McGrupp Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 I want to apologize to a Ls'er for last night. I think a lot of the time when we give advice on LS we are not only responding to the poster's plight, but often responding and consulting ourselves because we feel these same things. I think why I took such a hard stance on you was because I could still see myself feeling sorry for myself, and I saw these same attributes in your post. i'm sorry I attacked your life and your hobbies, and especially your time line of your relationship. Time doesn't make it any less special or unique what you had with that person. I really had no right. And I feel bad to force you to un-join the community especially if they are helping you as much as they helped me. The reason I'm posting this is because I to think about my ex a lot also. I to have gone through relationships since the breakup and they haven't helped either. This was the hardest year of my life by far. Sometimes I wonder if i would rather A) have her back but never learn this much about myself and relationships or B) Take all the lessons in stride. I feel like i'm almost over the hill of this struggle, but it is a battle everyday to get to that place. It's been 6+ months NC, 10 months since the breakup, and I finally stopped blaming myself and becoming happy with my life, and most importantly not what others think of it. And I think thats what I was trying to convey, that we all can be happy again, but it can't be put on someone else, or something else, but ourselves. anyway, if you read this bb, i hope you come back. I'm not around here as much anymore, but i hope you can dish out some knowledge to the newly heart-broken who so desperately need it. Mc-
GrayClouds Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 (edited) Mc- classy & worthy introspection The first is always great behavior and the second is what leads to real growth and healing. . Edited July 29, 2010 by GrayClouds
HeavenOrHell Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 Good to see you back IYKWIM! Lots of us here for you for as long as you need, basically. Good for you for apologising McGrupp! I am truly lost, McGrupp. Your words were unnecessary... volatile... harsh... cruel... and hypocritical. I seek my own way through life and do not wish to value my worth based on another's perception of me, but sometimes... words can oft describe a means to meaning, but ultimately are meaningless without action... but inflict tremendous pain within an open wound that has not fully sealed. (wow... super run on sentence) I am alone. I hate it. I need it. I want it. I hate myself, Mc. I can't live this way... but I must. We all find ourselves walking this path... I find myself upon it later than I thought I would looking through a window to the past. And all I can see is my own reflection... I do not know what to say. (other than I'm angry at myself for being back on LS so soon)
mickleb Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 You're a strong man, McGrupp. Perhaps stronger than I am able to be, at times. I commend you on your humility. It shows grace. x
mickleb Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 And of course I'm a total douchebag, right? Actually: I am. I'm confident, but I'm arrogant - and I admit it. I am sensitive to other's emotional needs when the time calls for it. I've written many a post to support other members who are hurting and I don't think I've ever needlessly lashed out at ANYONE.... except McGrupp for this. No, you're chopped liver. I'm joking! I'm joking! I think you are a very confused, emotionally combustible, sensitive, intelligent, ripped, sweet and, sometimes, out-of-control young man who enjoys the odd name change. I think you didn't do yourself a favour the other day by posting here that you were 'totally fine' about texting your ex. I don't think you were anywhere near fine and I think you needed to be a bit more honest with yourself, instead of being all breezy then threatening someone when they say something you think is a bit off. I, honestly, don't think McGrupp's comments were that big of a deal, I just think you were/are having a bad time of it. People have received MUCH worse on here and brushed it off more easily than you were able to at the time. I could name this thread as one example, if you'd like: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=237276 If you start a thread saying: 'I don't know where my head's at - need some help', you will get supportive, empathetic responses. If you start one saying 'I'm texting my ex and I couldn't give a sh*t', you might not. People might think your behaviour is reckless, a bad example to others, attention-seeking and they, certainly, might get the impression that you are man enough to deal with a spot of ribbing. I don't want to resurrect the nonense of the other day but you asked, so I've been honest with you. I, genuinely, hope you're okay. I'm glad to see you're back and I hope you continue to post here when you need it, and get what you need from it. Take care bb, x
LikeCharlotte Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I think this is a good bit of introspective growth and I am glad you shared it. I'm not here and supportive as often as I once was but I still read and occasionally comment. We've all chosen to be here and ultimately it is to help ourselves while hopefully supporting others. We do not have to agree but being agreeable is almost necessary. If you are here, haven't you hurt enough?
HeavenOrHell Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I won't bother again, don't worry. que??? je ne comprend pas...
HeavenOrHell Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Sorry, I thought you were having a dig at me for giving a **** I was asking what the acronym stood for...
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