kis Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 I was talking to a women whose husband has been out of town on business a couple of days. He is to return today the third day. I half jokenly asked her if she was enjoying a few days of freedom. She looked at me sort of pitiful and said . No i miss him something terrible. Me and my son are just sorta of lost without him. Well this was sweet but they have been married for more than 15 years! I hate to admit it but if my husband was gone for just a few days i would enjoy the chance to not have to worry about cooking supper, watching whatever i wanted to on TV, work late if i wanted. Just things like that. A little break. I thought this was normal. But now i am wondering. So what do you all think?
redtail Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 ... I hate to admit it but if my husband was gone for just a few days i would enjoy the chance ... ... So what do you all think? Uh yeah, I guess if your husband was gone I'd enjoy the chance too! But seriously, yes, I've been married for 10 years and my wife and I enjoy each other's company a lot. Yes, I miss her when she's gone and she misses me, but she had a hard time admitting to me at first that she sometimes enjoys time to herself. And so do I, I enjoy being by myself for the same reasons you stated. She trusts me and I trust her, so there's no reason not to enjoy the times that we're apart.
shlee Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 I like having a couple days to myself. Look forward to them usually, actually. But that's because I have other things going on in my life, and I have friends and hobbies. The only thing that stinks about it is we have a dog (I'm sure it's even more so with children), which means that if he's not home for a couple days I'm the sole responsible person - gotta be home to take care of the dog, including running with him twice a day, feeding him, bathroom, etc. It's nice having someone to share that with, and can get annoying or hectic to be the only person doing that for several days. It's nice to share the responsibility. By the time he's home I'm so glad that he'll be volunteering to run with the dog twice in a day instead of splitting it up one and one with me, and so on. He always gives me a day at least to relax a bit.
carhill Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 So what do you all think? Well, I spent three days with some friends back east, married 44 years, two children and three grandchildren and the Mrs always goes with hubby everywhere, even to take me to the airport, and she's about as much of an opinionated and independent woman as I've seen. Retired from the legal profession. She and her husband do everything together. She would be lost without him and likely he her as well. She said she'd come out to Cali and find me if he ever croaked
BellaBellaBella Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 My DH travels several times a year on business. I always miss him and something always happens. In Nov, kidlet had pneumonia, I told not to worry I would handle it unless it got worse. In Jan, dog got sick, in May DD got gastritis, in June DD got asthma and gastritis, and the poor dog took another decline. I have forbidden him from traveling again soon.
Corporate Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 Well this was sweet but they have been married for more than 15 years! I hate to admit it but if my husband was gone for just a few days i would enjoy the chance to not have to worry about cooking supper, watching whatever i wanted to on TV, work late if i wanted. Just things like that. A little break. I thought this was normal. But now i am wondering. So what do you all think? Do you think you wanting him gone makes him want to cheat even more since he is kinda like a serial cheater?
spriggig Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 Thanksgiving 2009, my wife and I had been married almost 12 years. She left me and our son behind to visit her out of town parents and aunt. I missed her terribly and felt abandoned. I found out two months later that she had been cheating on me for almost two years with three different men (boys, really). That helped me get over the Thanksgiving thing.
2sunny Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 Do you think you wanting him gone makes him want to cheat even more since he is kinda like a serial cheater? a serial cheater does just that - cheats. serial cheaters who travel a lot just take advantage of their freedom of being away from home.
motogirl Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 I thought this was normal. But now i am wondering. So what do you all think? Yes it is normal. The other lady feeling lost without her hubby is also normal. Everyone and every relationship is different and it depends on the person. My hubby and I are a 'joined at the hip' kind of couple and that's the way we both like it. We each hate it if the other is gone for a day and we don't see each other. We seem to be in the minority though. It bothered me at first because most couples do prefer more alone time than we do. I listened to other people's opinions and let it make me feel like we were abnormal. Then I discovered there are some other couples like us and we are normal. The couples that sometimes prefer a little time apart are normal. It's all personal preference. So I don't feel bad about it anymore and neither should you. If it works for you and your hubby and everyone is happy, don't worry. What is 'normal' anyway? J/K... LOL!
Toodamnpragmatic Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 Plan on watching Mad Men and other shows she just is not into, golfing without looking at my watch (i.e. more then 18 holes), cooking everything I want, extra work to catch up on...... Oh and then hoping for a happy reunion when she comes back.....
