Can You Relate?

[TigerCub]

You've chained me up and I can barely move

Having me here gives you something to prove

 

I fill a need for you that you don’t comprehend

You just know that your voids I can mend

 

You think that a smile on the face hides the pain inside

You act like compromise strips you of your pride

 

But I loved you as you are without question or hesitation

But you only saw that as an invitation

 

To lure me and try to "figure me out"

Cuz when it comes to me, you're riddled with doubt

 

You stare so intensely into me

Are there fragments of you that you can see?

 

As I fight with your chains, I can't recall

How I let myself get here at all

 

But I can't breathe and I'm afraid that I

Can't fill your voids when you make me cry

 

I'm suffocating in the trap you've set

I've been drowning in you since the day we met

 

You watch me chained up wondering what I'll do

As I struggle against giving into you

 

As I writhe and fight I finally understand

That this is exactly where I was meant to land

 

Now I'm chained up so tight and I can't break free

As you move ever closer to devour me.

 

 

**I write poems only when I'm really affected by something, this one in particular feels like the truest thing I ever wrote.

[Hazyhead]

That poem says a lot about how you feel about him and the effect he has on you. You are in control of you hon, your NC will give you the space to step back and breathe. And keep writing!

[In_Repair]

It's good that you have a creative outlet like that. I'm not creative and when I want to do something distracting it's usually something technical, which doesn't allow the same levels of expression.

 

 

As for the feelings behind the poem... you aren't being trapped and you aren't being swept away. You are staring this future right in the face and making the conscious decision to keep moving towards it. This isn't romance, it's just a serial cheater who was trying to put another notch in the old bedpost, but he screwed around and got emotionally involved.

 

The first time I thought that my MW was trying to play a game with me was the first time she went on and on about how our love was so special and that she had never felt it before. I thought back to my own wife telling me the same thing about her boyfriend on the side. Then back to the 900 different threads I had read here on LS where the APs are always convinced of the same thing. You aren't seeing clearly, and neither is he. That is, or was(?), referred to as being in the "affair fog". Best sex you've ever had... closest bond you've ever experienced... never felt love like this... blah, blah, blah... Whether they actually mean it or not, everyone hears/says the same thing in these cases.

[noel2]

Wow! That was amazing stuff, this is my personal favorite and the way I feel in my A too:

I'm suffocating in the trap you've set

I've been drowning in you since the day we met

[TigerCub]

 

The first time I thought that my MW was trying to play a game with me was the first time she went on and on about how our love was so special and that she had never felt it before. I thought back to my own wife telling me the same thing about her boyfriend on the side. Then back to the 900 different threads I had read here on LS where the APs are always convinced of the same thing. You aren't seeing clearly, and neither is he. That is, or was(?), referred to as being in the "affair fog". Best sex you've ever had... closest bond you've ever experienced... never felt love like this... blah, blah, blah... Whether they actually mean it or not, everyone hears/says the same thing in these cases.

 

I hardly ever read threads in this section, but I am now and I totally see how everyone says the same thing. Its AMAZING!!! it really is.

 

You're absolutely right, I really need to step back to see things clearly.

 

Thanks

[TigerCub]

Wow! That was amazing stuff, this is my personal favorite and the way I feel in my A too:

I'm suffocating in the trap you've set

I've been drowning in you since the day we met

 

Thank you

Yeah, I personally feel those lines are powerful in the way the explain that sensation of being consumed by all that's going on with him.

 

Thanks

[TigerCub]

That poem says a lot about how you feel about him and the effect he has on you. You are in control of you hon, your NC will give you the space to step back and breathe. And keep writing!

 

Thanks Hazy

I wrote this a few weeks ago, because I really was starting to feel suffocated by all that was going on.

 

I logically know that I am in control of the situation and my involvement in it, and I'm really trying to keep that in mind and not slip back into all this. My biggest fear is feeling trapped, and I'm definitely at the point where things with him make me feel that way - hence the NC.

 

Thanks so much for you kind words and support.

 

btw - I read your posts and your story. I'm really glad that your situation is over now (step by step). I'm proud of you because it sounded like it took a lot!

 

**HUGS**

[Hazyhead]

Thanks Hazy

I wrote this a few weeks ago, because I really was starting to feel suffocated by all that was going on.

 

I logically know that I am in control of the situation and my involvement in it, and I'm really trying to keep that in mind and not slip back into all this. My biggest fear is feeling trapped, and I'm definitely at the point where things with him make me feel that way - hence the NC.

 

Thanks so much for you kind words and support.

 

btw - I read your posts and your story. I'm really glad that your situation is over now (step by step). I'm proud of you because it sounded like it took a lot!

 

**HUGS**

 

Thanks Tiger. If you've read then you'd have seen how fantastic everyone can be here in their support of you. So keep posting

 

I can understand feeling suffocated by it all... it completely consumes you, doesn't it? I'm so pleased for you that you've already initiated NC; this will really be your biggest tool for being able to breathe again. And it will come, with time.