spellcatcher Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 (edited) My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago - it seemed to make perfect sense up till now. We only dated for 3 months... it seems insignificant, but despite being 27, I have never found a man where everything clicked long enough to make it past 3 or 4 months. Mind you I have started dating very late... at about 21 or 22, and had only 3 or 4 actual relationships. I am a pretty girl, slim, fashionable and educated, but I'm not perfect... We met in January at a mutual friend's birthday dinner. He's a real estate lawyer, I'm a real estate agent. Our families were alike, we both wanted to run our own business, we seemed to have very similar views.. etc. We went out 2 months later and had an amazing time the first month and a half of dating. I never felt that way with a guy before - perfect, calm, like I found the right one at last. Like everything just fit. I think he felt the same way because he asked to meet my parents, introduced me to all his family (pretty quickly... I know), drove an hour to see me 3 times a week and well just made me feel like I was the first girl he "went out of his way" for. I sacrificed time and friends and even job advancement for him (because I went to stay with him every weekend and so didn't have time for open houses, family or friends). I did things for him I never did for a guy before, but in the end it didn't seem to matter. After a month or so I started to realize we had very little in common, we never agreed on anything anymore, and whats worse, he started raising his voice/swearing at me for all sorts of little things he didn't like. He would get offended by something I say, or a story I would tell... or the fact that my story was too long. I began to feel like an inconvenience to him and like parading me in front of his friends and then putting me down in public became my only purpose. We didn't enjoy the same things, (in fact it felt like he didn't enjoy anything that had to do with me - books, art, walks, trips, conversation, movies, music, etc). Eventually It got to a point where I was afraid of him, and his reaction if I brought up any of the issues, or told him I felt sick, or stressed or didn't want to go out. Moreover I was stressed with work at the time... it was a very busy spring and 2 of our senior people left, dropping alot of weight on the rest of us, and bringing about many major changes. I didn't feel I could look to him for support so we bickered and argued more... over every little thing (and mostly over txt message). He was also very traditional, which is something I liked initially and look for, but then the "woman in the kitchen/on the floor mopping" joke began to seem less and less funny. So one day we just broke it off, (once again over txt message........) He never called... I tried to contact him once or twice then I deleted his number. Only THEN (a week of no reply) I got a long email from him explaining how I'm making things up and he has nothing to apologize for and if I wanna talk, I should call HIM. I didn't have his number at that point, so I asked him to call me instead. He got furious, and we haven't been in contact since. The weirdest part is... I hardly even cried... I just went on with my life like nothing happened. I even felt relieved. But lately, I've had this unbearable urge to get in touch with him so I sent him a short email, to which he replied in an equally friendly manner (just a how you doing, been a while, etc). I sent another, but nothing back yet... it's been 2 weeks. I'm not sure why I'm doing this... it's an impulse... and somehow I still care... in a numb kind of way... I feel like it was all too quick... too much, too soon and ended just as unexpectedly over nothing major. I miss the guy he was that first month... or maybe I just miss the feeling? I probably already know the answer - we were a terrible match... but why do I have these feelings for him? Do I need closure? Is this even worth thinking about? Edited July 28, 2010 by spellcatcher
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