Spark1111 Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 One web site that is well-known for strengthening marriages advises at least 15 hours of spouse time per week! Not necessarily chore related, but recreational time, even if it is sitting together watching tv and talking. They claim that is as much time as was spent while courting, and a big mistake couples make is that they do grow apart with separate hobbies, responsibilities, and kid managment. That initially seemed excessive to me. But it has helped strengthen the marriage and the intimacy. So I think there may be something to it.
2sure Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 I am out of town often. On business. I have never had an issue with my partner being out of town of town often , on business. I believe its nice to miss someone a bit. But next time I am in a relationship, I think I would prefer that one of us works locally. But now that I think about that...it would be strange for someone to just...always be there. All the time. To never be home by myself.
laRubiaBonita Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 i pretty much like it when my husband goes out of town for business! don't get me wrong i do miss him and i love him- but it is a welcome break! plus when he is gone, which is 3-5 times a year for 2-4 days at a time, that is when i get things done around the house... like cleaning out the closets beacuse i can leave the stuff out for a few days with out him getting all OCD-ish because of a pile of stuff. i am looking forward to his next trip, whenever that will be, because i am looking to put another hanging rod in our closet.
Stung Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 My husband and I are kind of a joined-at-the-hip couple, almost always making our plans and doing things together, but I always kind of enjoyed taking short 3-4 day breaks from that togetherness when he had to travel for work. I would schedule road trips with girlfriends or a spa weekend for that time, revel in having the bed to myself (no high-volume snoring to wake me), watch movies I knew he wouldn't be interested in, etc. I figured it was good for us to get a chance to miss each other once in a while...and after the first two days anticipation for the reunion sex would start to build. Having him call me at night to tell me how much he missed me always rekindled the romance. After we had a baby my perspective changed a little bit. Although I am always the primary caretaker due to my husband's long hours, it is still rough to be the sole responsible parent, with no help for tucking in at night or getting breakfast together in the morning, no respite. Now when he's gone it's less about missing my romantic partner (although that element is still there) and more about missing the practical hands-on help. Now we just fantasize about me coming along on his short business trips, and leaving the kids with their grandparents.
quankanne Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 it's not unusual for someone to miss their spouse that much, if they've got a really close relationship where they do everything together. Hell, even though DH and I agreed long ago on separate vacations – and enjoy the time apart – we still miss each other because we're accustomed to being with each other. I have forbidden him from traveling again soon. I'm sorry for your troubles, Bella, and I hope things have taken a turn for better. Still, a part of me cracks a HUGE grin, because this is what my coworkers tell me whenever I'm fixing to go on vacation! They don't like when I'm gone for more than a couple of days because things seem to happen ... one of our clergy runs off with a volunteer, the pope dies, horrible car problems abound, you name it. It was so bad this last time that I didn't hear the end of it for several days
She's_NotInLove_w/Me Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I hate to admit it but if my husband was gone for just a few days i would enjoy the chance to not have to worry about cooking supper, watching whatever i wanted to on TV, work late if i wanted. Just things like that. A little break. I thought this was normal. But now i am wondering. So what do you all think? I bet if your husband had to be away from you regularly... your point of view would very likely change... I would love for my wife to be away for a few days so I can relax and do as I please. On the other hand if she often had to be away for work or to take care of a sick relative, or some other reason, I would DEFINTELY be lost without her and missing her...
Curmudgeon Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I was talking to a women whose husband has been out of town on Well this was sweet but they have been married for more than 15 years! I hate to admit it but if my husband was gone for just a few days i would enjoy the chance to not have to worry about cooking supper, watching whatever i wanted to on TV, work late if i wanted. Just things like that. A little break. I thought this was normal. But now i am wondering. So what do you all think? We've been married for almost 14 years and we're both, very independent people. We're also both retired so pretty much together 24/7. What's really nice is that we allow one another "independence" where we live and can go for hours not seeing or speaking with one another yet evening meals are almost always planned, cooked and eaten together. We much prefer to go places together and treat every outing as somewhat of an adventure, even if it's as minor as returning from a store (most of them 18 or more miles from home) and taking off on a road not yet traveled and explored. The really nice part is that we have no problem if only one of us is hungry, one of us wants to shop, one of us wants to nap, etc. It's very much a live-and-let-live marriage with a lot of togetherness as well. Neither of us feels coralled!
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