Author SoSilly Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 Do you love him because he couldn't leave his family, or in spite of it? I love him in every way. He's a great father and I don't blame him for wanting to stay. A good husband? No. At least not what he did to her with me. I know I can do this. I deserve to be with someone SINGLE. he was almost perfect (well, I didn't mind the imperfections). Funny that when I would see a very attractive guy somewhere, I would immediately look at his ring finger and if there was one - I would think "hands off". What the heck made this one so different? If he wasn't married, I know we would have been together for a VERY long time. Live and learn. On to the next.
Author SoSilly Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 Is it normal to have an angry stage? Up until 5 minutes ago, I was able to see what him/wife posted to fb. I finally hid their status updates. He's all happy and planning something big for tomorrow. (I didn't go to his page - it was posted in his status). Why am I angry? Because he's able to go back to a "NORMAL" life and I'm left with nothing. How can someone be that happy so quickly? It was only Tuesday that he was saying how painful it was to see me the night before and that his decision hurts everyone. Why am I having these thoughts of telling her? Or sending an anonymous letter? I told myself I wouldn't do that because of the kids, but it just doesn't make sense on how quick everything got back to normal for him. Ugh.
Mimolicious Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Is it normal to have an angry stage? Up until 5 minutes ago, I was able to see what him/wife posted to fb. I finally hid their status updates. He's all happy and planning something big for tomorrow. (I didn't go to his page - it was posted in his status). Why am I angry? Because he's able to go back to a "NORMAL" life and I'm left with nothing. How can someone be that happy so quickly? It was only Tuesday that he was saying how painful it was to see me the night before and that his decision hurts everyone. Why am I having these thoughts of telling her? Or sending an anonymous letter? I told myself I wouldn't do that because of the kids, but it just doesn't make sense on how quick everything got back to normal for him. Ugh. It is normal to have ANY stage, you are human with your feelings hurt. What is not so normal is what I call "doing it to yourself". Out of sight out of mind!!! Don't look into their FB page! This will only hurt you. Block them! They can't see you and you can't see them. Why hurt yourself in such a way?? Try it! It worked for me. I promise that the less you see and snoop the faster you hear and will be able to move on.
Mimolicious Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Oopsie! Sorry- pressed post before finishing. Why is he able to go back to his "normal" life so quickly? Because perhaps his life was always NORMAL! He most likely lied to you about his situation at home so he can get "Pity Pu$$y". Maybe it did hurt him to cut you off because now he doesn't have the alternate choice to run to. You were kinda "soothing" to his soul... Don't send her an anonymous letter! I can tell you from experience, you have no idea what kind of pain you are about to bring to someone else. Think of how you are feeling right now. Do you want to cause that on someone else, out of spite? what has she done to you for you to target her? If you are going to tell her anything, then do it maturely. Don't be a coward and send her an anonymous letter. Man up and face her, if that is what you really want. If you are ready to deal with so much more drama and cause yourself extra pain, by all means... You may not see it now because your judgment is fogged but it is much more easier to let it go and walk away than to cause havoc.
Author SoSilly Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 I do not want to cause any pain to her or their kids. I'm just furious. I don't snoop on their pages - I'm pretty strong about not going there. Just that I saw everything on the main page. Now that I have hid both of them, I don't have to see it unless I do snoop. I know I will chicken out on the letter. I just need to calm down. I don't mean to target HER. Maybe it's because I feel bad that he's being dishonest with her? From saying that he's numb and doesn't love her, to going back to normal just doesn't make sense. He did leave for almost a week, but would be there to tuck the kids in bed and come to my house or his best friends. So I do know that he told her he was leaving.
