Emir_X Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Hi everyone, this is my first post here, so bear with me I'm from little place called (Yeni) Novi Pazar, Serbia, I've been in search for right girl long time and about one year before I think I have met one. This is how things were going. I was third year of college, one day between classes I saw one of my best friends going down the street with one beautiful girl. At first I thought that was his gf until he told me that was his sister. That was the time I met her, but not the first time to see her. That day, I was amazed how beautiful my friends sister is. But, I didn't have any intention of picking her up, after all she was my best friends sister. Those days I was visiting that friends home cause I was fixing his old computer from time to time. One day, I find out that his sister is volunteering at hospital and I heeded some papers to pass long line of patients to be checked for sport injuries. So I contacted her over messenger and she did the work for me with papers, mainly she helped me a lot. For that I wanted to give a gift to her, nothing special, one deodorant for girls. And by the way, having no idea where that IDEA come from, I asked her out, witch by the look on her eyes she was kinda flattered, but of course she said no. No matter, I'm not good with girls anyway, but this one I couldn't lose just like that... I asked her many times after, and we actually went to a lot of dates, first date was kinda best one, she told me she need someone to talk to and she thinks I'm really the one who she can talk to openly. Anyway, we had many, many dates, but still the most erotic thing I did with her was kiss in her cheek, and I'm the one that does all the work, she doesn't wants to go any deeper than that. Ok, I understand, since I know her family and if things go wrong nothing good would go out of it, but I told her, she is too special for me to see her with anyone else, cause anyone else is much worst then me (and I'm not being egocentric). Her brother eventually find out about our dating and eventually of course we had to talk about it. He told me that in my case he won't go between me and his sister, since he knows I'm a good guy and would be right choice for his sister. I got that out of the way, and it was easier for me to continue dating with his sister. So lets get to important issue. Our every date lately is mostly the same, talk, talk, flirt, talk, flirt and same... Problem is, she told me she is not ready for any kind of relationship, and if she'll every be, it could only be serious one (going steady is the term I think). The first time she told me that, I reduced number of romantic sms, chatting over messenger, calling her, thinking that that was her way of telling me "I want something better than you" or what ever girl wants to tell you when she doesn't like your company. We went to another date, and we talk out the issue about that, she was kinda mad of me not contacting her as before, witch told me she likes my company and she actually told me she do. So I have continued contacting her in every way, but she still was behind that "I don't want to get into relationship" wall, witch I don't really understand with girls, they really don't know what they want. So not thinking much about it, I just tried to enjoy her company on any date we get. We talk a lot about kids, family issues and those problems in families, we both love kids and talk a lot about them, so we kinda both want the same thing, and that is family. On our dates, I'm trying to get closer to her, so our legs can be in contact, but she refuses that too. Being good guy in modern relationship terms, I could go like this long time, you know, dating, flirting, dating, flirting, hopping that someday I might do something special and become much more closer to her. The reason I'm writing this post and registering to this forum, is that I want to ask you a question. Tonight, I was talking to her, I was telling her all the things I liked about her, and she liked that, btw she told me that obviously she is not in to me as much as I am in to her, and when I asked her, what has she told her (girl)friend about me, when we were in town, she said "the same thing I have told you - that you are nice guy and I like spending time with you", after bit more of flirting online, I had no idea what come to my mind I just went crazy, I told her "I'm coming to your neighborhood to see you", and it was 10pm, witch in our term is late for going out. Not accepting her words over net witch were telling me not to come, and knowing that it was a bad thing, I sit in my car I went straight to her home. When I arrived, I send her SMS to come out, wanting to see her and kiss her in cheek if nothing else, but she was saying that she is not coming out for sure, no mater what. I come back home, realizing that I did something totally immature. Than I start chatting with her online (again), saying sorry, and many stupid things, (i think cause I'm in love, so when I'm in love, I do stupid things witch are over my head) she was so mad, I said "I'm sorry, I made a mistake, it would never happen again, I realized that you not that kind of girl"... than she blow and told me "this is why I think you are immature", then to leave her alone for a while and it is last time for me to come like this at her hood for sure. The question is, what am I doing wrong... Is it really that bad that I come home at her hood just to see her at least... What should I do to make her forget that... and globally, how can I make her see that I really love her (I can't tell her, I don't know what would happen) and that I want to go steady with her, I know I'm a bit immature and adrenalin is pumping my veins but that can't be the thing that is keeping me back, or can it. Am I going to be bored to her if I keep dating with her like this. Please ask me for more details if you need about my situation if I might have missed something, I definitely need help about this.
Joe10 Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 (edited) She's not into you, and won't be until she's old enough to marry, and you've got a good job, then maybe she might show more interest. She doesn't like you because you are a nice guy. She has placed you in the friend zone. Two words: Move on. Edited July 28, 2010 by Joe10
Author Emir_X Posted July 29, 2010 Author Posted July 29, 2010 what are the things that define (not nice) bad guy.
collegemommy Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 I agree with Joe10... She's just not into you. Find someone that appreciates you for you. Someone that wants to be treated well and respected. Don't waste your time playing games with her. She's not interested.
Author Emir_X Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 She told me that she likes going out with me, but she is just not sure how far can our relationship go. Should I push this thing of ours or just say to her that I want to be just friend... She indirectly showed me that she is kinda of girl that is building walls around and waiting for the one who is brave enough to go trough them. I'm thinking she is expecting something of me but playing innocent. Once she told me that she was expecting from me to say to her brother something important but there was noting to say except that I was just going out with his sister, she agreed with that but still I knew she was expecting something more, and I don't know what exactly. I'll keep dating her if she wants and I'll try to pull something more direct this time, and I'll see how will she react but it would be nice of someone more experienced to tell me am I going to make a mistake or not.
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