I'm so pissed. Older guy at work won't leave me alone

[SassyKitten]

You mean "crawl" from right?

 

WHO'S YOUR DADDDDDDY!??!?!?

 

Any man who ever used that on me would get a nice hard kick in the balls!

[meerkat stew]

That would be hard to do for a pedophile because the balls on their "little soldier man" probably haven't dropped yet.

[shadowplay]

OK this is getting really gross.

 

Today at work, I was feeling sick (have the flu).

 

He asked me what I was doing tonight, and I said sleeping since I'm not feeling well. And he said, do you sleep alone? And, stupidly, caught off guard again I said "yes." Then he said, gesturing with his hands, "I can give you a nice massage. I'm experienced with them."

 

I looked at him and said very clearly I'm not interested.

 

This needs to stop.

 

Found out from another coworker that a girl who worked here before I started quit because of sexual harassment (another cook).

[donnamaybe]

OK this is getting really gross.

 

Today at work, I was feeling sick (have the flu).

 

He asked me what I was doing tonight, and I said sleeping since I'm not feeling well. And he said, do you sleep alone? And, stupidly, caught off guard again I said "yes." Then he said, gesturing with his hands, "I can give you a nice massage. I'm experienced with them."

 

I looked at him and said very clearly I'm not interested.

 

This needs to stop.

 

Found out from another coworker that a girl who worked here before I started quit because of sexual harassment (another cook).

You need to keep a journal of every single disgusting thing this guy says. You'll need it for the sexual harassment suit.

[Star Gazer]

This needs to stop.

 

You MUST tell your boss. You have to.

[O'Malley]

Document the latest comment (for your own records) and notify your boss of what has been occurring.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

When I said I wanted attention from men, I didn't mean guys almost twice my age. There's a 40-year-old Spanish cook where I work who started relentlessly asking me out today, to the point that I felt really uncomfortable just being in the restaurant at all. I had noticed he was flirting with me before today, and maybe I was too nice.

 

Once about a week ago he asked me if I would go dancing with him, and by his tone of voice I thought he was just kidding around. So I said "sure" in a joking voice to humor him.

 

Then today he cornered me when we were alone in the basement and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I stupidly told him the truth (that I don't), and he asked me if I'd go out with him. I was taken off guard and didn't know what to say so I looked away and grumbled "uhhh...I'll think about it." Anybody with half a brain could have told I was politely rejecting him, but then he added "let me know when" as I walked away. Then he cornered me again later and asked me if I like dancing or drinking and I said "no" and I walked away again. Finally, as I was leaving work he whispered in my ear "I'll call you."

 

I made zero eye contact with him all day and was very brusque, but apparently he didn't get the message. He kept calling me "mi amour" or "mamasita" or "bonita"

 

How do I make this stop??? I have no clue what to say the next time he corners me and it's extremely awkward since I see him every day.

 

I have to say the whole thing also made me feel ****ty. Why is it that guys my age don't flirt with me but middle-aged, unattractive men do? Am I really that bad? I'm actually insulted that he would think he even has a chance with me. I don't get it.

 

Also, there's an even older Spanish cook there who was giving me flirtatious, heavy eye contact and smiles all day. He's been a bit flirty with me in the past, but never this heavy. I got the sense the other cook had told him I was going out with him, and now he thinks I'm easy or something. :sick:

 

To make matters worse as I was leaving the restaurant I noticed that the young (American) guy who works there was hanging out with that other waitress who I mentioned in my other thread, which confirmed my suspicion that he had asked her out. This guy kind of ignored me when we shifted together. This guy isn't even cute, but it tweaks me a little. It feels like I'm invisible to young guys, while lecherous middle aged men find me attractive.

 

Seriously, if this guy continues to bother me I may actually quit. It's making me extremely uncomfortable.

 

 

Sexual harrassment in the workplace aside, what goes around comes around, and you've given plenty of examples here to suggest that you're getting your just due.

[zengirl]

I still wonder this often though, between the fact that I look barely legal, and that a lot of men seem to have a weird fixation with me shaving all of my hair down below.

 

Are we talking a weird fixation to the point where something like a landing strip is not sexy because there's even the slightest hint of hair but completely bare is? Because I'd say that is weird.

 

Just wanting a gal who shaves is not weird at all to me, and I'm not quite sure I get your point on this matter (you bring it up quite a bit). It really does improve the quality of sex and sensation in general. It also makes the area more visible, and many people, men especially, are visual creatures. I mean, I wouldn't want a partner to harp about it all the time or obsess about it (that's weird!), but I understand the allure. I mean, I prefer a fellow who trims or shaves too. It's mostly for practical purposes.

 

(The looking barely legal and getting hit on by old men I agree with you = creepy, as I've said. But a normal, age-appropriate man having a preference for shaved nether-regions doesn't strike me as odd at all, unless he's absurd about it.)

Edited August 6, 2010 by zengirl