Mimolicious Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 OK, bear with me on some tough love here. I do not want to cause any pain to her or their kids. I'm just furious. I don't snoop on their pages - I'm pretty strong about not going there. Just that I saw everything on the main page. Now that I have hid both of them, I don't have to see it unless I do snoop. Hide?- NO! BLOCK!!! BLOCK THEM!! You wont see their post and they wont see yours (in case you guys have common friends that you post on their updates). You are sabotaging yourself here!!! Don't snoop because you will find! BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK! The way to get over a person is to block them out of your life- but you must start. I know I will chicken out on the letter. I just need to calm down. Yes, please calm down. Write it down, get a journal and write how you feel. I don't mean to target HER. Maybe it's because I feel bad that he's being dishonest with her? From saying that he's numb and doesn't love her, to going back to normal just doesn't make sense. Your anger is getting the best of you. Dishonest with her? Yes, he;s been dishonest with her for forgetting to tell her that he's been having an A. I am sure that if we get to ask his W if her H is numb towards her and if she thinks he doesn't love her, she is going to look at us like we are aliens. They haven't "gone back to normal", they are normal. It is his reality and he was paiting a different picture to you. If it doesn't make sense is because there it is nonsense! The proof is in the pudding. His life with his W seens normal because it is, hone! He did leave for almost a week, but would be there to tuck the kids in bed and come to my house or his best friends. So I do know that he told her he was leaving. You don't know what he told her! M people get into fights about the grocery bills... especially when one of them is having an A. They look for excuses to pick fights and break away. She probably kicked him out for not taking the garbage out or leaving the toilet seat up. You don't know that! If he's been back, obviously it was not catastrophical. He went back home and rico suave his W. That should tell you something. SoSilly- you are young and I am sure that you are a dime. Don't waste your energy and youth on this POS. Don't make someone a priority when to them you are a mere choice. Keep strong!
Author SoSilly Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 Thank you for the tough love. I NEED IT! I am not that young. mid-30's. I've been married before - no kids. I've had some very long relationships and haven't really dated much in the past 5 years since I've been divorced. His best friend and I are really close, so MM tells his best friend the same things. That's why I believe him. Why do we put these MM on a pedestal at first?
BB07 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Thank you for the tough love. I NEED IT! I am not that young. mid-30's. I've been married before - no kids. I've had some very long relationships and haven't really dated much in the past 5 years since I've been divorced. His best friend and I are really close, so MM tells his best friend the same things. That's why I believe him. Why do we put these MM on a pedestal at first? One reason is because they are so good at doing the poor me routine.
Mimolicious Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Thank you for the tough love. I NEED IT! I am not that young. mid-30's. I've been married before - no kids. I've had some very long relationships and haven't really dated much in the past 5 years since I've been divorced. His best friend and I are really close, so MM tells his best friend the same things. That's why I believe him. Why do we put these MM on a pedestal at first? ANYTIME! (Spank on your BUTT!) LOL! The BFF also knows what the MM is telling him. Nobody knows but just him and his W. My xH talked all sorts of bull and told our (his, hers and mine) mutual friends the same shenanigans to keep his story uniformed. When I was actually told all the jazz he was saying, I was baffled. It was very very far from the thruth. Besides, it's easier to manage lies if they are consistent. HEY! I AM IN MY EARLY 30's AND I AM BABY!!!!!!!!!! Please! Life has not even started yet! *cheers* I am D with kids and was with my xH since my late teens. Had only 2 boyfriends besides him. I've tried dating but it gets crazy and people are crazy! I have no time for nonsense. Never been with a MM but don't we put anyone that fancy us on a pedestal. They say and do the things that women like. Then they drop you as if you were the one that was on that same pedestal. Life is strange but it is what you make it.
scatterd Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Well welcome to the world now you are starting to see how things really are. Its so easy for MM to rewrite history about his marriage in order to get what he wants.What goes on behind closed doors only they know I am sure if he got caught he would tell her how you came on to him.It seems to go on allot Just take one day at a time you will feel different at different times.Oh and remember they usually come back for more crying about how they miss you and how bad it is at home.I hope you stay strong know we are here for you.
Author SoSilly Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 thank you. everyone has really helped me get through this so far and it's only been a few days. <3
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