Sex was off the hook, do tell...haha ! Kidding, I miss off the hook sex. Who doesn't. I am going through terrible withdrawal now! You sound like a smart, kind man, I truly hope you realize that. I am very comfortable in my own skin. And I am happy to say that. Your ex WILL contact you again, They always do. People like this need their ego's stroked often. I expect another text. Could be today, tomorrow, the next day. But this time I shall not respond. She had her chance, repeatedly, and she sided with a MM who's wife is 8-months pregnant. I will not allow her back in my life because of that betrayal. I suspect she is slowly seeing what she lost and is trying to lure me back in. Boy is she going to be disappointed. The fact that you went to couples therapy and she agreed to boundaries and still did it......ick! Yup. I am open-minded and after the first EA I cut her some slack and said let's figure out why this happened, and let's make it work. During the counselling I found out that the EA was an ex-coworker of hers who is also married.. with two kids - (yet another sick cheating married scumball!) And it was the same guy she stepped out with during her marriage. I didn't know about this guy and her marriage issue until we were in counselling for us. So when she did it again to me in May I was packed and gone in 4 days. Can I ask, was she a heavy drinker or drug user? Sure you can ask. She no longer has my protection. For the first few years together drinking wasn't an issue. Then around year three I noticed she was polishing off a bottle of wine a night instead of her usual couple glasses. But she wasn't an abusive, mean, or falling-down drunk who couldn't function. When I saw that she was drinking a bottle a night I told her that was a problem and we needed to deal with it. So she went to AA, and I would join her sometimes for support and understanding. It worked, and she quit drinking for nearly a year. After that year of success she stopped going to AA. Then she began drinking again, but only socially and in moderation. So I let it slide. When it started to become more I confronted her and told her she needed to quit again and go back to AA. I did it in a cooperative way rather than a confrontational way - I was actually listening during those AA meetings. But this time she refused to go back. It was during this "falling off the wagon" when the EA with ex-good-friend began. The rest you know.
RedDevil66 Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I'm not shocked she as alcoholic. She has the MO of an addict. My BF is a recovery alcoholic and I've been to AA with him and been in Al Anon for close to a year now. Being/living with an active addict is a no-win situation. If they can get into recovery, there's a better chance. But it's still a long road. I've yet to meet an addict who doesn't lie or cheat. My BF never cheated (so he claims and so I never found out) but when we would fight and I would say in anger "it's over", he was contacting women right away and slept with a few. Since being sober 2 yrs, he's claimed he's not done this. But building trust is rough. He was married for 20 yrs to a woman who cheated on him so he thought I was out cheating on him. Which was false! Oh the life of being with a addict. My BF is a "functional" addict as well. Been in a great job for 20 yrs and has kids and takes care of his daily functions, but emotionally, he's a little bit of a mess. Yellow, you are BLESSED to be away from this girl...........seriously!
Author YellowShark Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 (edited) My BF is a recovery alcoholic and I've been to AA with him and been in Al Anon for close to a year now....but when we would fight and I would say in anger "it's over", he was contacting women right away...He was married for 20 yrs to a woman who cheated on him so he thought I was out cheating on him.....but emotionally, he's a little bit of a mess. Sounds like you have your hands full Red, and are the caretaker in this relationship. And thanks for all the kind words you've said to me, you're a real gem. Edited August 2, 2010 by YellowShark
RedDevil66 Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Sounds like you have your hands full Red, and are the caretaker in this relationship. And thanks for all the kind words you've said to me, you're a real gem. Anytime, you're a gem as well :-)
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