My heart is very heavy

[Rick857]

I'm 40 years old and have been through this a few times. I know it sucks. In fact, I just broke up with my girlfriend on Tuesday. That's why I'm here. So I know first hand and it's fresh.

 

Yes, it could take years to fully get over her. But the worst of it, the really really painful part will be over much sooner. I've been crying on and off the last few days. You'll do that no matter how many times you've been through this. The difference is you'll know, after you've been through this a few times, that you will survive and other great relationships will follow.

 

Being with a partner is like having an addiction. You're so used to her. Life without her seems empty. But that passes and in time you'll fill up your life with other great things. Eventually a different partner, but don't rush it. You're vulnerabe right now and could easily get into something with the wrong woman. When that ends, all the deferred (avoided) pain of this break will still be there. Deal with it now.

 

I recommend non-alcoholic, non-pharmaceutical distractions. Spend time with friends, find a support group, spend time on the computer, get exercize, go to the movies, grab a bite to eat (don't forget to eat), see a counselor if you can afford it (that can really help). I know none of it sounds like fun to do without her, but once you get out you'll find the pain will subside.

 

Right now the pain is washing over you in waves. Wave after wave. But what you'll find is, over time, the waves will get further apart and less intense, while the time inbetween will get longer. Eventually there will only be ripples and then eventually not even that.

 

Telling you all of this is making me feel so much better about my breakup. So thanks.

[Vivid_29]

Originally posted by LuvSick

Our work was related and I did her work for her...I really felt used but I really wanted to help her. I'm not an idiot and I'm not a fool, but when you feel you are losing someone you really change, I became pathetic. Ryt now lyf has no meaning for me, I'm angry at her for not giving back the Love i deserve, I deserve it because I gave her all of my love...I'd even die for her...she repaid my love by loving someone else, I'm angry at God for allowing this.

 

I believe that you helped her in a last desperate attempt to win her over. Realize that this woman isn't just gonna magically fall back in love with you. The best thing to do is to let her go, move on and get some other options besides her. And why the hell would you die for her? Do you think that she'd die for you?

 

 

I really did thought we could have another chance Vivid, I thought she also felt what I was feeling...I'd do anything to have a second chance.

 

A chance at what? Getting your heart torn out again?

 

 

I really did wish that I could erase my 5 years her, I really can't bear the pain anymore. I also wish that I have the guts to end this now...if not for my family I could have ended it last night, rather I spent hours at my room crying...until three were nor more tears coming out.

 

Dude, the pain you are feeling is only temporary. Give yourself some time to grieve. This will pass, trust me! Don't even think about doing anything silly!

 

 

I'd take her back in a heartbeat! I do have dignity and pride, I dont know..I threw them away..I just want the love of my life back! I know it happened to plenty of people...its just hard to accept it, I dont know if I could let her go..I'd rather wait for her, I dont care how it will be, I'm willing to wait for her...I just cant let go

 

It doesn't sound like you have pride and dignity. You sound like you have some self-esteem issues, my friend. You need to go out and meet new women and maybe if she sees this, she'll realize that you are a desireable man, and not someone someone who acts all wussy and wimpy with no b@lls, who can't stand his ground. Women don't like it when men act all sappy and gay! Cherish the memories and time spent with her, but put it all behind you and date other women. You owe it to yourself!

 

~V