jamesum Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 According to my observation, independent mentality in women grow later than in men (due to cultural reason). I bet most if not all the independent minded women in this thread are at least above the age of 25.
Sphere Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 Personally I do not expect/do not want a guy to pay for me when we go on dates, when the bill arrives I always pay half even though sometimes I do shock the guy by doing this. I have found that it's a lot more difficult if dating an older guy or someone in the military as they seem to expect to pay for you. If I'm in a proper relationship with someone then we either half it or I pay some times and he pays other times. But then each to there own! Fantastic. It's good to see at least one woman shares my view on this. It seems some women shout "equality" from the rooftops and when they're given equality, they demand a return to the old way of doing things. You can't cherry pick, you either want an old age relationship, a traditional one or you want a new wave relationship, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
SassyKitten Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 I've always been very independent-minded, but more so the older I get. One thing I noticed from my parents' marriage, where they both came from opposite ends of the economic spectrum, is that being the one who pays does entitle one to be the one who calls all of the shots. Therefore, in a healthy new wave relationship, I see it as healthier to treat the paying issue ettiquette like going out with friends ettiquette, i.e. people take turns doing the paying instead of splitting everything down the middle. Sphere said it well, we can't have our cake and eat it too. Otherwise it's like we're missing the days of June Cleever, where a woman was basically a paid servant with the man being the head of the household.
Sphere Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 I prefer a traditional relationship myself, when I date a girl, I don't usually date just one girl. I will usually date two girls (never tried three because it seems too taxing on the brain and the wallet) and the only time I will be prepared to pay for things (fully without going dutch) with a woman is when she earned my total respect, my total commitment and we are in a serious relationship because I like to lead, I like to be assertive in a relationship. When I am casually dating, there is no incentive for me to pay for everything. The girl is someone I hardly know, I haven't forged a connection with her. She hasn't earned my respect, my trust and therefore qualifies for virtually nothing from me. It is her that has to prove to me that is worthy of my time, my expense and my energy! If a woman expects me to let her pay for half of everything in the vain hope I'll relinquish my assertiveness then she's in for a shock. Don't get me wrong, I won't tell a woman what to wear, or when to wear things. I won't say to a woman that she can't see her friends on this day or that day, but I set boundaries in a relationship and I will look to lead the relationship forward.
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