Pepsi-Eric Posted February 10, 2004 Posted February 10, 2004 My girlfriend and i had sex for the first time 1 month ago, since then we have had sex 3 other times, 2 times in one night, so basically we have had sex on 3 occations, and its been two weeks since our last incounter. In fact in the last two weeks we have only madeout, and touched once, and the reality of this is it bothers me alot. Before i meet her i had no sex drive, but since we have been dating and progressing it has come into existance and has grown, and the problem is that we dont do anything, and every time i see her, it gets me going, then nothing happens and it bothers me. And i try, she always ends up being tired, like it is reasonable, but still, it bothers me. Also before we had sex we did stuff alot more often, like at least once a week but usually twice, but since its like stoped although school was easier for her last simester. Also often on occations she says things that would suggest there was a possibility of it happening and it gets my hopes up then nothing happens. In our relationship i think i could honestly say thats the only thing that bothers me. I said something to her about it on the weekend, but then we did end up doing something the next day, but that was the first time in two weeks, and earlier in the week before she had hinted at doing stuff on monday, but nothing happened. Saturday night we were out, and she said something that would suggest she would want to, but then we got home and she wanted to sleep. Like really its not even really about sex, its just that i want something, like we hardly even make out and it bothers me so much, you know, i said something to her about it last tuesday. But we were busy during the week. So basically what i want to know is, is it alright for me to tell her that this bothers me alot, or should i deal with it by myself (ie. self pleasure) and say nothing about it. Like really i think i have to say something about it cause it bothers me quite a bit, and its mostly the major thing that i think about. But the problem is that i am going away in a few days and and will be gone for a week, i dont want to upset her then end up leaving.
squirrels Posted February 10, 2004 Posted February 10, 2004 I think you should talk to her about it, see why there's a lack in physical stuff. You know, it's not shallow to want some action, it's a big part of a relationship. If she's not desiring anything physical(even kissing), there could be a problem there on her part. I would suggest communicating with her to see what's up.
SoleMate Posted February 11, 2004 Posted February 11, 2004 is it all right for me to tell her that this bothers me a lot? Yes, it is definitely OK and even recommended. Just make sure that you keep the tone positive: "I love being intimate with you and I always look forward to it. I felt disappointed on Friday because I thought you hinted that we could make love (NOT "have sex") and then you said you were too tired. I would be happy just to hold you close and kiss you if you're tired." DON'T SAY: "How come you're always too tired? Why don't you follow through? How come you have time for everything but this? You've woken my sex drive and now you're responsible for fulfilling it." BTW...it is not expected that your girlfriend will take care of every urge you have, especially if sex thoughts fill your every waking moment. Ask the LS men and they will tell you that even a guy with a terrific gf/sex partner may find himself flying solo on occasion. This is not something I would expect you to discuss with your gf unless the circumstances are unusual. Neither of you can demand sex from the other. You have no "right", you can only ask. And also...make it good, really good, because then she'll want it more.
calithin83 Posted February 12, 2004 Posted February 12, 2004 I honestly think u should talk to her, i dont know maybe she doesnt like sex or being too physical, maybe shes uncomftorable, just sit one on one with her one day and just talk about it and see what she sais, tell her that if she doesnt want to anymore that okay...but to not lead you on in thinking you might get some, i understand u must feel off cos shes ure girl and u barely get any affection in that way... but well i dunno i really dont understand ure girl...cos when it comes to my bf i cant get my hands off him, we still kiss despite the fact that weve been together for a long time and my sex drive and our sexual relations are way better then when we met, so i dunno.l..maybe somethings wrong and u need to see what it is.. at first i used to feel uncomftorable giving my bf head but he told me how he fel t aboutit and then once he said that if i didnt wanna do it then i didnt have to anymore, even though i knew he wanted me to, that made me change my ways because i really liked him and i really did wanna do things with him it was just weird at first...now its all good:) goodluck
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